Repentant Satire

Today’s special Tuesday post is brought to you by the middle east ... i love you middle east! Who else could provide me with such great stories to laugh at? I mean seriously, you are a nutty, nutty place.

With that in mind we take you to Saudi Arabia where a 13 year old girl has been sentenced to 90 lashes with a whip and 2 years in prison after fighting with her teacher. The teacher was attempting to take the child's phone (which was a camera phone and thus banned) and the child protested, not giving the phone to the teacher when commanded to do so. So, as in all civilized countries, she was arrested, charged and convicted of corporal punishment. Makes sense to me. Amnesty International has been in contact with the Saudi monarchy in an effort to have the sentence over turned and in response the Saudis have said that the girl was "about 20" years old and so the punishment was acceptable. 13, 20 what's the difference? I love how we choose our allies, no need to have any conditions for our support ... would it be impossible to say that we won't give you any more attack helicopters or money until you stop sanctioning the physical abuse of children? Would it be impossible to tax Chinese manufactured goods to death until they change the deplorable conditions of the factories in their country? That's all crazy talk ... everybody gets "favored nation" status and attack helicopters for everyone!

And in Bush/Cheney news the Obama administration this month awarded a $25 million federal contract for work in Afghanistan to a company owned by a Democratic campaign contributor without entertaining competitive bids. The contract, awarded on Jan. 4 to Checchi & Company Consulting, Inc., a Washington-based firm owned by economist and Democratic donor Vincent V. Checchi, will pay the firm $24,673,427 to provide "rule of law stabilization services" in war-torn Afghanistan. We are at war with multiple people groups that only cooperate every few decades when they are invaded in a country that has no central government or national laws that are enforced outside the capital. Who knew that for $25 mil all that could be solved! You know what, for $10 million i'll go there and explain to the Afghans that their country would be better if it were like ours and ruled by a strong central government. I can be just as ineffective for $15 million less! What a deal. And it's nice to see President Obama throw his cronies some no-bid contracts ... there's just something wrong with a President that doesn't spend the taxpayer's money to make his friends rich. It's the American way.

And in all's well in Iraq news, the people of Bagdad are very excited that the war is over there ... except for that pesky little coordinated bombing yesterday where three hotels were all targeted with car bombs within minutes of each other. There are 36 dead and 60 more wounded as the Sheraton, Hotel Babylon and the al-Hamra were attacked. I'm just glad to see that the Iraqi security force is on top of the situation and got it all under control.

Happy Monday!