Walking out of Lowe’s Home Improvement Mega-Super-Colossal-Wunder Store the other night after shopping for some paint. It was a damp night with a crescent moon in the sky, the clouds seemed especially low and were partially blocking the moon. Winky looked up at me and said, “Hey Dad, look at that!” while pulling on my arm.
Me- What Winks?
Winky- Up there!
Me- Where?
Winky- There! The moon.
Me- Yeah, there’s the moon. (I didn’t think much of it since spotting the moon has always been one of her favorite things)
Winky- There’s fuzz hanging off of it!
Me- (After about 20 seconds of laughing) Really?
Winky- Don’t you see it?
Me- Yeah, I see it. How do you think it got up there?
Winky- Um ... I think that somebody, um ... sent the fuzz to the north pole, you know, to Santa and then Santa put the fuzz in his sleigh and then the reindeer um ... flew it up there and Santa hung it off that pointy part.
Me- You think. (Trying not to laugh)
Winky- Is that how it got up there?
Me- I guess so. What’s the fluff made out of?
Winky- I think that it’s made out of flowers.
Me- Flowers?
Winky- Well ... like little pieces of flowers.
At this point, my lovely wife (check out her blog here ) chastised me for milking the kid to get material for a blog post ... which is NOT what I was doing ... well maybe a little, but she started the fuzz thing all by her self. My oldest daughter suggested that the fuzz might be made out of marshmallow fluff. We all laughed at that.
Winky- Yeah, it’s not flowers, it’s marshmallows! Good one Michaelia! Hey Dad?
Me- Yeah Winks?
Winky- Let’s go get ice cream!
Me- Ice cream?
Winky- Yeah, with marshmallows on it!
Me- Not tonight Winks, it’s a little cold for ice cream.
Winky- Tomorrow night?
Me- Maybe, we’ll see.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The Trail of Destrustion!
So, I went to the doctor’s today and found out that I had a sinus infection and bronchitis ... double yay! I made the appointment yesterday, he saw me today, checked me out and I was outta there with a ‘scrip in my hand in less that an hour ... I went to the pharmacy had my $120 antibiotic switched to a generic $30 antibiotic and left with 20 horse pills in less than an hour. Wow, what a terrible health care system we have.
Ok, yesterday I posted that there was a story about my daughters coming today and I’m sure you have all been on the edge of your seats for this one (at least any of you that know my children). For this particular story we will rename a certain child Sgt. Chaos and another little one Private First Class Destructo (any guesses?). Some time in the afternoon, while Mommy was busy cleaning on the other side of the house, Sgt. Chaos took Pfc. Destructo by the hand and led her into the bathroom. The heros of our story began to play a game that seemed to revolve around putting as much toilet paper as possible in to the sink (interrogations have been less than effective). Round two of the game seems to have been realizing that the sink was full at which time Sgt. Chaos decided that the thing to do was wash the T.P. down the drain. Seconds after turning on the faucet the soggy toilet paper clogged the sink and the water began overflowing onto the counter ... at which time our heros ran. A few minutes later, realizing the trouble was coming, Sgt. Chaos returned to the scene of the crime and attempted to clean up the flood with a washcloth. When the washcloth proved itself no match for Lake Bathroom, Sgt Chaos ran to Mommy and exclaimed, “Mommy, there’s been a terrible accident, come quick!” Both Sgt. Chaos and Pfc. Destructo claim that the other is entirely at fault and at press time the investigation is still on going.
Later in the afternoon the same two heros, realizing that they were thirsty (and not wanting to disturb their mother), decided to help themselves to some juice. The glasses are much too high for them to reach ... some furniture was moved ... two small children climbed up onto the kitchen counter ... a cabinet was opened ... and, thank God, it was only a glass that hurtled to the floor and shattered. The noise brought Mommy running and the guilty parties were caught red handed! Mommy then made Sgt. Chaos call her father and apologize for breaking his “favorite” glass. The ensuing phone call of hysterical tears and blubbering apology left me laughing out loud. So, with that one I’m just glad that noone died. Now I’m going to have to drive back to Washington DC to “Angelo and Maxie’s” to buy myself a new pint glass.
Tomorrow I’m back to work and I have to wonder, what in the world will my two little co-conspirators think up next?
Ok, yesterday I posted that there was a story about my daughters coming today and I’m sure you have all been on the edge of your seats for this one (at least any of you that know my children). For this particular story we will rename a certain child Sgt. Chaos and another little one Private First Class Destructo (any guesses?). Some time in the afternoon, while Mommy was busy cleaning on the other side of the house, Sgt. Chaos took Pfc. Destructo by the hand and led her into the bathroom. The heros of our story began to play a game that seemed to revolve around putting as much toilet paper as possible in to the sink (interrogations have been less than effective). Round two of the game seems to have been realizing that the sink was full at which time Sgt. Chaos decided that the thing to do was wash the T.P. down the drain. Seconds after turning on the faucet the soggy toilet paper clogged the sink and the water began overflowing onto the counter ... at which time our heros ran. A few minutes later, realizing the trouble was coming, Sgt. Chaos returned to the scene of the crime and attempted to clean up the flood with a washcloth. When the washcloth proved itself no match for Lake Bathroom, Sgt Chaos ran to Mommy and exclaimed, “Mommy, there’s been a terrible accident, come quick!” Both Sgt. Chaos and Pfc. Destructo claim that the other is entirely at fault and at press time the investigation is still on going.
Later in the afternoon the same two heros, realizing that they were thirsty (and not wanting to disturb their mother), decided to help themselves to some juice. The glasses are much too high for them to reach ... some furniture was moved ... two small children climbed up onto the kitchen counter ... a cabinet was opened ... and, thank God, it was only a glass that hurtled to the floor and shattered. The noise brought Mommy running and the guilty parties were caught red handed! Mommy then made Sgt. Chaos call her father and apologize for breaking his “favorite” glass. The ensuing phone call of hysterical tears and blubbering apology left me laughing out loud. So, with that one I’m just glad that noone died. Now I’m going to have to drive back to Washington DC to “Angelo and Maxie’s” to buy myself a new pint glass.
Tomorrow I’m back to work and I have to wonder, what in the world will my two little co-conspirators think up next?
Monday, February 22, 2010
Blogger lets down fans all over the World!
Sorry about the no friday post and the no monday post ... well, i guess this is like a monday post, except it's just an apology for there being no post ... so ... i don't know.
So here's the super quick (i'm supposed to be painting) version of what's going on. We have decided that it would be a good idea to move the kids beds all around and get some new furniture and remove wall paper and paint and clean and ... turn the house up side down. By "we decided" i mean that my lovely wife thought up this plan (which will be awesome when it's done) and pitched it to me and i said, "OK, if you want to." and it was thusly decided. It was a lot like the time "we decided" to paint horizontal stripes in the girls bathroom in three different colors and three different thicknesses (utter fiasco) and now the bathroom looks great (stripeless).
So the kids were all sick last week and are getting better (praise God), but now i have this evil sinus thing going on, and between being sick and taking care of sick kids and doing the home upgrades ... there has been no time for blogging. At some point tomorrow i will post a story about what two of my children did today ... i'm laughing just thinking about it. And on Wednesday there will be a new "Conversation with Winky". So that's my apology, my explaiation (spelled it so poorly i left it in) and my plan for the week all in one.
Happy Monday.
So here's the super quick (i'm supposed to be painting) version of what's going on. We have decided that it would be a good idea to move the kids beds all around and get some new furniture and remove wall paper and paint and clean and ... turn the house up side down. By "we decided" i mean that my lovely wife thought up this plan (which will be awesome when it's done) and pitched it to me and i said, "OK, if you want to." and it was thusly decided. It was a lot like the time "we decided" to paint horizontal stripes in the girls bathroom in three different colors and three different thicknesses (utter fiasco) and now the bathroom looks great (stripeless).
So the kids were all sick last week and are getting better (praise God), but now i have this evil sinus thing going on, and between being sick and taking care of sick kids and doing the home upgrades ... there has been no time for blogging. At some point tomorrow i will post a story about what two of my children did today ... i'm laughing just thinking about it. And on Wednesday there will be a new "Conversation with Winky". So that's my apology, my explaiation (spelled it so poorly i left it in) and my plan for the week all in one.
Happy Monday.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Liberals believe in Limited Government ... wait, it's not the 17th century, is it?
Liberalism (from the Latin liberalis, "of freedom") is the belief in the importance of individual liberty.
So, liberals support individual liberty in the face of monarchies ...the original incarnation of liberal philosophy dates back to the time of John Locke (the guy that Jefferson ripped off with his whole “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” thing).But, as we will prove, time changes all definitions. By the beginning of the 20th century, political liberalism had become the norm throughout the West, and economic liberalism had resulted in a vast concentration of wealth, with the majority of mankind living, as it always had, in a state of poverty. The economic world was shaken by a series of depressions. Freedom, which in the past had been threatened by autocratic governments, was now threatened by the despotism of the rich. Enter communists stage left ... to which the “liberal” response was to compromise, to use government to raise the poor out of the muck that made communism look so popular in the first place. And that takes us to the present day, where liberals support the “level playing field” concept at the expense of individual liberty.
Libertarianism is a political theory that advocates the maximization of individual liberty in thought and action.
The history of this one is much cloudier than “liberalism”, but there are libertarians that support anarchy, free market capitalism, socialism ... you name it. The term appears later than liberalism and I think, was created in response to the changing definition of liberalism. The people who believed in personal liberty had to find a new word to describe themselves because their original term got hijacked. And then this one got hijacked too. There is a faction of the libertarian movement that does not believe in private property ... there might even be a faction that does not believe in individual liberty ... but I have no proof of that.
Individualism - the moral stance, political philosophy, ideology, or social outlook that stresses "the moral worth of the individual. Individualists promote the exercise of one's goals and desires and so independence and self-reliance while opposing most external interference upon one's own interests, whether by society, or by any other group or institution.
I think that eventually the “tea party” people are going to grab hold of this one, they will name themselves the individualists, not because it is the best word to describe their beliefs, but because in fact they are Liberals whose name was stolen by their adversaries a few generations ago.
The idea behind all this is that, although often renamed, the belief that government’s role is to protect people’s God given rights (life, liberty, property) and little else, refuses to die. There have always been people who believed in the individual’s right to self determine and the individual’s responsibility to society. This doctrine requires two basic beliefs, God created us all (otherwise there are no universal rights) and that people will make altruistic choices without being forced to (otherwise individual liberty would be utter chaos). So, I guess I’m a Liberal, and a Libertarian ... I just don’t agree with anyone else who is a “liberal” or a “libertarian”. Definitions are fun. Can you re-hijack a word? I’d like to get Marxist and Communist back too if we’re going there. In my utopia, Liberals believe in individual liberty above all else, Marxists believe in a gradual change in the global economic system that ends with workers owning the means of production, Communists believe in small communities of people working together for the good of the group without a structured government and Anarchists wouldn’t throw bricks through store front windows ... hooray future!
So, liberals support individual liberty in the face of monarchies ...the original incarnation of liberal philosophy dates back to the time of John Locke (the guy that Jefferson ripped off with his whole “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” thing).But, as we will prove, time changes all definitions. By the beginning of the 20th century, political liberalism had become the norm throughout the West, and economic liberalism had resulted in a vast concentration of wealth, with the majority of mankind living, as it always had, in a state of poverty. The economic world was shaken by a series of depressions. Freedom, which in the past had been threatened by autocratic governments, was now threatened by the despotism of the rich. Enter communists stage left ... to which the “liberal” response was to compromise, to use government to raise the poor out of the muck that made communism look so popular in the first place. And that takes us to the present day, where liberals support the “level playing field” concept at the expense of individual liberty.
Libertarianism is a political theory that advocates the maximization of individual liberty in thought and action.
The history of this one is much cloudier than “liberalism”, but there are libertarians that support anarchy, free market capitalism, socialism ... you name it. The term appears later than liberalism and I think, was created in response to the changing definition of liberalism. The people who believed in personal liberty had to find a new word to describe themselves because their original term got hijacked. And then this one got hijacked too. There is a faction of the libertarian movement that does not believe in private property ... there might even be a faction that does not believe in individual liberty ... but I have no proof of that.
Individualism - the moral stance, political philosophy, ideology, or social outlook that stresses "the moral worth of the individual. Individualists promote the exercise of one's goals and desires and so independence and self-reliance while opposing most external interference upon one's own interests, whether by society, or by any other group or institution.
I think that eventually the “tea party” people are going to grab hold of this one, they will name themselves the individualists, not because it is the best word to describe their beliefs, but because in fact they are Liberals whose name was stolen by their adversaries a few generations ago.
The idea behind all this is that, although often renamed, the belief that government’s role is to protect people’s God given rights (life, liberty, property) and little else, refuses to die. There have always been people who believed in the individual’s right to self determine and the individual’s responsibility to society. This doctrine requires two basic beliefs, God created us all (otherwise there are no universal rights) and that people will make altruistic choices without being forced to (otherwise individual liberty would be utter chaos). So, I guess I’m a Liberal, and a Libertarian ... I just don’t agree with anyone else who is a “liberal” or a “libertarian”. Definitions are fun. Can you re-hijack a word? I’d like to get Marxist and Communist back too if we’re going there. In my utopia, Liberals believe in individual liberty above all else, Marxists believe in a gradual change in the global economic system that ends with workers owning the means of production, Communists believe in small communities of people working together for the good of the group without a structured government and Anarchists wouldn’t throw bricks through store front windows ... hooray future!
A Special, Tuesday Conversation with Winky
For those of you who know Winky ... this’ll probably make you laugh, for the rest of you, less fortunate souls, let this be the opportunity for you to get to know one of the great American geniuses of our generation. And some preemptive question answers:
1) Does she really talk like that? Yes.
2) Where does she come up with this stuff? I have no idea.
3) What do you say to her? Mostly, I laugh.
4) Is she really only 4? Yes.
Without further ado, this is an excerpt from a conversation with my daughter Winky while sitting in the car waiting for her baby sister to get a chest x-ray (came back negative!) Her older sister was also in the car. Winky took me on a stream of consciousness/ circular logic roller coaster ride in less than a minute.
Winky: Do you remember Valentine’s Day?
Me: Of course, it was yesterday.
Winky: You remember, at lunch, when I got to sit next to Brit-tany (that’s how she says Britany) and I really wanted to sit with Haley?
Me: You didn’t want to sit with Brit-tany? You love Brit-tany.
Winky: Daddy, I love Brit-tany more than Haley, and ... I love Haley more than Brit-tany, so ... and I love Ms. Sara more than Mr. Ron ...
Me: Is that so?
Winky: ... but I do love Mr. Ron.
Me: Oh
Winky: (without pausing from previous) Hey guys, I can go to PECI and you can’t.
Me: What?
Winky: Yeah, you can’t go there because you don’t have a name tag.
Me: What’s PECI?
Winky: You know, like ABC.
Me: What?
Winky: Daddy ... (exasperated sigh) you know your ABC’s.
Me: Yeah, I do.
Winky: Daddy?
Me: What’s up Winky?
Winky: You’re the best, daddy.
Me: Thanks Winks.
Winky: Can we go get some donuts? Not the chocolate ones, just the plain ones.
So that’s my girl ... she’s fantastic and all over the place.
Happy Tuesday!
1) Does she really talk like that? Yes.
2) Where does she come up with this stuff? I have no idea.
3) What do you say to her? Mostly, I laugh.
4) Is she really only 4? Yes.
Without further ado, this is an excerpt from a conversation with my daughter Winky while sitting in the car waiting for her baby sister to get a chest x-ray (came back negative!) Her older sister was also in the car. Winky took me on a stream of consciousness/ circular logic roller coaster ride in less than a minute.
Winky: Do you remember Valentine’s Day?
Me: Of course, it was yesterday.
Winky: You remember, at lunch, when I got to sit next to Brit-tany (that’s how she says Britany) and I really wanted to sit with Haley?
Me: You didn’t want to sit with Brit-tany? You love Brit-tany.
Winky: Daddy, I love Brit-tany more than Haley, and ... I love Haley more than Brit-tany, so ... and I love Ms. Sara more than Mr. Ron ...
Me: Is that so?
Winky: ... but I do love Mr. Ron.
Me: Oh
Winky: (without pausing from previous) Hey guys, I can go to PECI and you can’t.
Me: What?
Winky: Yeah, you can’t go there because you don’t have a name tag.
Me: What’s PECI?
Winky: You know, like ABC.
Me: What?
Winky: Daddy ... (exasperated sigh) you know your ABC’s.
Me: Yeah, I do.
Winky: Daddy?
Me: What’s up Winky?
Winky: You’re the best, daddy.
Me: Thanks Winks.
Winky: Can we go get some donuts? Not the chocolate ones, just the plain ones.
So that’s my girl ... she’s fantastic and all over the place.
Happy Tuesday!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Dresden, China and Global Warming
Today’s post is brought to you by Dresden, Germany where 12 civilians were killed when a missile missed it’s intended target in an assault on the Taliban this weekend. Ok, that’s completely false. I thought that we were fighting a war, so why is the top story on every news outlet that 12 Afghan civilians were killed by accident? If you’ve been reading this long, you know that I am opposed to the war ... but if you fight a war, people die, that’s how it works! This weekend is the 65th anniversary of the allied bombing raids on Dresden (a cultural center) where somewhere between 18,000 and 40,000 civilians died. Tens of thousands of people were burned to death on purpose as part of the military strategy, and 65 years later it is somehow unacceptable if our soldiers make any mistakes. They are well trained and well equipt and we have put them in harms way to defeat an invisible enemy and then we do not permit them to make a single error. If a bomb misses its target they are on the front page, if a 19 year old gets spooked while searching Baghdad houses in the middle of the night and pulls the trigger we drag him home, vilify him and try him for murder. War is horrendous, violent, brutal and messy ... there is nothing precise about it, there is nothing humane about it. If you want war then you must embrace the path of destruction it leaves in every village it touches, you must embrace the soldiers who come home broken and are discarded by our military, you must embrace the innocent who are killed, wounded and left homeless, fatherless, motherless ... it’s part and parcel to the war you want. If you oppose the war, then we need to end it by bringing our brave men and women home, out of harms way. What you can’t do is pretend that you are against war while waging war. You can’t be V.P. Biden and say that the Iraq war was not “managed well” and left us in danger while adding tens of thousand of troops on the ground in Afghanistan. I don’t think it was worth one of the 4,694 lives it cost, but the Iraq war was a success, our brave men and women in military defeated the enemy they were sent to defeat and a democratically elected government was left in a position to defend itself. All the objectives of that war were met and I commend our troops for the job they did there. I have watched two funeral processions already this year honoring Afghan war dead, 43 Americans have died there in less than two months ... war is horrible and we need to bring our men and women home, but short of that we need to support them in everything they do there ... we owe them that much ... we have sent them to die in a foreign nation, they are our brother’s and sisters and I love them.
And in “how do you like me now?” news, President Obama has decided to invite the Dali Lama to the White House, they will meet next week (China has demanded that the meeting not take place) and discuss how the United States can aggravate a country that holds billions of dollars of our national debt. The best way I can think of is to embrace a Tibetan in exile who travels the globe trash talking the Chinese government at every opportunity ... that ought to make them REAL happy. Lets find out what happens to our economy when China makes a margin call. We’ll become the Mortimer and Randolph Duke of the global economy ... sleeping on the street, begging Canada for some food. But at least the President will be serene after meeting “his holiness”.
Today we close with global climate change news ... yeah, we were just kidding about that whole global warming thing ... sorry. Professor Phil Jones, who is at the center of the “Climategate” affair, conceded that there has been no “statistically significant” rise in temperatures since 1995. “We concluded, with overwhelming statistical significance, that the IPCC’s climate data are contaminated with surface effects from industrialization and data quality problems. These add up to a large warming bias,” Basically they put the temperature collection devices in really stupid places, like next to air conditioning units or garbage incinerators ... so, while the globe is not warming ... it is warmer right next to an incinerator, good to know!
Happy Monday!
And in “how do you like me now?” news, President Obama has decided to invite the Dali Lama to the White House, they will meet next week (China has demanded that the meeting not take place) and discuss how the United States can aggravate a country that holds billions of dollars of our national debt. The best way I can think of is to embrace a Tibetan in exile who travels the globe trash talking the Chinese government at every opportunity ... that ought to make them REAL happy. Lets find out what happens to our economy when China makes a margin call. We’ll become the Mortimer and Randolph Duke of the global economy ... sleeping on the street, begging Canada for some food. But at least the President will be serene after meeting “his holiness”.
Today we close with global climate change news ... yeah, we were just kidding about that whole global warming thing ... sorry. Professor Phil Jones, who is at the center of the “Climategate” affair, conceded that there has been no “statistically significant” rise in temperatures since 1995. “We concluded, with overwhelming statistical significance, that the IPCC’s climate data are contaminated with surface effects from industrialization and data quality problems. These add up to a large warming bias,” Basically they put the temperature collection devices in really stupid places, like next to air conditioning units or garbage incinerators ... so, while the globe is not warming ... it is warmer right next to an incinerator, good to know!
Happy Monday!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Valentine's Day Sunday Post ... about love?
Let me start odd by apologizing to everyone who came to read the post on Friday ... that wasn’t here. Friday by beautiful bride and I celebrated Valentine’s Day, in part to avoid the crowds of today and also because we had a babysitter on Friday (thank you so much Maw-Maw). So, in keeping with the Valentine’s Day theme of the weekend ... where in the world did Valentine’s Day come from? There are hundreds of accounts of different St. Valentines doing all sorts of things, living in different places, at different times ... and all of them were killed for refusing to deny Christ to the Roman leadership. There was a very popular book of saints written in 1260 that briefly mentions the elusive saint. The very brief vita of St Valentine has him refusing to deny Christ before the "Emperor Claudius" in the year 280. This Valentine restored sight and hearing to the daughter of his jailer before his head was cut off. So that’s a cool story ... I guess. And it’s an old story ... eternally without details. The feast of St. Valentine was first established in 496 by Pope Gelasius I who included Valentine among those "... whose names are justly reverenced among men, but whose acts are known only to God ". Basically, in less than 200 years, the stories of the possibly fictional character of Valentine had become so imbedded in the Christian consciousness that he had to be mentioned, even if by mentioning him it had to be admitted that no one really knew anything about the martyr. It’s not a unique story, there were many, many Christian martyrs ... the Roman’s loved to kill Christians, so did the Jews and the Arabs ... they were everyone’s favorite target for a few hundred years, but what’s romantic about it? I am willing to admit that the idea of choosing to be put to death rather than denying your love for Christ is supremely romantic ... but not in the current incarnation of the word, not in a quiet candle light kind of way. It actually became a romantic holiday in a Geoffrey Chaucer story. In Parliament of Foules Chaucer presents a romantic holiday for lovers on Valentine’s Day as if it were an old tradition ... which it was not ... so it’s a complete product of fiction on both ends. If there were a single St. Valentine, there is no evidence to back it up, and it is in a work of fiction that it became the lover’s holiday. Not to say that there was not some need for such a day that was fulfilled by grasping on to February 14th ... and why not, it’s a good a day as any other for me to say,
ANGELA, I LOVE YOU!
See, it’s not just the Muslims and people from Texas that are totally insane and treat women like garbage ... here’s a Jew that is completely out of his mind. Goel Ratzon, an Israeli man accused of having 23 wives and fathering 59 children was charged Sunday in a Tel Aviv court with multiple counts of sexual assault, rape, sodomy and enslavement. Holy Crazy Batman! It’s a long story, so here’s the short version ... the guy is 60 years old and he forced his wives to tattoo his name and picture on their arm, cut off all ties with their families and friends, live in his “compound” and he convinced them he was omnipotent, able to heal or curse them. Sounds like a winner! The indictment includes allegations of rape and sodomy of two of his daughters, sexual assault of another daughter, and rape, assault and sodomy of four other girls. I was dying to know how he paid for all of this, the compound, the food for 82 dependants ... I figured he was independently wealthy ... I figured wrong. The loser sent his wives to work and took their money to finance his lifestyle. Ladies! What are you doing! Where did this guy find 23 women to go to work and give him money while he was at home raping their daughters? C’mon ladies couldn’t one of you castrated him 30 years ago?
That was romantic, wasn't it? And finally, the most romantic use of Youtube I could ever imagine. Conner Cordova is the bravest, most romantic, most creative Youtuber that ever could exist. After seeing Arianny Celeste carry the round card at a UFC event, the 17 year old decided that he wanted to take her to prom ... and how does a high school student get a famous model to go to the prom with him? The little genius made Youtube videos begging her to go with him and he got UFC fighters to appear in his videos, they all told her she should go with him, this created all kinds of “buzz” and forced her to respond. So she is going with him to the prom. Check out his video ****here**** it's hysterical!
ANGELA, I LOVE YOU!
See, it’s not just the Muslims and people from Texas that are totally insane and treat women like garbage ... here’s a Jew that is completely out of his mind. Goel Ratzon, an Israeli man accused of having 23 wives and fathering 59 children was charged Sunday in a Tel Aviv court with multiple counts of sexual assault, rape, sodomy and enslavement. Holy Crazy Batman! It’s a long story, so here’s the short version ... the guy is 60 years old and he forced his wives to tattoo his name and picture on their arm, cut off all ties with their families and friends, live in his “compound” and he convinced them he was omnipotent, able to heal or curse them. Sounds like a winner! The indictment includes allegations of rape and sodomy of two of his daughters, sexual assault of another daughter, and rape, assault and sodomy of four other girls. I was dying to know how he paid for all of this, the compound, the food for 82 dependants ... I figured he was independently wealthy ... I figured wrong. The loser sent his wives to work and took their money to finance his lifestyle. Ladies! What are you doing! Where did this guy find 23 women to go to work and give him money while he was at home raping their daughters? C’mon ladies couldn’t one of you castrated him 30 years ago?
That was romantic, wasn't it? And finally, the most romantic use of Youtube I could ever imagine. Conner Cordova is the bravest, most romantic, most creative Youtuber that ever could exist. After seeing Arianny Celeste carry the round card at a UFC event, the 17 year old decided that he wanted to take her to prom ... and how does a high school student get a famous model to go to the prom with him? The little genius made Youtube videos begging her to go with him and he got UFC fighters to appear in his videos, they all told her she should go with him, this created all kinds of “buzz” and forced her to respond. So she is going with him to the prom. Check out his video ****here**** it's hysterical!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
The lost earrings!
Happy Wednesday! Today we’re not going to do a news post ... mostly because I don’t feel like doing the research. So, let’s see if I can be lazy and entertain you anyway. Part one is a conversation between me and my 4 year old daughter, Winky, as best I can remember it. Part two is a short commentary about the partisan nonsense in Washington.
Me: Hey, Winks, where are your earrings?
Winky: I don’t know.
Me: Did you take them out?
Winky: Um ... (eyes roll up and search the ceiling for an answer) yes? Um ... (eyes return to normal) I lost them.
Me: Where did you take them out?
Winky: I think I lost them at school.
Me: On the play ground, or in class? Where were you when you took them out?
Winky: (Without hesitation) In Mommy’s bed.
Me: Did you leave them there or take them somewhere else?
Winky: I lost them in the bed ... I think.
Me: Who took them out?
Winky (eyes back to the ceiling) Mommy.
Me: (ignoring previous answer) So after you took them out in the bed, where did you put them?
Winky: I think I saw them get lost on the little table.
Me: So you put them on the bed side table?
Winky: No, Daddy! They got lost from the table.
Me: Why did you take them out?
Winky: They fell off and then they got lost.
Me: So, who took them out?
Winky: I don’t know.
Me: Where are they now?
Winky: They’re lost at school.
Me: Did you give them to one of the other kids?
Winky: (searching the ceiling) No, they got lost at home.
At this point I gave up ... it could’ve gone on forever like that, the earrings are still lost, I’m sure she knows right where they are, she holds up under questioning like James Bond.
Here’s how our allies do it (Germany, England, Israel) once legislators are elected the political parties form alliances with other parties and work to pass legislation. Here at home, it’s different. Once elected legislators do everything they can to make sure the other party does not achieve any of their objectives. “I can only win if you lose.” Zero-sum, time wasting nonsense! Political victory is not defined by reaching the finish line, it is defined by tripping the other runners so that they do not finish the race. And if noone reaches the finish line, then by definition, everyone loses. It has not always been this way, this type of childishness was once saved for the campaign trail. Once elected, both parties would work out their differences on an issue and come to some sort of compromise (I mean real compromise ... like when you sacrifice and the other guy sacrifices and you are left without the most extreme points from both sides. Our government was designed to work that way. It was designed to maintain the status quo, to exclude emotional fervor from the political landscape (that’s why only a third of the senate is elected every two years). So, the health care bill ... the Republicans want to reform the malpractice system and allow people to shop for insurance without regard for which state they live in. The Democrats want to cover every one in the country and can’t agree among themselves. So here’s the compromise ... TORT reform stays, portability stays, lose the oversight issues that scare Republicans and offer everyone health insurance. Forget 2,000 pages ... it’s my one page legislation.
Happy Wednesday!
Me: Hey, Winks, where are your earrings?
Winky: I don’t know.
Me: Did you take them out?
Winky: Um ... (eyes roll up and search the ceiling for an answer) yes? Um ... (eyes return to normal) I lost them.
Me: Where did you take them out?
Winky: I think I lost them at school.
Me: On the play ground, or in class? Where were you when you took them out?
Winky: (Without hesitation) In Mommy’s bed.
Me: Did you leave them there or take them somewhere else?
Winky: I lost them in the bed ... I think.
Me: Who took them out?
Winky (eyes back to the ceiling) Mommy.
Me: (ignoring previous answer) So after you took them out in the bed, where did you put them?
Winky: I think I saw them get lost on the little table.
Me: So you put them on the bed side table?
Winky: No, Daddy! They got lost from the table.
Me: Why did you take them out?
Winky: They fell off and then they got lost.
Me: So, who took them out?
Winky: I don’t know.
Me: Where are they now?
Winky: They’re lost at school.
Me: Did you give them to one of the other kids?
Winky: (searching the ceiling) No, they got lost at home.
At this point I gave up ... it could’ve gone on forever like that, the earrings are still lost, I’m sure she knows right where they are, she holds up under questioning like James Bond.
Here’s how our allies do it (Germany, England, Israel) once legislators are elected the political parties form alliances with other parties and work to pass legislation. Here at home, it’s different. Once elected legislators do everything they can to make sure the other party does not achieve any of their objectives. “I can only win if you lose.” Zero-sum, time wasting nonsense! Political victory is not defined by reaching the finish line, it is defined by tripping the other runners so that they do not finish the race. And if noone reaches the finish line, then by definition, everyone loses. It has not always been this way, this type of childishness was once saved for the campaign trail. Once elected, both parties would work out their differences on an issue and come to some sort of compromise (I mean real compromise ... like when you sacrifice and the other guy sacrifices and you are left without the most extreme points from both sides. Our government was designed to work that way. It was designed to maintain the status quo, to exclude emotional fervor from the political landscape (that’s why only a third of the senate is elected every two years). So, the health care bill ... the Republicans want to reform the malpractice system and allow people to shop for insurance without regard for which state they live in. The Democrats want to cover every one in the country and can’t agree among themselves. So here’s the compromise ... TORT reform stays, portability stays, lose the oversight issues that scare Republicans and offer everyone health insurance. Forget 2,000 pages ... it’s my one page legislation.
Happy Wednesday!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Snow and Earthquakes and Shooting People
Yesterday the New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl in their first ever appearance in the “big game” ending 40 years of misery for their fans ... most of their fans. True to form, someone decided that the best way to show their support was to discharge a firearm in the middle of a crowded intersection. Nothing says you love your team like destroying property and hurting people! The shootings occurred at about midnight, at the intersection of Iberville and Bourbon streets, in the Crescent City's French Quarter, authorities said in a statement and three Saints fans received gunshot wounds to their legs ... for them the misery continues, win or no win.
So, it snowed this weekend ... a lot. I will qualify all this by telling you that I was born and raised in the great north east (where the snow comes from) and find snow related histeria to be absolute foolishness. In Washington DC they have never seen snow ... I guess. The snow has shut down the Federal government. I read today that more than 200-thousand federal workers were told to stay home Monday as transportation remains paralyzed by snow and ice. Two hundred thousand!?! Did you know that there were that many people on the payroll? I didn’t. So what does the President do? (Mr. Shovel Ready) Did he call in an army of snow plows to get the thing opened up, bring in the salt trucks, cover the streets in sand? Um ... no. President Barack Obama called the storm "Snowmageddon" - a play on words combining "snow" and the apocalyptic event in the Bible known as "Armageddon." The inevitable end of the world. Nothing can be done, all you salary employees just take some time off and relax. I guess all that government stuff is as unimportant as I thought it was. Blizzards like that one would get an hour delay to the schools in upstate New York, maybe two hours. But in Washington, they can’t figure out what to do. Don’t worry, the snow will melt soon and that 200,000 strong group of the most uncreative problem solvers in the world will get right bact to solving all of our problems.
Controversy over the voter list in Ivory Coast is threatening to once again push back long-delayed presidential elections. Election-related protests erupted around Ivory Coast this past week. Ivorian investigators have confirmed evidence of "fraud" in the voter list for the country's upcoming presidential elections. “Fraud” in this case is nothing major, just a half a million registered voters who are not from the Ivory Coast ... what’s a few hundred thousand ineligible voters between friends? The current President of the Ivory Coast is Laurent Gbagbo ... who’s legal mandate to rule ended in 2005, but since they can’t seem to have an actual election he’s still the president. Cute. It’s been FIVE YEARS FOLKS! Get your act together! So where is the organization that $921 million of our tax dollars go to every year to handle this kind of stuff? Don’t worry, the UN peace keepers are on the job, they have “called for calm amid the protests” and they are “urging” the organization of elections as “soon as possible”. Well, good, at least someone is stepping in to move the process along.
A magnitude 5.7-earthquake shook southern Mexico near the Oaxaca coast today, setting off evacuation alarms and swaying buildings as far away as Mexico City. Please pray for the people there that the devastation and casualties will be minimal. There is no information yet, but I am hopeful that the people there will be OK.
So, it snowed this weekend ... a lot. I will qualify all this by telling you that I was born and raised in the great north east (where the snow comes from) and find snow related histeria to be absolute foolishness. In Washington DC they have never seen snow ... I guess. The snow has shut down the Federal government. I read today that more than 200-thousand federal workers were told to stay home Monday as transportation remains paralyzed by snow and ice. Two hundred thousand!?! Did you know that there were that many people on the payroll? I didn’t. So what does the President do? (Mr. Shovel Ready) Did he call in an army of snow plows to get the thing opened up, bring in the salt trucks, cover the streets in sand? Um ... no. President Barack Obama called the storm "Snowmageddon" - a play on words combining "snow" and the apocalyptic event in the Bible known as "Armageddon." The inevitable end of the world. Nothing can be done, all you salary employees just take some time off and relax. I guess all that government stuff is as unimportant as I thought it was. Blizzards like that one would get an hour delay to the schools in upstate New York, maybe two hours. But in Washington, they can’t figure out what to do. Don’t worry, the snow will melt soon and that 200,000 strong group of the most uncreative problem solvers in the world will get right bact to solving all of our problems.
Controversy over the voter list in Ivory Coast is threatening to once again push back long-delayed presidential elections. Election-related protests erupted around Ivory Coast this past week. Ivorian investigators have confirmed evidence of "fraud" in the voter list for the country's upcoming presidential elections. “Fraud” in this case is nothing major, just a half a million registered voters who are not from the Ivory Coast ... what’s a few hundred thousand ineligible voters between friends? The current President of the Ivory Coast is Laurent Gbagbo ... who’s legal mandate to rule ended in 2005, but since they can’t seem to have an actual election he’s still the president. Cute. It’s been FIVE YEARS FOLKS! Get your act together! So where is the organization that $921 million of our tax dollars go to every year to handle this kind of stuff? Don’t worry, the UN peace keepers are on the job, they have “called for calm amid the protests” and they are “urging” the organization of elections as “soon as possible”. Well, good, at least someone is stepping in to move the process along.
A magnitude 5.7-earthquake shook southern Mexico near the Oaxaca coast today, setting off evacuation alarms and swaying buildings as far away as Mexico City. Please pray for the people there that the devastation and casualties will be minimal. There is no information yet, but I am hopeful that the people there will be OK.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Sgt. Daniel Angus, I love you and mourn your loss.
I never met the good Sargent, i have never even seen a picture of him. "The 28-year-old career Marine died Jan. 24 while on foot patrol in the Helmand province in Afghanistan when an improvised explosive device detonated. The explosion also killed two other Marines. Angus, who grew up in Thonotosassa, was on his third tour of duty in Afghanistan and Iraq. The 2000 graduate of Armwood High School was promoted to sergeant in 2007. He had been awarded the Combat Action Ribbon, two Good Conduct Medals, the Afghanistan Campaign Medal, the Iraq Campaign Medal, the Global War on Terrorism Service Medal and a number of service decorations. He is survived by his wife, Bonnie, and daughter, Kaitlyn." Here is a young man whose funeral procession came by me, the street was shut off for him, we stood on the side of the road, we watched him go by, the police, the hearse, the family, the friends, the endless marines on motorcycles ... and the last police cars. I wondered to myself how quickly every one would forget him, how many of us that stood there were unaffected. I was struck by the pointlessness of it. Here is a young man, willing to travel to the ends of the earth in service of his country, and he is dead. He returned home to a hero's welcome, people stopped for a moment and waved a flag, there was a procession to the burial site, he was laid in the ground, 21 shots were fired and he was buried. His widow was handed a folded flag. His daughter will never know her father except from stories. He is a hero, he risked his life, bravely and with honor, he was selfless and he died on a foreign battlefield. Somehow the 21 gun salute, the folded flag and the 1 minute parade ring hollow. He died with two other Marines whose names i do not know, and i want to know how many more of the greatest of my countrymen will be sent to die? Eventually we will leave Afghanistan (as the English and the Russians did) eventually we will leave the unchanged wilderness behind, the violent tribalism and drug trafficking will continue unabated, the Taliban (or something like it) will rise from the ashes and rule Kabul with the iron fist of Shurria ... so how many more of the bravest of us, of the least selfish of us have to die first? So Sgt. Daniel Angus i salute you as a great American, i mourn your loss and we all should. You, who were willing to give the ultimate sacrifice for me and for my family, deserved a mission worth dying for. All of you who serve deserve only to be sent to fight when your heart is being honored, that you are all willing to go and fight and die is something that can not be taken lightly. As commander in chief i send you to achieve goals that only you can, that benefit the world for generations, you go to stop aggressors and destroy tyranny, i could not, in good conscience send you to build a nation where none has ever stood, risking your life every minute you are on the ground.
Yesterday i saluted the casket of a hero, today i mourn his loss .. the words of John Donne seem to fit so well. "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee" with every soldier slain on the field of battle and with every widow at home, part of me dies. I weep for you Sargent and i weep for your widow and i weep for your daughter and i weep for us all. I pray for your comrades safety and their rapid return.
Memorial donations may be made to the Kaitlyn Marie Angus Fund at Railroad Industrial Federal Credit Union, 3710 N. 50th St., Tampa FL 33619.
Yesterday i saluted the casket of a hero, today i mourn his loss .. the words of John Donne seem to fit so well. "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee" with every soldier slain on the field of battle and with every widow at home, part of me dies. I weep for you Sargent and i weep for your widow and i weep for your daughter and i weep for us all. I pray for your comrades safety and their rapid return.
Memorial donations may be made to the Kaitlyn Marie Angus Fund at Railroad Industrial Federal Credit Union, 3710 N. 50th St., Tampa FL 33619.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Oh Friday i Adore you!
My wife has a blog, and i really love to read it (check it out here ). Her post today was about her favorite things and it got me thinking about what my favorite things are. In thinking about it, i realized how truly messed up i am ... my favorite smells are all odd, my favorite moments are odd, the things that make me smile are really out there ... is it possible that everyone loves hot chocolate, puppies, candles that smell like something, flowers, fabric softener, Valentine's Day cards and sunshine? Am i the only one that loves the smell of smoke, foggy nights, violent rain storms, libraries, low black clouds, leafless trees, horse racing, am i the only one who does not like cute fuzzy animals, who has no use for soulless greeting card poetry... although i must admit, i do love warm socks on a cold morning. Reading my wife's blog makes me think that she is fantastic and in tune with the rest of you and i'm .......................................................over here.
Here's something else i think about. The comments section. I average a whopping 7 readers a day (i am deeply in love with each and every one of you) and i average about 1 comment a week. There are 48 people a week that read these posts and leave no comment ... i need more comments ... i use them to figure out what's going on with you, and i'm trying to find a format that works with the stuff you like and my style/opinions. I need some comments ( don't be afraid to critize ) so that i can improve, plus i always answer questions in the next post ... so you can ask anything and i'll go find out all about it for you. Also i heard a rumor that comments stop global warming AND you can write them off on your taxes ... that may not be true, but you'll never know unless you comment.
Speaking of comments ... i know i pick on Islam more than other religions, i know. Not to be an idiot, but every Muslim i have ever spent time with was super cool, it's not their religion that makes me pick on them. I once set up a prayer room for a Muslim employee that i hired (i even turned him around when he was praying facing away from Mecca) ... never mind that the employee in question went on to be arrested for his involvement in a plot to blow up a US naval base. My good friend Atif, the guy from the Pita Republic on Bloomingdale, the Ural family ... all great people, and i love Malcom X (the man, not the movie). I get the news for Pinkosworld by trolling websites looking for outrageous things that i think are not going to be on your nightly news ... and i promise that regardless who does it, punnishing raped children in a legal proceeding, whipping middle schoolers (because they're "about 20 years old") and blowing up your own pants is getting you a mention regardless of your faith. So, it's not Islam that i'm picking on, it's crazy Muslim people ... and it's crazy muslim people who give Islam a bad name. Just like Pat Robertson gives Christianity a bad name and Arnold Rothstein gave Jews a bad name ... so i pick on them because they do crazy things ... and they happen to also be Muslims.
So, lets pick on French people! "French authorities have denied citizenship to a man who forced his French wife to wear a face-covering veil, saying he had rejected national values of secularism and gender equality. The government has been speaking out strongly against head-to-toe veils, and is moving toward banning them in public after a long public debate over French national identity in the age of globalization. Critics call the face-covering veil a gateway to extremism, but the move to ban it has drawn fierce criticism from some of France's five million Muslims, who say such restrictions are based in fear and intolerance of Islam. President Nicolas Sarkozy has called the veils degrading to women and unwelcome in France. Sarkozy, a law-and-order conservative whose relations with the Muslim community have often been fraught, has been a vocal proponent of an all-out ban on the burqa, niqab and other face-covering Muslim veils." (Thank you for that little blurb AP) That's right, if your wife is wearing clothes that France does not like, then you cannot become a citizen of France. And when did secularism become a national value? Lighten up France, we're not all going to wear those stupid hats and Jerry Lewis t-shirts like you do. So maybe worry more about the 452 paid holidays per year that your workers get, and worry a little less about what someone's wife has on.
Happy Friday!
Here's something else i think about. The comments section. I average a whopping 7 readers a day (i am deeply in love with each and every one of you) and i average about 1 comment a week. There are 48 people a week that read these posts and leave no comment ... i need more comments ... i use them to figure out what's going on with you, and i'm trying to find a format that works with the stuff you like and my style/opinions. I need some comments ( don't be afraid to critize ) so that i can improve, plus i always answer questions in the next post ... so you can ask anything and i'll go find out all about it for you. Also i heard a rumor that comments stop global warming AND you can write them off on your taxes ... that may not be true, but you'll never know unless you comment.
Speaking of comments ... i know i pick on Islam more than other religions, i know. Not to be an idiot, but every Muslim i have ever spent time with was super cool, it's not their religion that makes me pick on them. I once set up a prayer room for a Muslim employee that i hired (i even turned him around when he was praying facing away from Mecca) ... never mind that the employee in question went on to be arrested for his involvement in a plot to blow up a US naval base. My good friend Atif, the guy from the Pita Republic on Bloomingdale, the Ural family ... all great people, and i love Malcom X (the man, not the movie). I get the news for Pinkosworld by trolling websites looking for outrageous things that i think are not going to be on your nightly news ... and i promise that regardless who does it, punnishing raped children in a legal proceeding, whipping middle schoolers (because they're "about 20 years old") and blowing up your own pants is getting you a mention regardless of your faith. So, it's not Islam that i'm picking on, it's crazy Muslim people ... and it's crazy muslim people who give Islam a bad name. Just like Pat Robertson gives Christianity a bad name and Arnold Rothstein gave Jews a bad name ... so i pick on them because they do crazy things ... and they happen to also be Muslims.
So, lets pick on French people! "French authorities have denied citizenship to a man who forced his French wife to wear a face-covering veil, saying he had rejected national values of secularism and gender equality. The government has been speaking out strongly against head-to-toe veils, and is moving toward banning them in public after a long public debate over French national identity in the age of globalization. Critics call the face-covering veil a gateway to extremism, but the move to ban it has drawn fierce criticism from some of France's five million Muslims, who say such restrictions are based in fear and intolerance of Islam. President Nicolas Sarkozy has called the veils degrading to women and unwelcome in France. Sarkozy, a law-and-order conservative whose relations with the Muslim community have often been fraught, has been a vocal proponent of an all-out ban on the burqa, niqab and other face-covering Muslim veils." (Thank you for that little blurb AP) That's right, if your wife is wearing clothes that France does not like, then you cannot become a citizen of France. And when did secularism become a national value? Lighten up France, we're not all going to wear those stupid hats and Jerry Lewis t-shirts like you do. So maybe worry more about the 452 paid holidays per year that your workers get, and worry a little less about what someone's wife has on.
Happy Friday!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
If you post at 12:45am is it a Thursday Post?
Today we start with a question. If you own a Toyota and have been informed that your vehicle is a ticking time bomb of uncontrollable acceleration, and you continue to drive it, are you criminally liable when you kill someone with your car? Is Toyota also liable? Maybe it's not murder, but at least criminally negligent homicide, right? As a "automotive professional" i would like to offer a little tip to anyone who finds themselves in a vehicle that is accelerating out of control. The accelerator only controls the RPMs of the engine, in order for the vehicle to move your transmission has to be in the "drive" setting on your gear selector. Are you with me so far? So when you notice the vehicle accelerating when you are not touching the gas pedal, remain calm, and shift the car into neutral! It is simple! Once the vehicle's transmission is not being engaged by the engine you can use the brake to stop your car ... the down side of this technique is that without the resistance of a vehicle to hinder the revolutions of your crankshaft the most likely outcome is that the engine will seize and tear itself apart ... so that's not ideal, but no one will die. Solution #2, trade that Camry in for a Malibu ...
Listen up Muslims, i love you with all of my heart. Each and every one of you. But here's the thing, if you want to tell the world that you're normal and that Islam is a peaceful faith you need to stop being INSANE! There's no two ways about it ... less than a week ago we discussed the girl in Saudi Arabia who was whipped for not giving her cell phone to her teacher willingly (read the old posts if you missed it) ... and someone in Bangladesh heard about it and apparently decided that Saudi Arabia was trying to take the top spot on the crazy punishment charts. So, Bangladesh, not to be out done, this week whipped a rape victim 101 times for being pregnant with her rapist's child. I know you're wondering how old she is (the cell phone girl was in middle school). This poor girl is 16 years old, SIXTEEN! The girl's father was also fined and warned the family would be branded outcasts from their village if he did not pay. So, if the victim can be beaten half to death for getting herself raped, what happens to a 20 rapist in Bangladesh? He was pardoned by the village elders after asking for forgiveness. Of course he was, that makes perfect sense. Muslims, women are fantastic and valuable, PROTECT THEM! Stop the state sanctioning of rape and violation and public corporal punishment. I would like to read these laws. Punishment for violently raping a child, robbing her of her innocense and sense of safety: pardon. Punishment for having a grown man violate you in the worst possible way and leaving his devil spawn in your 16 year old womb: 101 lashes and a fine for your father. Makes sense to me, morons.
In more degrading sex news, a teenager in New Zealand found a horrifying way to pay for her college education. The 19-year-old offered her virginity to the highest bidder in an online auction on the www.ineed.co.nz Web site after she found herself desperate for money. The student, who called herself "Unigirl," said that she was delighted with the outcome and thanked auction participants who had bid more than she expected. "Thank you to the more than 30,000 people who viewed my ad and to the more than 1,200 offers made," she said on the auction site yesterday. "I have accepted an offer in excess of $45,000, which is way beyond what I dreamt." A police spokesman said that no laws were broken. What is wrong with these countries?!? There is no law in New Zealand prohibiting desperate sickos from paying to have sex with a 19 year old girl? Solicitation maybe? Felony creepiness? Something? God help us all.
And this is how politics works. You claim that you are in favor of something when you're not because you need a group to vote for you and then you create a scenario where the thing that you are "in favor" of cannot ever happen where-by you can claim that you really wanted it to happen but "the other guys" stopped you. Got it? So if you need gays to vote for you, just go out and say that you want to repeal "dont ask, don't tell" and then refuse every option other than Congress passing a law to repeal it, and then when Congress does not repeal it you just blame them, nothing actually changes and the gays love you for being on their side. The following is a direct quote from Democracy Now, "The nation’s top two military leaders have voiced support for the first time for repealing “don’t ask, don’t tell,” the military policy barring gay men and lesbians from serving openly in the military. Speaking before the Senate Armed Services Committee, Defense Secretary Robert Gates and Admiral Mike Mullen endorsed President Obama’s call for the repeal during his State of the Union address last week. But in line with Obama’s refusal to issue an executive order, Gates said Congress would need to approve the repeal." And then a bunch of old, white men said ... "No way." Everybody wins. Republicans in Congress get to be tough against the evil Democrats, and the Democrats get to tell the gay and lesbian community that they really tried. Win, win ... lose.
Happy Wednesday, or Thursday if you're on the east coast.
Listen up Muslims, i love you with all of my heart. Each and every one of you. But here's the thing, if you want to tell the world that you're normal and that Islam is a peaceful faith you need to stop being INSANE! There's no two ways about it ... less than a week ago we discussed the girl in Saudi Arabia who was whipped for not giving her cell phone to her teacher willingly (read the old posts if you missed it) ... and someone in Bangladesh heard about it and apparently decided that Saudi Arabia was trying to take the top spot on the crazy punishment charts. So, Bangladesh, not to be out done, this week whipped a rape victim 101 times for being pregnant with her rapist's child. I know you're wondering how old she is (the cell phone girl was in middle school). This poor girl is 16 years old, SIXTEEN! The girl's father was also fined and warned the family would be branded outcasts from their village if he did not pay. So, if the victim can be beaten half to death for getting herself raped, what happens to a 20 rapist in Bangladesh? He was pardoned by the village elders after asking for forgiveness. Of course he was, that makes perfect sense. Muslims, women are fantastic and valuable, PROTECT THEM! Stop the state sanctioning of rape and violation and public corporal punishment. I would like to read these laws. Punishment for violently raping a child, robbing her of her innocense and sense of safety: pardon. Punishment for having a grown man violate you in the worst possible way and leaving his devil spawn in your 16 year old womb: 101 lashes and a fine for your father. Makes sense to me, morons.
In more degrading sex news, a teenager in New Zealand found a horrifying way to pay for her college education. The 19-year-old offered her virginity to the highest bidder in an online auction on the www.ineed.co.nz Web site after she found herself desperate for money. The student, who called herself "Unigirl," said that she was delighted with the outcome and thanked auction participants who had bid more than she expected. "Thank you to the more than 30,000 people who viewed my ad and to the more than 1,200 offers made," she said on the auction site yesterday. "I have accepted an offer in excess of $45,000, which is way beyond what I dreamt." A police spokesman said that no laws were broken. What is wrong with these countries?!? There is no law in New Zealand prohibiting desperate sickos from paying to have sex with a 19 year old girl? Solicitation maybe? Felony creepiness? Something? God help us all.
And this is how politics works. You claim that you are in favor of something when you're not because you need a group to vote for you and then you create a scenario where the thing that you are "in favor" of cannot ever happen where-by you can claim that you really wanted it to happen but "the other guys" stopped you. Got it? So if you need gays to vote for you, just go out and say that you want to repeal "dont ask, don't tell" and then refuse every option other than Congress passing a law to repeal it, and then when Congress does not repeal it you just blame them, nothing actually changes and the gays love you for being on their side. The following is a direct quote from Democracy Now, "The nation’s top two military leaders have voiced support for the first time for repealing “don’t ask, don’t tell,” the military policy barring gay men and lesbians from serving openly in the military. Speaking before the Senate Armed Services Committee, Defense Secretary Robert Gates and Admiral Mike Mullen endorsed President Obama’s call for the repeal during his State of the Union address last week. But in line with Obama’s refusal to issue an executive order, Gates said Congress would need to approve the repeal." And then a bunch of old, white men said ... "No way." Everybody wins. Republicans in Congress get to be tough against the evil Democrats, and the Democrats get to tell the gay and lesbian community that they really tried. Win, win ... lose.
Happy Wednesday, or Thursday if you're on the east coast.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Sex Robots, Murder, Bank Robbery and Terrorists
Today’s post is brought to you by Roxxxy, one man’s answer to the social inadequacies of computer scientists everywhere. To some men (complete freak show loser men), she might seem like the perfect woman: She's a willowy 5 feet 7 and 120 pounds. “She'll chat with you endlessly about your interests. And she'll have sex whenever you please” -- as long as her battery doesn't run out. Because it is a battery powered sex robot! Meet Roxxxy, who may be the world's most sophisticated talking female robot. For $7,000, she's all yours. Really? It’s come to this? To invest $7000 dollars in a sex toy is paramount to admiting that you will NEVER have a real girlfriend ... EVER! You could buy a nice car for $7000, a new wardrobe, take socialization classes, get plastic surgery, take hygiene classes, get your teeth fixed ... you could be one step closer to a real relationship with a real woman ... or you could decend to the deepest depths of self loathing and spend the rest of you life having sex with a freaky looking talking robot. Thanks to inventor (and very lonely freak) Douglas Hines, it’s up to you.
In morons with guns news, a 25-year-old man has been sentenced to 61 years in prison for fatally shooting a landscaper over some grass clippings that landed on him as he was walking by. Yes, a man was walking down the street and grass touched him, and this prompted him to shoot a human being to death. Not to be out done, Florida had to weigh in on this ... in central Florida five people have been shot after a man confronted four teens trespassing in his backyard. Police say the shooting happened Sunday afternoon when a 26-year-old man confronted the teens at his home in Cocoa and told them the leave. When the teens challenged the man, he shot them. The resident was also shot in the back during the confrontation. I’m not sure which side I’m on here, I don’t think that 4 armed teenagers should be allowed to be in my backyard ... and I think it’s stupid to confront 4 armed teenagers in my backyard ... so everybody got shot ... let that be a lesson to you. I’m not sure what the lesson is, but we can all learn something ... I think. Maybe the lesson is that 911 is your friend.
In washed-up-has-been news, Rip Torn (for those of you born anytime recently, Rip Torn was once a comedian) was so intoxicated when he broke into a Connecticut bank carrying a loaded gun that he thought he was home, taking off his hat and boots and leaving them by the door, according to court records. Alright, I’m going to argue that he still is a comedian, what’s funnier than getting drunk, getting a gun and trying to break into a bank through a window in the middle of the night? How about getting caught and claiming that you were SO drunk that you thought it was your house. Good one Rip, armed drunk people are always trying to break into their own houses ... Rip made bail and entered rehab ... can you be a bank robbery addict?
Tonight we close with state sponsored terrorism news. Do you remember Lybia? Does the name Colonel Kadaffi ring a bell? No? Lybia invented state sponsored terrorism when they backed the guys that blew a airline out of the sky over Lockerbie, Scotland in 1988. Pan Am flight 103 ended with 270 innocent dead and now Russia has decided, in their infinite wisdom, to supply Libya with small-arms and other weapons to the value of $1.8 billion Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has announced. Mr Putin gave no further details. However, according to a military diplomatic source quoted earlier by Russian news agencies, the deal included fighter aircraft, tanks and a sophisticated air defense system. That’s fantastic! I love it when crazy dictators have sophisticated military weapons. I’m sure that nothing can possibly go wrong with this deal ... maybe we can sell $1.56 trillion worth of weapons to Bin Laden, balance the budget, fix our unemployment problem and guarantee a well armed enemy to fight for another century ... it’s worth looking into, don’t you think?
Happy Monday!
In morons with guns news, a 25-year-old man has been sentenced to 61 years in prison for fatally shooting a landscaper over some grass clippings that landed on him as he was walking by. Yes, a man was walking down the street and grass touched him, and this prompted him to shoot a human being to death. Not to be out done, Florida had to weigh in on this ... in central Florida five people have been shot after a man confronted four teens trespassing in his backyard. Police say the shooting happened Sunday afternoon when a 26-year-old man confronted the teens at his home in Cocoa and told them the leave. When the teens challenged the man, he shot them. The resident was also shot in the back during the confrontation. I’m not sure which side I’m on here, I don’t think that 4 armed teenagers should be allowed to be in my backyard ... and I think it’s stupid to confront 4 armed teenagers in my backyard ... so everybody got shot ... let that be a lesson to you. I’m not sure what the lesson is, but we can all learn something ... I think. Maybe the lesson is that 911 is your friend.
In washed-up-has-been news, Rip Torn (for those of you born anytime recently, Rip Torn was once a comedian) was so intoxicated when he broke into a Connecticut bank carrying a loaded gun that he thought he was home, taking off his hat and boots and leaving them by the door, according to court records. Alright, I’m going to argue that he still is a comedian, what’s funnier than getting drunk, getting a gun and trying to break into a bank through a window in the middle of the night? How about getting caught and claiming that you were SO drunk that you thought it was your house. Good one Rip, armed drunk people are always trying to break into their own houses ... Rip made bail and entered rehab ... can you be a bank robbery addict?
Tonight we close with state sponsored terrorism news. Do you remember Lybia? Does the name Colonel Kadaffi ring a bell? No? Lybia invented state sponsored terrorism when they backed the guys that blew a airline out of the sky over Lockerbie, Scotland in 1988. Pan Am flight 103 ended with 270 innocent dead and now Russia has decided, in their infinite wisdom, to supply Libya with small-arms and other weapons to the value of $1.8 billion Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has announced. Mr Putin gave no further details. However, according to a military diplomatic source quoted earlier by Russian news agencies, the deal included fighter aircraft, tanks and a sophisticated air defense system. That’s fantastic! I love it when crazy dictators have sophisticated military weapons. I’m sure that nothing can possibly go wrong with this deal ... maybe we can sell $1.56 trillion worth of weapons to Bin Laden, balance the budget, fix our unemployment problem and guarantee a well armed enemy to fight for another century ... it’s worth looking into, don’t you think?
Happy Monday!
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