Ok, so the thing is, fiction takes longer than the news. I mean the news writes itself and i have to write the fiction ... if i just didn't have that pesky job i could really devote myself to finishing my story for you. And with that said, i will renew my offer for you to find a ton of friends to send me money so that i can blog full time ... short of that you're going to have to wait for the story (having trouble with the ending). Today's post is brought to you by people who's books i've read that died. God be with you both Howard Zinn and JD Salinger, you will be missed.
Salinger won't really be missed on account of the fact that he was really weird and has been hiding in New Hampshire for the last few decades. Missing someone post mortem sort of requires that you have in fact seen or heard from that person in your life time. Really, i've missed him since i was born, although i have read two of his books and he sold a gazillion copies of Catcher in the Rye, i have never seen the man or heard his voice. I guess it's still sad that he died, even if Catcher in the Rye is the second most overrated book in the history of paper. (First place goes to On the Road, an awful tale of travel written with out leaving a basement).
Zinn, on the other hand, was becoming more and more public as time went on ... i really don't know what to say about the guy other than to tell you to read People's History of the United States. If we know each other and you live in the United States i have been probably telling you to read it for a long time ... you will not regret learning things about your country that you didn't know (sorry European, Canadian and South African readers ... i've got nothing for you here, if you read it you'll just hate America even more so you're not allowed.) I'll just say in closing that there are few people in the world who flood the marginalized with the spot light and Howard Zinn i adore you for you service to your country and you insistence that we never forget the people who built this great nation with their blood, sweat, tears and in many cases with their very lives.
I know that you've all been thinking about Yemen lately and you thinking to yourselves, "Pinko, you said we were going to invade Yemen and you were wrong." So ... in Yemen news, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton released a statement yesterday on the subject, and here it is, “We recognize that the challenges facing Yemen cannot be solved by military action alone. Progress against violent extremists and progress toward a better future for the Yemeni people will depend upon fortifying development efforts. The Yemeni people deserve the opportunity to determine their own future, not leaving their fate to extremists who incite violence and inflict harm." Doesn't that sound nice? and then came the news ... the Pentagon is escalating military operations in Yemen with a major new deployment of Special Forces. Military officials say the number of US operatives will “significantly increase” above the estimated 200 Special Forces currently on the ground. The US has been deeply involved in secret joint operations with Yemeni troops that have killed scores of people, including civilians and suspected al-Qaeda leaders, in the past six weeks. The news comes as the US and other nations met Wednesday in London at an international conference on Yemen. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said the US won’t just rely on military operations to fight Yemen’s militant extremists. INVASION! It was quiet, there were already 200 soldiers on the ground and then they had a secret meeting to "decide the fate of the Yemeni question" and decided that we would not JUST invade ... we'll do other stuff too. That's nice of us. My only question is that if we want the Yemeni people to have a self determining government, why don't the two massive regions of the country currently revolting against the government count? Why don't they get to determine? It hurts to be right, it hurts to know that we are bringing efficient death to more people. Forget all your other lies President Obama, i forgive you for all of them but this, to promise an end to war and to instead make new wars, to take the Nobel Peace Prize for your good intentions and to melt it down, forming it into warheads to fire at villages filled with women and children. Mr. President, bring our soldiers home to their families, learn that violence strengthens ideologues rather than dissuading them and end this madness once and for all. Where is the diplomacy that you promised? You told the world that you would be rational and firm and talk out problems and the only talking you're doing in the world is with the sound of cruise missiles. Shame on us all for believing the hollow words of a politician.
Happy Thursday?
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Repentant Satire
Today’s special Tuesday post is brought to you by the middle east ... i love you middle east! Who else could provide me with such great stories to laugh at? I mean seriously, you are a nutty, nutty place.
With that in mind we take you to Saudi Arabia where a 13 year old girl has been sentenced to 90 lashes with a whip and 2 years in prison after fighting with her teacher. The teacher was attempting to take the child's phone (which was a camera phone and thus banned) and the child protested, not giving the phone to the teacher when commanded to do so. So, as in all civilized countries, she was arrested, charged and convicted of corporal punishment. Makes sense to me. Amnesty International has been in contact with the Saudi monarchy in an effort to have the sentence over turned and in response the Saudis have said that the girl was "about 20" years old and so the punishment was acceptable. 13, 20 what's the difference? I love how we choose our allies, no need to have any conditions for our support ... would it be impossible to say that we won't give you any more attack helicopters or money until you stop sanctioning the physical abuse of children? Would it be impossible to tax Chinese manufactured goods to death until they change the deplorable conditions of the factories in their country? That's all crazy talk ... everybody gets "favored nation" status and attack helicopters for everyone!
And in Bush/Cheney news the Obama administration this month awarded a $25 million federal contract for work in Afghanistan to a company owned by a Democratic campaign contributor without entertaining competitive bids. The contract, awarded on Jan. 4 to Checchi & Company Consulting, Inc., a Washington-based firm owned by economist and Democratic donor Vincent V. Checchi, will pay the firm $24,673,427 to provide "rule of law stabilization services" in war-torn Afghanistan. We are at war with multiple people groups that only cooperate every few decades when they are invaded in a country that has no central government or national laws that are enforced outside the capital. Who knew that for $25 mil all that could be solved! You know what, for $10 million i'll go there and explain to the Afghans that their country would be better if it were like ours and ruled by a strong central government. I can be just as ineffective for $15 million less! What a deal. And it's nice to see President Obama throw his cronies some no-bid contracts ... there's just something wrong with a President that doesn't spend the taxpayer's money to make his friends rich. It's the American way.
And in all's well in Iraq news, the people of Bagdad are very excited that the war is over there ... except for that pesky little coordinated bombing yesterday where three hotels were all targeted with car bombs within minutes of each other. There are 36 dead and 60 more wounded as the Sheraton, Hotel Babylon and the al-Hamra were attacked. I'm just glad to see that the Iraqi security force is on top of the situation and got it all under control.
Happy Monday!
With that in mind we take you to Saudi Arabia where a 13 year old girl has been sentenced to 90 lashes with a whip and 2 years in prison after fighting with her teacher. The teacher was attempting to take the child's phone (which was a camera phone and thus banned) and the child protested, not giving the phone to the teacher when commanded to do so. So, as in all civilized countries, she was arrested, charged and convicted of corporal punishment. Makes sense to me. Amnesty International has been in contact with the Saudi monarchy in an effort to have the sentence over turned and in response the Saudis have said that the girl was "about 20" years old and so the punishment was acceptable. 13, 20 what's the difference? I love how we choose our allies, no need to have any conditions for our support ... would it be impossible to say that we won't give you any more attack helicopters or money until you stop sanctioning the physical abuse of children? Would it be impossible to tax Chinese manufactured goods to death until they change the deplorable conditions of the factories in their country? That's all crazy talk ... everybody gets "favored nation" status and attack helicopters for everyone!
And in Bush/Cheney news the Obama administration this month awarded a $25 million federal contract for work in Afghanistan to a company owned by a Democratic campaign contributor without entertaining competitive bids. The contract, awarded on Jan. 4 to Checchi & Company Consulting, Inc., a Washington-based firm owned by economist and Democratic donor Vincent V. Checchi, will pay the firm $24,673,427 to provide "rule of law stabilization services" in war-torn Afghanistan. We are at war with multiple people groups that only cooperate every few decades when they are invaded in a country that has no central government or national laws that are enforced outside the capital. Who knew that for $25 mil all that could be solved! You know what, for $10 million i'll go there and explain to the Afghans that their country would be better if it were like ours and ruled by a strong central government. I can be just as ineffective for $15 million less! What a deal. And it's nice to see President Obama throw his cronies some no-bid contracts ... there's just something wrong with a President that doesn't spend the taxpayer's money to make his friends rich. It's the American way.
And in all's well in Iraq news, the people of Bagdad are very excited that the war is over there ... except for that pesky little coordinated bombing yesterday where three hotels were all targeted with car bombs within minutes of each other. There are 36 dead and 60 more wounded as the Sheraton, Hotel Babylon and the al-Hamra were attacked. I'm just glad to see that the Iraqi security force is on top of the situation and got it all under control.
Happy Monday!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Time to Explain
Today’s post is brought to you by transparency. I’m going to broadcast all of the meetings that lead up to this post on C-SPAN ... oh, right, we’re not doing that whole healthcare thing now, we’re gonna make some jobs instead.
The aforementioned Monday Explanation post has been removed after several readers reported falling asleep while reading it. All of us here at Pinko's World would like to apologize for those of you who read the rambling drivel that appeared here until minutes ago. All the writers who were involved have been terminated, and while we are very sensitive to the employment situation in this country we cannot tolerate such a half hearted effort to bear our name.
The next post was promised to be a work of fiction but we have a team of writers that are going to work through the night to come up with some satirical commentary of the news and that should appear here tomorrow.
Again we apologize for this "systemic failure" and vow to have procedures put into place to prevent further boring you to tears with empty premises and sorry prose.
Happy Monday!
The aforementioned Monday Explanation post has been removed after several readers reported falling asleep while reading it. All of us here at Pinko's World would like to apologize for those of you who read the rambling drivel that appeared here until minutes ago. All the writers who were involved have been terminated, and while we are very sensitive to the employment situation in this country we cannot tolerate such a half hearted effort to bear our name.
The next post was promised to be a work of fiction but we have a team of writers that are going to work through the night to come up with some satirical commentary of the news and that should appear here tomorrow.
Again we apologize for this "systemic failure" and vow to have procedures put into place to prevent further boring you to tears with empty premises and sorry prose.
Happy Monday!
Friday, January 22, 2010
The Supreme Court thinks GE should get a vote.
For those of you who came to see "Gangsta Othello" it is the post below this one and is genius! It now holds the record for the most views of any post on this blog (completely crushing the old record) and was not written by me. My friend Steve generously donated it to us and leads me to believe that you want more guest writers and less me and to that i say .. too bad! Or maybe we'll take what we get and see where it goes, so as my wife says to pacify my children when they want something, "We'll see."
Today's post is really serious and if you want to laugh then go and watch this, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpevc2t_Frw&feature=popt16usit's really funny no matter where you stand on the whole health care thing. Here's where i stand; I once lived in Germany and while i was there i scratched my cornea and had to go to the doctor and my father's insurance (although great) did not cover children being idiots in continental europe. I wonder why? So in Germany they have the dreaded "socalized medicine", and i didn't know what to do, but i lived with a great family while i was there and they made me a doctor's appointment and sent me to the doctor with my "sister"'s medical ID card. When i got there the office girl slid the card and sent me in to see the doctor (the wait was not long enough to sit in the waiting room chair). The doctor diagnosed, treated and gave me prescription medication for my eye in about 15 minutes and i was on my way. In Germany they pay about 55% of their income in taxes, and they have trains and busses and trolleys and a school system that makes sense and doctors and crazy unemployment/disability benefits (can you say extra vacation money for the unemployed?) and probably other stuff too. But you must remember that they have no old men and haven't had any for a long time (between 5 and 7 million dead from 1936-1945), so that lowers costs. So i don't know what to tell you about the health care thing, but if you want the German system you have to raise taxes a lot and if you raise my taxes i want to ride a train to work!
On to the big serious news. Yesterday the Supreme Court of the United Stated ruled that Congress may not pass laws restricting the free speech of corporations as it pertains to election politics. The ruling basically says that corporations are people too and that if they want to spend a gazillion dollars to tell you that Sarah Palin is the anti-christ then they have every right to do so. The Democrats hate this and the Republicans love it. Here's why.
Democrat view: Corporations will spend money endorsing republicans and denouncing us because we have spent the better part of 30 years telling the American people that they are demons and to hate them. Then we passed laws that made it illegal for them to fight back. Now they're going to fight back. NO FAIR!
Republican view: Ha, ha the dumb democrats are gonna get it now!
So that's where everybody stands. And they are both right, the other concern is that now the elected are going to have to be the puppets of corporations in order to remain in office. Honestly, i hate huge corporations, but if you think for one minute that all the people you've sent to Washington are not already in bed with special interests you are fooling yourself. Nothing is going to change with this except that you'll have more dumb commercials before an election (do you decide who to vote for based on those commercials?). The other thing is that corporations all care about different issues and the influx of information is going to, in large part, cancel itself out. In short, they are not going to all agree. And for those elected officials who claim to be crusaders of truth and principles, you just keep on being a pompus ass Chuck Schumer and see where pretending to be "for the people" gets you now. Chuck Schumer is for the people like Pol Pot was for Cambodians. And before all my liberal readers get mad at me please remember that i am a COMMUNIST! This is what the first amendment to our constitution says;
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
It means many things, just look at all those commas, i love commas! It says that the federal government MAY NOT pass laws that interfere with the exercise of religion, restrict speech, restrict the written word, stop people from meeting or stop people from suing the government, the first part means that they can't establish the Church of America and fund it with taxes. So, when a judge erects a ten commandments monument outside a court house it is off limits for the federal government to do anything about it, when kids pray in school, when i write about how they are going to invade Yemen any day now, when people march on Washington DC, when you shout about the government being a crummy bunch of nincompoops outside your house ... all of it is untouchable by the feds. Clearly the federal government cannot make a law restricting my ability to create a campaign commercial for my favorite candidate and paying to have it on TV. -So, what's the problem? The problem is not what anyone would have you believe if you're reading the news about this, the real problem for the American people is that the Supreme Court continues to recognize that corporations are equal to PEOPLE in the eyes of the laws of our country. Microsoft, Pfizer, Walmart, Citigroup and ExxonMobile are not people! To suggest that they should be equally protected is exactly what is wrong with this government, they continue to operate under the assumption that with out these megalithic businesses our nation would crumble. Our nation was not founded nor does it stand as a collection of corporations. If they were all gone tomorrow we would be fine, if we operate under a market driven economy (everyone tells me we do) then the market dictates demand and suppliers are inevitable. Bank of America goes bust? A new bank takes its place or existing banks expand ... that is the only advantage to a market economy, no one is essential. What percent of long distance use was through MCI Worldcom when they disappeared in the middle of the night in a poof of smoke and fraudulent accounting? Can those people call long distance now? They can? Oh, the market works, there was no price escalation, no chaos, nothing ... just the quiet implosion of a multinational that took an instant. It is treating corporations like people that leads our government to give them bailout money rather than let them fail, buying GM is not necessary in a market driven economy. Gm goes bust, there is a demand for their unique product and someone will step up and fill the void (no UAW you don't get $85/hour and 100% pensions after 25 years at the new company, but neither do the rest of us so welcome back to reality ... maybe paying you is what busted them out?). C'mon people you're the capitalists, you're supposed to understand this stuff. Treating corporations like people is what allows them to sue in court, treating corporations like people is suggesting that they have inherent value as individuals, which they do not. They are CORPORATIONS whose sole purpose is to make profit and the entire deck is stacked in the favor of the largest and most aggressive already ... let's strike down this old thinking that individuals do not rank light-years ahead of companies in value (my baby is worth more than GE) and get it over with. By the way, as far as i'm concerned they can still make all the commercials they want to.
Happy Friday!
Today's post is really serious and if you want to laugh then go and watch this, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpevc2t_Frw&feature=popt16usit's really funny no matter where you stand on the whole health care thing. Here's where i stand; I once lived in Germany and while i was there i scratched my cornea and had to go to the doctor and my father's insurance (although great) did not cover children being idiots in continental europe. I wonder why? So in Germany they have the dreaded "socalized medicine", and i didn't know what to do, but i lived with a great family while i was there and they made me a doctor's appointment and sent me to the doctor with my "sister"'s medical ID card. When i got there the office girl slid the card and sent me in to see the doctor (the wait was not long enough to sit in the waiting room chair). The doctor diagnosed, treated and gave me prescription medication for my eye in about 15 minutes and i was on my way. In Germany they pay about 55% of their income in taxes, and they have trains and busses and trolleys and a school system that makes sense and doctors and crazy unemployment/disability benefits (can you say extra vacation money for the unemployed?) and probably other stuff too. But you must remember that they have no old men and haven't had any for a long time (between 5 and 7 million dead from 1936-1945), so that lowers costs. So i don't know what to tell you about the health care thing, but if you want the German system you have to raise taxes a lot and if you raise my taxes i want to ride a train to work!
On to the big serious news. Yesterday the Supreme Court of the United Stated ruled that Congress may not pass laws restricting the free speech of corporations as it pertains to election politics. The ruling basically says that corporations are people too and that if they want to spend a gazillion dollars to tell you that Sarah Palin is the anti-christ then they have every right to do so. The Democrats hate this and the Republicans love it. Here's why.
Democrat view: Corporations will spend money endorsing republicans and denouncing us because we have spent the better part of 30 years telling the American people that they are demons and to hate them. Then we passed laws that made it illegal for them to fight back. Now they're going to fight back. NO FAIR!
Republican view: Ha, ha the dumb democrats are gonna get it now!
So that's where everybody stands. And they are both right, the other concern is that now the elected are going to have to be the puppets of corporations in order to remain in office. Honestly, i hate huge corporations, but if you think for one minute that all the people you've sent to Washington are not already in bed with special interests you are fooling yourself. Nothing is going to change with this except that you'll have more dumb commercials before an election (do you decide who to vote for based on those commercials?). The other thing is that corporations all care about different issues and the influx of information is going to, in large part, cancel itself out. In short, they are not going to all agree. And for those elected officials who claim to be crusaders of truth and principles, you just keep on being a pompus ass Chuck Schumer and see where pretending to be "for the people" gets you now. Chuck Schumer is for the people like Pol Pot was for Cambodians. And before all my liberal readers get mad at me please remember that i am a COMMUNIST! This is what the first amendment to our constitution says;
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
It means many things, just look at all those commas, i love commas! It says that the federal government MAY NOT pass laws that interfere with the exercise of religion, restrict speech, restrict the written word, stop people from meeting or stop people from suing the government, the first part means that they can't establish the Church of America and fund it with taxes. So, when a judge erects a ten commandments monument outside a court house it is off limits for the federal government to do anything about it, when kids pray in school, when i write about how they are going to invade Yemen any day now, when people march on Washington DC, when you shout about the government being a crummy bunch of nincompoops outside your house ... all of it is untouchable by the feds. Clearly the federal government cannot make a law restricting my ability to create a campaign commercial for my favorite candidate and paying to have it on TV. -So, what's the problem? The problem is not what anyone would have you believe if you're reading the news about this, the real problem for the American people is that the Supreme Court continues to recognize that corporations are equal to PEOPLE in the eyes of the laws of our country. Microsoft, Pfizer, Walmart, Citigroup and ExxonMobile are not people! To suggest that they should be equally protected is exactly what is wrong with this government, they continue to operate under the assumption that with out these megalithic businesses our nation would crumble. Our nation was not founded nor does it stand as a collection of corporations. If they were all gone tomorrow we would be fine, if we operate under a market driven economy (everyone tells me we do) then the market dictates demand and suppliers are inevitable. Bank of America goes bust? A new bank takes its place or existing banks expand ... that is the only advantage to a market economy, no one is essential. What percent of long distance use was through MCI Worldcom when they disappeared in the middle of the night in a poof of smoke and fraudulent accounting? Can those people call long distance now? They can? Oh, the market works, there was no price escalation, no chaos, nothing ... just the quiet implosion of a multinational that took an instant. It is treating corporations like people that leads our government to give them bailout money rather than let them fail, buying GM is not necessary in a market driven economy. Gm goes bust, there is a demand for their unique product and someone will step up and fill the void (no UAW you don't get $85/hour and 100% pensions after 25 years at the new company, but neither do the rest of us so welcome back to reality ... maybe paying you is what busted them out?). C'mon people you're the capitalists, you're supposed to understand this stuff. Treating corporations like people is what allows them to sue in court, treating corporations like people is suggesting that they have inherent value as individuals, which they do not. They are CORPORATIONS whose sole purpose is to make profit and the entire deck is stacked in the favor of the largest and most aggressive already ... let's strike down this old thinking that individuals do not rank light-years ahead of companies in value (my baby is worth more than GE) and get it over with. By the way, as far as i'm concerned they can still make all the commercials they want to.
Happy Friday!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Gangsta Othello (to the tune of DMX's "Up in Here")
The following bit of genius was written by an old friend of mine, Steven Rounds
It is used with permission and gratitude!
Iago make me draw my sword/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me forsake my word//Up in here, up in here
Iago make me lose my wife/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me take my life/Up in here, up in here
Once upon a time not long ago
Lived a Moorish soldier with a tale to be told
Othello black devil with the “thickish lips”
People were behavin’ like he was legit
Impressed Desdemona with his battle testimony
With keen wit and skills that paid his army’s bills
He came to represizzle new European idizzle
Roderigo was the man
Who sold all his land
Trapped by Iago’s rap and his devious plan
Iago was the ensign who pilots the ship
Cassio the new lieutenant smart as a whip
Desdemona the daughter of noble Brabantio
Othello the great general and Bianca was a ho’
The whole thing started
When Desdemona departed
In the dead of the dark Venetian homies yell “hark!”
When Iago found out
He let out a shout
All the Venetians homies gotta put down their stouts
From atop his stoop
Brabantio screamed for his troops
To go and find Othello who was tryin’ to scoop
The genius villain
Seemingly chillen’
Made pop so tight
On that dark summer night
Iago on the sly yo’
He be feelin’ all right
Brabantio found Iago’s words absurd
The images he heard made him curious and furious
Even though he dismissed Iago’s talk as wack
He knew his daughter and the moor
Were making beast with two backs
Iago make me draw my sword/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me forsake my word//Up in here, up in here
Iago make me lose my wife/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me take my life/Up in here, up in here
Brabantio thought the whole thing was tragic
That his pure white girl got tricked by dark magic
The Duke of Venice stepped in
Said love should win
Besides the Turks had invaded Cyprus and their troops were thin
Send the Moor
Along Cassio, Iago, Desdemona, and Bianca the whore
So the whole crew got summoned
Gonna fight the good fight
Othello told Iago to keep Desdemona in sight
Enter Michael Cassio
The lady lovin’ bachelor
Fresh from getting picked for the job Iago was after
Upon arrival in Venice
Cassio gave Desdemona a kiss
Iago was lucky that he didn’t miss this
The ensign looked on
And said “A Yo it’s on”
He had a knight, a queen, the rook, and now a pawn
Trap was set
Iago waited
His angry little pet revenge would soon be sated
Iago make me draw my sword/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me forsake my word//Up in here, up in here
Iago make me lose my wife/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me take my life/Up in here, up in here
Cassio was a gentlemen and everyone knew this
Honest Iago realized that Othello was clueless
“Act with duty” said Iago about his murderous plan
“Only heaven can judge me”
I just have to frame this man
He set about to snare our newly married pair
And whispered poisonous lies in Othello’s ear
Blatant lies meant to hide his libelous smears
‘gainst poor noble Cassio who suspected nothing was weird
Honest Iago needed a symbol to break the shell
To make Othello jealous and drive him to hell
Just as he thought that the moments came
Othello held his head in agony and pain
Desdemona gave her napkin to aid his strife
She the caring, attentive, beautiful, loving wife
It didn’t work
The pain, it stayed
And the frustrated general knocked it away from his dome
Along comes Emilia to give it a home
Iago make me draw my sword/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me forsake my word//Up in here, up in here
Iago make me lose my wife/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me take my life/Up in here, up in here
In this story of old
We watch the plan unfold
The handkerchief is the symbol for the mind that is nimble
It would make Cassio look bad
If it was found in his pad
Iago schemes faster because he is chaos’ master
An agent of intrigue
This prince of disaster
To Othello he said, “Hello!”
Which made it seem that a man on his team
Was doing Othello’s manly duties
Except more obscene
Iago scheduled a meeting so that Othello could witness
Evidence of infidelity of course Othello wouldn’t miss this
So in front of the moor
He summoned the whore
This is the drama as it unfolds in scene 1 act 4
So Iago’s plan was brilliant and psychological
This supposedly honest Iago was diabolically psychotical
He made Cassio confess that Bianca loved him
Which made Cassio giggle (as if he’d be her husband!)
She’s a whore after all!
And while we had a blast
If I sleep with her I’d probably get a rash!
Othello, of course, his anger cookin’
Heard the whole convo’ but he was mistook’n
Thinking Desdemona had cuckolded him he plotted revenge
Cassio left and Iago then suggested
It was Desdemona, after all, that Cassio molested
“I’ll poison her!” bellowed Othello
But honest Iago made it clear he had another intention
Iago make me draw my sword/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me forsake my word//Up in here, up in here
Iago make me lose my wife/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me take my life/Up in here, up in here
Iago got Roderigo to go after big Mike
In the alley they waited like thieves in the night
Roderigo drew blood but only got nicked
In the clash of swords Iago stabbed Roderigo in his kicks
He howled in pain as Cassio got away
And Iago snuck off without a word to say
The ensign put on some jammies and returned to the scene
Finished Roderigo off with a stab to the spleen
Now everyone’s gone that knew the score
But Iago wanted to off a few characters more
Back at the crib Emilia discovered the quarrel
Othello was sick and was spittin’ immoral
Calling his wife a ho that she would sink so low as to bedding Cassio
She tried to pray but Othello wouldn’t have it
He saw the pillow to his left, reached out and grabbed it
With his bare hands he snuffed out her breath
Emilia stumbled in and witnessed her death
Just then the guards entered with Iago the ensign
The plays about to end, the fates predestined
Iago tried to lie but Emilia knew the truth
Until he drew a blade and silenced the proof
By then it was too lateThe knowledge was out there
Othello finally realized fate had decided
He took out a knife and ended his life
Final image, the embrace between the moor and his wife
Othello and Desdemona
Laying dead on the marriage bed
Looks like honest Iago may be off his meds
No more Ram tuppin’ the pure white lamb
Can’t be half-steppin’ in Cyprus land
Iago make me draw my sword/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me forsake my word//Up in here, up in here
Iago make me lose my wife/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me take my life/Up in here, up in here
It is used with permission and gratitude!
Iago make me draw my sword/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me forsake my word//Up in here, up in here
Iago make me lose my wife/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me take my life/Up in here, up in here
Once upon a time not long ago
Lived a Moorish soldier with a tale to be told
Othello black devil with the “thickish lips”
People were behavin’ like he was legit
Impressed Desdemona with his battle testimony
With keen wit and skills that paid his army’s bills
He came to represizzle new European idizzle
Roderigo was the man
Who sold all his land
Trapped by Iago’s rap and his devious plan
Iago was the ensign who pilots the ship
Cassio the new lieutenant smart as a whip
Desdemona the daughter of noble Brabantio
Othello the great general and Bianca was a ho’
The whole thing started
When Desdemona departed
In the dead of the dark Venetian homies yell “hark!”
When Iago found out
He let out a shout
All the Venetians homies gotta put down their stouts
From atop his stoop
Brabantio screamed for his troops
To go and find Othello who was tryin’ to scoop
The genius villain
Seemingly chillen’
Made pop so tight
On that dark summer night
Iago on the sly yo’
He be feelin’ all right
Brabantio found Iago’s words absurd
The images he heard made him curious and furious
Even though he dismissed Iago’s talk as wack
He knew his daughter and the moor
Were making beast with two backs
Iago make me draw my sword/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me forsake my word//Up in here, up in here
Iago make me lose my wife/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me take my life/Up in here, up in here
Brabantio thought the whole thing was tragic
That his pure white girl got tricked by dark magic
The Duke of Venice stepped in
Said love should win
Besides the Turks had invaded Cyprus and their troops were thin
Send the Moor
Along Cassio, Iago, Desdemona, and Bianca the whore
So the whole crew got summoned
Gonna fight the good fight
Othello told Iago to keep Desdemona in sight
Enter Michael Cassio
The lady lovin’ bachelor
Fresh from getting picked for the job Iago was after
Upon arrival in Venice
Cassio gave Desdemona a kiss
Iago was lucky that he didn’t miss this
The ensign looked on
And said “A Yo it’s on”
He had a knight, a queen, the rook, and now a pawn
Trap was set
Iago waited
His angry little pet revenge would soon be sated
Iago make me draw my sword/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me forsake my word//Up in here, up in here
Iago make me lose my wife/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me take my life/Up in here, up in here
Cassio was a gentlemen and everyone knew this
Honest Iago realized that Othello was clueless
“Act with duty” said Iago about his murderous plan
“Only heaven can judge me”
I just have to frame this man
He set about to snare our newly married pair
And whispered poisonous lies in Othello’s ear
Blatant lies meant to hide his libelous smears
‘gainst poor noble Cassio who suspected nothing was weird
Honest Iago needed a symbol to break the shell
To make Othello jealous and drive him to hell
Just as he thought that the moments came
Othello held his head in agony and pain
Desdemona gave her napkin to aid his strife
She the caring, attentive, beautiful, loving wife
It didn’t work
The pain, it stayed
And the frustrated general knocked it away from his dome
Along comes Emilia to give it a home
Iago make me draw my sword/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me forsake my word//Up in here, up in here
Iago make me lose my wife/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me take my life/Up in here, up in here
In this story of old
We watch the plan unfold
The handkerchief is the symbol for the mind that is nimble
It would make Cassio look bad
If it was found in his pad
Iago schemes faster because he is chaos’ master
An agent of intrigue
This prince of disaster
To Othello he said, “Hello!”
Which made it seem that a man on his team
Was doing Othello’s manly duties
Except more obscene
Iago scheduled a meeting so that Othello could witness
Evidence of infidelity of course Othello wouldn’t miss this
So in front of the moor
He summoned the whore
This is the drama as it unfolds in scene 1 act 4
So Iago’s plan was brilliant and psychological
This supposedly honest Iago was diabolically psychotical
He made Cassio confess that Bianca loved him
Which made Cassio giggle (as if he’d be her husband!)
She’s a whore after all!
And while we had a blast
If I sleep with her I’d probably get a rash!
Othello, of course, his anger cookin’
Heard the whole convo’ but he was mistook’n
Thinking Desdemona had cuckolded him he plotted revenge
Cassio left and Iago then suggested
It was Desdemona, after all, that Cassio molested
“I’ll poison her!” bellowed Othello
But honest Iago made it clear he had another intention
Iago make me draw my sword/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me forsake my word//Up in here, up in here
Iago make me lose my wife/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me take my life/Up in here, up in here
Iago got Roderigo to go after big Mike
In the alley they waited like thieves in the night
Roderigo drew blood but only got nicked
In the clash of swords Iago stabbed Roderigo in his kicks
He howled in pain as Cassio got away
And Iago snuck off without a word to say
The ensign put on some jammies and returned to the scene
Finished Roderigo off with a stab to the spleen
Now everyone’s gone that knew the score
But Iago wanted to off a few characters more
Back at the crib Emilia discovered the quarrel
Othello was sick and was spittin’ immoral
Calling his wife a ho that she would sink so low as to bedding Cassio
She tried to pray but Othello wouldn’t have it
He saw the pillow to his left, reached out and grabbed it
With his bare hands he snuffed out her breath
Emilia stumbled in and witnessed her death
Just then the guards entered with Iago the ensign
The plays about to end, the fates predestined
Iago tried to lie but Emilia knew the truth
Until he drew a blade and silenced the proof
By then it was too lateThe knowledge was out there
Othello finally realized fate had decided
He took out a knife and ended his life
Final image, the embrace between the moor and his wife
Othello and Desdemona
Laying dead on the marriage bed
Looks like honest Iago may be off his meds
No more Ram tuppin’ the pure white lamb
Can’t be half-steppin’ in Cyprus land
Iago make me draw my sword/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me forsake my word//Up in here, up in here
Iago make me lose my wife/Up in here, up in here
Iago make me take my life/Up in here, up in here
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Special Tuesday edition ... Breaking News!
Today’s post is brought to you by the Democratic party, never before has a political conglomerate spent so much time and energy talking about what they would do if only they had complete control of the American Government only to actually get it and so completely implode upon itself. Watching these morons govern is like watching Greg Norman melt down at the 1996 Masters, Scott Norwood miss the Super Bowl winner, Bill Buckner lose game 6 through his legs, and the 1984 Hurricanes blow that 31-0 halftime lead against Maryland all at once. You can't even get your own people to vote for your crummy laws without paying them billions in perpetuity.
So now enough of the ranting of a malcontent, and on to the breaking news ... this morning around 10am there was an earthquake in the Cayman Islands that registered a 5.8 on the Richter scale. There are no damage reports yet but as your #1 source for news i felt obligated to do some research and found that in 1794 King George III decreed that the Caymans would never be conscripted into military service and Parliament legislated that they would never be taxed. So clearly the Caymans also made a deal with the Devil and have gotten their 200 year-in-wait comeuppance. Or it is also possible that the fault line that runs through the Carribean is experiencing the effects of global plate tectonics. Well, it's one or the other.
And yet MORE breaking news ... ok, i looked, there's not much else going on but the election in Massachusetts and of course the Haiti relief effort ... OH! there is one thing. The people of Chile elected a right wing billionaire to be their new president. It's big news because the old left wing billionaire that was president was really popular and could not run again because of term limits. So that's exciting. Although the poor people of Chile will still be poor tomorrow i suppose.
Happy Tuesday.
So now enough of the ranting of a malcontent, and on to the breaking news ... this morning around 10am there was an earthquake in the Cayman Islands that registered a 5.8 on the Richter scale. There are no damage reports yet but as your #1 source for news i felt obligated to do some research and found that in 1794 King George III decreed that the Caymans would never be conscripted into military service and Parliament legislated that they would never be taxed. So clearly the Caymans also made a deal with the Devil and have gotten their 200 year-in-wait comeuppance. Or it is also possible that the fault line that runs through the Carribean is experiencing the effects of global plate tectonics. Well, it's one or the other.
And yet MORE breaking news ... ok, i looked, there's not much else going on but the election in Massachusetts and of course the Haiti relief effort ... OH! there is one thing. The people of Chile elected a right wing billionaire to be their new president. It's big news because the old left wing billionaire that was president was really popular and could not run again because of term limits. So that's exciting. Although the poor people of Chile will still be poor tomorrow i suppose.
Happy Tuesday.
Do all Religions Disagree and have Hypocrites?
This Monday post is brought to you by ... oh my goodness i'm about to open a can that should stay closed ... my Gram always told me, "Never talk about two things, religion and politics." I have spent most of my life talking exclusively about those two things and have gotten nothing out of it other than a reputation as a person that you'd probably rather not talk to. But here we go. I got a question two posts ago about wether or not other religions have differing opinions and do they in fact differ to the extreme that people who consider themselves of that religion practice and preach the anthesis of the actual religion (i.e.. Pat Robertson). So i'm going to try to dissect the worlds major religious traditions and find out if they are a hypocritical as Christianity.
1. Step One: What are the major religions of the world? I figured i knew but i looked it up anyway. Turns out i was wrong. My list was; Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hindu, Buddhism and whatever it is they do in Japan. It just so happens that there is a religion called Sikhism that has many more followers than Judaism, the largest religion in the world may be tribal idol worship, there are over a billion Atheists and i'm still not exactly sure what they do in Japan. In order to avoid making this a book on comparative religious studies, i'm not even going to find out what Sikhism and the Japanese thing are, i assure you this is not from prejudice but from sheer laziness on my part. So the very incorrect and unofficial list are Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism and Hindu.
Step Two: Christians who go against the teachings of Christ and reach positions of prominence. There are too many to even list. I may know this because i live where they live or i may know this because there are countless hucksters that prey on the faith of Christians. Usually it seems to revolve around "send me lots of money and Jesus will love you more". The Catholic church really started this idea in the early middle ages and it is now the largest land owner in the world and it has its own country (well done there). The protestant sects have picked up on the idea in the TV age and started with "send me money" and have evolved into a new idea where they preach a message that has nothing to do with Jesus and get you to like them for free and then get famous and sell books to people who are not real followers of the Christian teachings but can read a watered down, "Christ less", bastardized version of the prosperity gospel concept and feel good about themselves because the TV preacher told them that God loves them and wants them to be rich. The only one getting rich in this scenario is the guy writing the books (yes, you Joel Osteen) and there is no Jesus so that's kinda bad. Also worth mentioning is Pat Robertson and the doomsday brigade who believe in a god who hates everyone and makes things happen to kill them and the end of the world is always tomorrow and again there is no Jesus in any of that, so that is also bad.
Lots of Christian sects disagree about stuff but still believe in the message and divinity of Christ so for the sake of simplicity we'll say that their differences are really unimportant. I know that you're going to say that they've been killing each other for a thousand years over those "unimportant differences" and i'm going to argue that in most cases someone was using differences that were unimportant to achieve political gains and therefore do not count. So, check the Christian box for having people who preach against the core beliefs of the religion and still become prominent within the religion. But we knew that and knowing it was the catalyst of this discussion.
Step Three: Jews who preach against their core beliefs and rise to prominence. Although i know many Jewish people and have been to more bot/batmitvas that i have confirmation parties, the Jews that i know aren't devout and don't talk about religion and are really no help to me on this, also working against me here is the fact that the Jewish faith doesn't lend itself to preaching much of anything to us gentiles and so there's not a ton of examples. So here's the best i could do without doing any actual work; a long time ago there were two main sects of Judaism that co-existed and did not agree, the Sadducees and the Pharacies. One believed only in the written Word of God and the other believed in that and also the Holy oral tradition of the Jewish people. One was more political and the other more spiritual. Today there are many sects of Judaism; Orthodox, Conservative, Progressive, Humanistic and Messianic. The first three are similar but do differ in the interpretation of the rules of personal conduct (dress, diet, holy day observance, etc) The second two are exactly what we were looking for. The Humanistic Jews don't believe in God ... which is odd since the entire concept of Judaism revolves around being the chosen people of God, and if He does not exist they would be the chosen people of nothing and their entire history would be a bunch of persecution followed by deliverance by ... nobody. The Messianic Jews are equally at odds with their religion because they believe that Jesus was in fact the messiah (savior, Son of God, Christ) but don't profess to be Christians. This does not seem to fit together because the Jews are waiting for the coming messiah and if he was already here 2000 years ago the entire faith would have to be redefined. So although i have not researched enough to find examples of people who preach these concepts, they do exist and are at odds with the faith that they claim to be part of. And with that i'm checking the Jew's box too, even if their contradictors aren't as loud or dishonestly wealthy.
Step Four: Muslims who go against the teachings of Mohammed and reach positions of prominence. I did a bunch of research on this and i was going to tell you all about the discord within Islam and then it hit me. Mohammed promoted peace and telling teenagers to blow them selves up and kill innocent "infidels" is in direct conflict with everything Islam. I don't know for sure but i'm pretty sure that forming a theocratic regime and killing the citizens of that country for disagreeing with the iron-fisted government ruled by Islamic clerics is not exactly text book Koran following either. So, we check the Islam box twice, once for hypocrites and once for stupid violence.
Step Five: Hindu's who go against the teachings of ... um ... Hinduism. For starters they are trying to eradicate the caste system which is a basic tenet of their faith where by certain people are excluded from society because they behaved poorly in their past life and are also pacified with the "knowledge" that if they are really good at being completely excluded from everything (eating?) next time around things will be better, they might get to be a cow, or a person with food. There are four major sects of Hinduism but they are not very fun, in fact, "there is a healthy cross-pollination of ideas and logical debate that serves to refine each school's philosophy. It is not uncommon, or disallowed, for an individual to follow one school but take the point of view of another school for a certain issue." And we combine with that very un-religious cooperation and sanity with the fact that their teachings are not at all cohesive and barely coherent as a single faith ( i do know that Ganesha is an elephant and that Krishna is the super cool uber-god) and someone is not going to get their box checked. Way to go Hindus, you ruined our perfect streak of hypocrisy! (side note: when Robert Oppenheimer witnessed the first atomic bomb test he quoted the Bagavagita which is a sacred Hindu text "I am become death, the maker and destroyer of worlds" there is no evidence of it, but i think he let out an evil cackle after saying it.)
Step Six: Buddhists. Deep breath, here we go. I think that Buddhism is the most misunderstood religion in the world and we've seen glimpses of that and brushed them aside. The picture is of the quiet little Asian man living in a monastery wearing an orange robe and chanting and being peaceful and stuff ... and the Dali Lama who is cool because he laughs funny and is friends with Richard Gere. Anyway, try to justify that whole thing with the pictures you've seen of the monks in Vietnam lighting themselves on fire in the streets in protest of war. Peaceful solitude and self immolation do not go together, there is no passion in peaceful solitude and nothing in the world takes more passion then pouring gasoline on yourself and lighting a match to make a statement. So are there people going against the teachings of Buddha? What did he teach? Basically the eight fold path which is: 1. viewing reality as it is, not just as it appears to be. 2. intention of renunciation, freedom and harmlessness. 3. ethics or morality, or abstention from unwholesome deeds. 4. speaking in a truthful and non-hurtful way 5. acting in a non-harmful way 6. a non-harmful livelihood 7. mental discipline required to develop mastery over one’s own mind. This is done through the practice of various contemplative and meditative practices 8. making an effort to improve 9. awareness to see things for what they are with clear consciousness, being aware of the present reality within oneself, without any craving or aversion 10. correct meditation or concentration, explained as the first four jhāanash. Now ... doesn't that make sense, i know, it's complicated ... for example how can an 8 fold path have 10 steps? I don't know. But the Buddhists get a check as well due to the one and only Dorje Shugden. "Who?", you ask. He is a living Buddhist deity, reincarnated from some Lama guy and worshiped in Tibet as the guardian angel of Dharma ... the Dali Lama used to like him and in 1996 changed his mind ... now he does not like him, in fact the Dalai Lama stated during Buddhist Tantric initiation that Shugden was 'an evil spirit' whose actions were detrimental to the 'cause of Tibet'. The Dalai Lama concluded that henceforth he would not give Tantric initiation to worshipers of Shugden, since "the unbridgeable divergence of their respective positions would inevitably undermine the sacred guru-student relationship, and thus compromise his role as a teacher (and by extension his health)." Check mark for you Buddhism!
So i hope that clears all that up and it all makes sense now, only the Hindus don't get a check and that's only because their entire religion seems to be a "do what you want, worship who you want" kind of thing, that don't have a strong opinion on much except that they hate Pakistan. Happy Monday!
1. Step One: What are the major religions of the world? I figured i knew but i looked it up anyway. Turns out i was wrong. My list was; Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hindu, Buddhism and whatever it is they do in Japan. It just so happens that there is a religion called Sikhism that has many more followers than Judaism, the largest religion in the world may be tribal idol worship, there are over a billion Atheists and i'm still not exactly sure what they do in Japan. In order to avoid making this a book on comparative religious studies, i'm not even going to find out what Sikhism and the Japanese thing are, i assure you this is not from prejudice but from sheer laziness on my part. So the very incorrect and unofficial list are Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism and Hindu.
Step Two: Christians who go against the teachings of Christ and reach positions of prominence. There are too many to even list. I may know this because i live where they live or i may know this because there are countless hucksters that prey on the faith of Christians. Usually it seems to revolve around "send me lots of money and Jesus will love you more". The Catholic church really started this idea in the early middle ages and it is now the largest land owner in the world and it has its own country (well done there). The protestant sects have picked up on the idea in the TV age and started with "send me money" and have evolved into a new idea where they preach a message that has nothing to do with Jesus and get you to like them for free and then get famous and sell books to people who are not real followers of the Christian teachings but can read a watered down, "Christ less", bastardized version of the prosperity gospel concept and feel good about themselves because the TV preacher told them that God loves them and wants them to be rich. The only one getting rich in this scenario is the guy writing the books (yes, you Joel Osteen) and there is no Jesus so that's kinda bad. Also worth mentioning is Pat Robertson and the doomsday brigade who believe in a god who hates everyone and makes things happen to kill them and the end of the world is always tomorrow and again there is no Jesus in any of that, so that is also bad.
Lots of Christian sects disagree about stuff but still believe in the message and divinity of Christ so for the sake of simplicity we'll say that their differences are really unimportant. I know that you're going to say that they've been killing each other for a thousand years over those "unimportant differences" and i'm going to argue that in most cases someone was using differences that were unimportant to achieve political gains and therefore do not count. So, check the Christian box for having people who preach against the core beliefs of the religion and still become prominent within the religion. But we knew that and knowing it was the catalyst of this discussion.
Step Three: Jews who preach against their core beliefs and rise to prominence. Although i know many Jewish people and have been to more bot/batmitvas that i have confirmation parties, the Jews that i know aren't devout and don't talk about religion and are really no help to me on this, also working against me here is the fact that the Jewish faith doesn't lend itself to preaching much of anything to us gentiles and so there's not a ton of examples. So here's the best i could do without doing any actual work; a long time ago there were two main sects of Judaism that co-existed and did not agree, the Sadducees and the Pharacies. One believed only in the written Word of God and the other believed in that and also the Holy oral tradition of the Jewish people. One was more political and the other more spiritual. Today there are many sects of Judaism; Orthodox, Conservative, Progressive, Humanistic and Messianic. The first three are similar but do differ in the interpretation of the rules of personal conduct (dress, diet, holy day observance, etc) The second two are exactly what we were looking for. The Humanistic Jews don't believe in God ... which is odd since the entire concept of Judaism revolves around being the chosen people of God, and if He does not exist they would be the chosen people of nothing and their entire history would be a bunch of persecution followed by deliverance by ... nobody. The Messianic Jews are equally at odds with their religion because they believe that Jesus was in fact the messiah (savior, Son of God, Christ) but don't profess to be Christians. This does not seem to fit together because the Jews are waiting for the coming messiah and if he was already here 2000 years ago the entire faith would have to be redefined. So although i have not researched enough to find examples of people who preach these concepts, they do exist and are at odds with the faith that they claim to be part of. And with that i'm checking the Jew's box too, even if their contradictors aren't as loud or dishonestly wealthy.
Step Four: Muslims who go against the teachings of Mohammed and reach positions of prominence. I did a bunch of research on this and i was going to tell you all about the discord within Islam and then it hit me. Mohammed promoted peace and telling teenagers to blow them selves up and kill innocent "infidels" is in direct conflict with everything Islam. I don't know for sure but i'm pretty sure that forming a theocratic regime and killing the citizens of that country for disagreeing with the iron-fisted government ruled by Islamic clerics is not exactly text book Koran following either. So, we check the Islam box twice, once for hypocrites and once for stupid violence.
Step Five: Hindu's who go against the teachings of ... um ... Hinduism. For starters they are trying to eradicate the caste system which is a basic tenet of their faith where by certain people are excluded from society because they behaved poorly in their past life and are also pacified with the "knowledge" that if they are really good at being completely excluded from everything (eating?) next time around things will be better, they might get to be a cow, or a person with food. There are four major sects of Hinduism but they are not very fun, in fact, "there is a healthy cross-pollination of ideas and logical debate that serves to refine each school's philosophy. It is not uncommon, or disallowed, for an individual to follow one school but take the point of view of another school for a certain issue." And we combine with that very un-religious cooperation and sanity with the fact that their teachings are not at all cohesive and barely coherent as a single faith ( i do know that Ganesha is an elephant and that Krishna is the super cool uber-god) and someone is not going to get their box checked. Way to go Hindus, you ruined our perfect streak of hypocrisy! (side note: when Robert Oppenheimer witnessed the first atomic bomb test he quoted the Bagavagita which is a sacred Hindu text "I am become death, the maker and destroyer of worlds" there is no evidence of it, but i think he let out an evil cackle after saying it.)
Step Six: Buddhists. Deep breath, here we go. I think that Buddhism is the most misunderstood religion in the world and we've seen glimpses of that and brushed them aside. The picture is of the quiet little Asian man living in a monastery wearing an orange robe and chanting and being peaceful and stuff ... and the Dali Lama who is cool because he laughs funny and is friends with Richard Gere. Anyway, try to justify that whole thing with the pictures you've seen of the monks in Vietnam lighting themselves on fire in the streets in protest of war. Peaceful solitude and self immolation do not go together, there is no passion in peaceful solitude and nothing in the world takes more passion then pouring gasoline on yourself and lighting a match to make a statement. So are there people going against the teachings of Buddha? What did he teach? Basically the eight fold path which is: 1. viewing reality as it is, not just as it appears to be. 2. intention of renunciation, freedom and harmlessness. 3. ethics or morality, or abstention from unwholesome deeds. 4. speaking in a truthful and non-hurtful way 5. acting in a non-harmful way 6. a non-harmful livelihood 7. mental discipline required to develop mastery over one’s own mind. This is done through the practice of various contemplative and meditative practices 8. making an effort to improve 9. awareness to see things for what they are with clear consciousness, being aware of the present reality within oneself, without any craving or aversion 10. correct meditation or concentration, explained as the first four jhāanash. Now ... doesn't that make sense, i know, it's complicated ... for example how can an 8 fold path have 10 steps? I don't know. But the Buddhists get a check as well due to the one and only Dorje Shugden. "Who?", you ask. He is a living Buddhist deity, reincarnated from some Lama guy and worshiped in Tibet as the guardian angel of Dharma ... the Dali Lama used to like him and in 1996 changed his mind ... now he does not like him, in fact the Dalai Lama stated during Buddhist Tantric initiation that Shugden was 'an evil spirit' whose actions were detrimental to the 'cause of Tibet'. The Dalai Lama concluded that henceforth he would not give Tantric initiation to worshipers of Shugden, since "the unbridgeable divergence of their respective positions would inevitably undermine the sacred guru-student relationship, and thus compromise his role as a teacher (and by extension his health)." Check mark for you Buddhism!
So i hope that clears all that up and it all makes sense now, only the Hindus don't get a check and that's only because their entire religion seems to be a "do what you want, worship who you want" kind of thing, that don't have a strong opinion on much except that they hate Pakistan. Happy Monday!
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