Today's post is brought to you by .... I DID IT AGAIN! Ok, no one actually caught me, so i could probably get away with it, but then how could i go on being both of your's source for news and commentary? The inept terrorist that blew up his pants (or Knicker-bomber) is not from Kenya as i reported to you yesterday. He is actuall Nigerian which is siomilar except that Nigeria has a good soccer team and Kenya has the guys that win every marathon on earth. So i apologize and i won't do it again, well maybe i will.
So today's news- National Steak and Poultry is voluntarily recalling about 248,000 pounds of beef it said might be contaminated with a strain of E. coli bacteria. The company said the meat could be linked to illnesses in six states. Ok, sick people, it's sad and all ... but 248,000 pounds?!? A quarter million pounds of cow? How many cows is that? What are they going to do with a quarter million pounds of bacteria habitat? You can't just flush it down the toilet.
In Charlie Sheen news- No he didn't get arrested for soliciting prostitutes, no he didn't get arrested for drug posession, no he didn't get arrested for threatening Denise Richards, he just got arrested for choaking his new wife and attacking her with a knife. Yes you read that right, someone was stupid enough to marry Charlie Sheen. I didn't even know he got remaried ... congratulations to you both! And to the future ex-Mrs Sheen, i'm sure there's another fish in the crazy sea just waiting for you.
In other news- I seriously suggest that you all stop worshiping at the alter of technology. If you want to write to some one buy an envelope and a stamp, if you want to know the weather look outside and if you want to navigate buy a compass and a map. Remember maps? Those things that they sell in the gas station (yes they're still there) that fold out and have pictures of roads and towns and train tracks and show where the rivers are and stuff ... remember? They worked fine for a couple of thousand years, but they're not good enough anymore are they? No, now you need a computer hooked to a satelite that tells you there is a traffic back up and suggests an alternate route, you're far too busy to wait in traffic ... "A Nevada couple letting their SUV's navigation system guide them through the high desert of Eastern Oregon got stuck in snow for three days when the GPS unit sent them down a remote forest road." Can you imagine that scene for a second? Husband and wife, stuck in a snowbank for three days after making a wrong turn ... GPS to blame or no GPS to blame, it is a credit to them both that they are both still alive. I mean seriously, i used to think that wallpapering a bathroom together was the ultimate test for couples (that's what my Dad told me) but 3 days to talk about who's to blame for the two of you slowly starving to death ... we have a winner!
And today we close with some news from the Islamic world that does not involve Yemen ... yes there are countries over there other than Yemen. Protests broke out yesterday in Iran. I guess that some of the people there aren't happy with no jobs or food and elections that don't really count and a couple of religous guys running everything (it's called theocracy - thank you very much 10th grade social studies) and the Iranian establishment met to decide how to handle the protest where-by they came up with a rational, practical solution to the issue of peaceful people dissenting in the streets (no union members, they didn't make concessions to please everyone) they sent the police out to meet the protesters and talk them into stopping. So the police did ... using the universal language of randomly shooting people to death. Well done Iran, nothing says "I'm secure with my ideology and the basis for my political power" like murdering everyone who doesn't agree with you. I mean who has time for discourse and the exchange of ideas anymore, especially when it means that you might have to actually allow the person that the people elected (twice, once on election day and then again in a run off) to govern the nation. What an inconvienence ... really so much easier to shoot them in the street.
Question of the day - Where do you stand on your government putting people in prison for not getting health insurance thru a private insurance company?
Monday, December 28, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Wow Was i Ever Wrong
Tonights post is brought to you by ... oh, never mind that let's get right to the correction. On December the 16th ... or maybe the 19th i said that when the "UN Security forces invade Yemen ..." I was totally wrong, i thought that this President was all about coalition building and gaining the support of the world, so i'm sorry, i was wrong. So, when WE invade Yemen it is going to be to "promote stability" and inforce the "rule of law". 10 days ago we fired some missles at some "al quaida" training camps where aparently they were training innocent women and children and then fast forward to Christmas ... a lunitic from Kenya tries to blow up a airline with 50 cc's of high explosive and manages to blow up his pants and catch himself on fire instead. Which is interesting at best ... right up till the spin begins. The man is rushed to the hospital with third degree burns and i guess he was in a really talkative mood because within 2 hours the news media is told that the man has told the investigators that the device he caried came from Yemen ... i'm sure that they didn't want to know who he was, where he came from, what group he was a part of ... i'm sure they had no questions about how he got the device on the plane ... no the very first question they had for the man who tried to blow up an american airliner was, "Where did you get this brilliant device that managed to burn your pants so well?" I mean whoever the master explosive expert that came up with this one needs top be stopped at all cost. If we have to invade Yemen and kill women and children, destroy some families and prop up a government that is so unpopular that 2 different rebel groups are at war with it at the same time, then i say so be it! Here are some of the headlines about the terrorist attack in Detroit on Christmas day.
Two law enforcement sources told NBC News that Abdulmutallab had recently spent at least a month with extremists in Yemen, but that it was not clear if those extremists were al-Qaida members or radicals inspired by al-Qaida
U.S. agencies are looking into whether al-Qaida extremists in Yemen directed Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab and provided him with the explosives used in the failed bombing of Northwest Flight 253, senior administration officials tell NBC News.
Abdulmutallab had visited Yemen in the past few months, say officials. Al-Qaida in the Arabian Peninsula is a Yemen-based offshoot of al-Qaida
U.S. Charges Suspect, Eyeing Link to Qaeda in Yemen
The man charged by the U.S. in an attempted attack on a jet told investigators that he obtained explosives from a bomb expert in Yemen associated with Al Qaeda in the Arabian Penninsula
I found those on December 26th, one day after the attack in obscure places like MSNBC, ABC news, the New York Times, i mean i really had to hunt ... one day later the headlines are all about Yemen, not Kenya (where the man was from) not security in Holland (where the plane came from) ... Yemen. The propaganda machine is in full swing getting your consent to start another war ... all we need is a shady border exchange of fire on the Polish frontier near a radio station (that's how Hitler justified the invasion of Poland). So i'm paranoid right? "Calm down Pinko, you're just saying that because it looks too convienient, sure the time line is crazy and that 30 day news blackout from the Yemeni war looks bad but there's a reasonable explanation." You're probably right, i mean it's not like they are tying every emotional news story to Yemen all of a sudden, it's not like they're suddenly making Yemen the center of the war on terror in any other way ... oh, wait. Remember Ft. Hood?
12/25/09-Reports claim that the controversial Muslim cleric who was contacted by the Fort Hood shooter before his killing spree has been killed in an anti-terror air strike.
A radical Muslim preacher linked by U.S. intelligence to a gunman who killed 13 people at a U.S. Army base is believed to have died in a Yemen airstrike on al Qaeda militants, a security official said on Thursday
12/26/09-A U.S.-born radical cleric is alive and well following reports he may have been killed in a Yemeni airstrike against suspected Al Qaeda hideouts, friends and relatives said Friday
Yemen caused the Ft. Hood shooting too, those BASTARDS! Oh and the American muslim cleric who is now suddenly responsible for the shooting is still alive ... he's on the loose running amuck in Yemen! He might be talking to other muslims on the phone right now as we speak! Hurry we need more euphamistic killings! More "anti-terror" air strikes! There will be more soon ... don't worry. Do you think thay'll go so far as to say that there have been bin Laden sightings in Yemen? No, they wouldn't ... well, they might.
I feel like a lone voice in the wilderness, i feel helpless, i cry for the poor people there who are going to experience more terrible war, i cry for the west that allows themselves to be lied to and decieved ... God help us all.
Two law enforcement sources told NBC News that Abdulmutallab had recently spent at least a month with extremists in Yemen, but that it was not clear if those extremists were al-Qaida members or radicals inspired by al-Qaida
U.S. agencies are looking into whether al-Qaida extremists in Yemen directed Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab and provided him with the explosives used in the failed bombing of Northwest Flight 253, senior administration officials tell NBC News.
Abdulmutallab had visited Yemen in the past few months, say officials. Al-Qaida in the Arabian Peninsula is a Yemen-based offshoot of al-Qaida
U.S. Charges Suspect, Eyeing Link to Qaeda in Yemen
The man charged by the U.S. in an attempted attack on a jet told investigators that he obtained explosives from a bomb expert in Yemen associated with Al Qaeda in the Arabian Penninsula
I found those on December 26th, one day after the attack in obscure places like MSNBC, ABC news, the New York Times, i mean i really had to hunt ... one day later the headlines are all about Yemen, not Kenya (where the man was from) not security in Holland (where the plane came from) ... Yemen. The propaganda machine is in full swing getting your consent to start another war ... all we need is a shady border exchange of fire on the Polish frontier near a radio station (that's how Hitler justified the invasion of Poland). So i'm paranoid right? "Calm down Pinko, you're just saying that because it looks too convienient, sure the time line is crazy and that 30 day news blackout from the Yemeni war looks bad but there's a reasonable explanation." You're probably right, i mean it's not like they are tying every emotional news story to Yemen all of a sudden, it's not like they're suddenly making Yemen the center of the war on terror in any other way ... oh, wait. Remember Ft. Hood?
12/25/09-Reports claim that the controversial Muslim cleric who was contacted by the Fort Hood shooter before his killing spree has been killed in an anti-terror air strike.
A radical Muslim preacher linked by U.S. intelligence to a gunman who killed 13 people at a U.S. Army base is believed to have died in a Yemen airstrike on al Qaeda militants, a security official said on Thursday
12/26/09-A U.S.-born radical cleric is alive and well following reports he may have been killed in a Yemeni airstrike against suspected Al Qaeda hideouts, friends and relatives said Friday
Yemen caused the Ft. Hood shooting too, those BASTARDS! Oh and the American muslim cleric who is now suddenly responsible for the shooting is still alive ... he's on the loose running amuck in Yemen! He might be talking to other muslims on the phone right now as we speak! Hurry we need more euphamistic killings! More "anti-terror" air strikes! There will be more soon ... don't worry. Do you think thay'll go so far as to say that there have been bin Laden sightings in Yemen? No, they wouldn't ... well, they might.
I feel like a lone voice in the wilderness, i feel helpless, i cry for the poor people there who are going to experience more terrible war, i cry for the west that allows themselves to be lied to and decieved ... God help us all.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Merry Christmas Everyone!
I wasn't planning on doing a Christmas post, but today was such an interesting day i thought i'd let everyone in on it. It started off normal enough ... in our house that's the kids getting up first and getting really annoyed that Ang (my wife) and i aren't getting up fast enough followed by opening presents and playing with a couple of toys and then breakfast and then ... well, after that it sort of varies from year to year. Sometimes we're in Florida, sometimes we're in NY, some times we spend the whole day at home, sometimes we spend the day with family. This year was a Florida/with family kind of year.
So after breakfast, we packed up the car and headed to my mother-in-law's house for some Christmas lunch and family time. My 3 girls have about a million cousins, but there were 6 of them at my MIL's house today and everyone seemed to get along well and behave themselves, which if you knew the 9 of them you would know that it was certainly a Christmas miracle. All the parents actually got to eat warm food and (thanks Terry) and i got to talk a little bible with my pastor Brother-in-law. I don't think i could possibly tell you how atypical the whole afternoon was, and in the end my middle one and their oldest played race cars with my baby daughter and everyone was nice and got along. After that we came home and my baby played with her new doll house for HOURS quietly, the other two played with the new Strawberry Shortcake dolls (yes they still smell like they used to) and i just relaxed and Ang read a book. It was the most relaxed, peaceful day i can remember ... maybe ever.
On the disappointment front, Michaelia didn't get the Nintendo DS that she wanted and Winkie is mad that for the second year in a row Santa did not leave one of his reindeer even though she asked him and he said he would (last year she got a stuffed one and was mad because she TOLD him to bring a REAL one, not a stuffed one).
Today i realized i love Christmas, even the commercialized version that we celebrate. So with that, i wish you all a very Merry Christmas.
So after breakfast, we packed up the car and headed to my mother-in-law's house for some Christmas lunch and family time. My 3 girls have about a million cousins, but there were 6 of them at my MIL's house today and everyone seemed to get along well and behave themselves, which if you knew the 9 of them you would know that it was certainly a Christmas miracle. All the parents actually got to eat warm food and (thanks Terry) and i got to talk a little bible with my pastor Brother-in-law. I don't think i could possibly tell you how atypical the whole afternoon was, and in the end my middle one and their oldest played race cars with my baby daughter and everyone was nice and got along. After that we came home and my baby played with her new doll house for HOURS quietly, the other two played with the new Strawberry Shortcake dolls (yes they still smell like they used to) and i just relaxed and Ang read a book. It was the most relaxed, peaceful day i can remember ... maybe ever.
On the disappointment front, Michaelia didn't get the Nintendo DS that she wanted and Winkie is mad that for the second year in a row Santa did not leave one of his reindeer even though she asked him and he said he would (last year she got a stuffed one and was mad because she TOLD him to bring a REAL one, not a stuffed one).
Today i realized i love Christmas, even the commercialized version that we celebrate. So with that, i wish you all a very Merry Christmas.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Sleep debt writing
OK, so if you’re reading this we’ve probably met since my fan base seems to consist entirely of people that I ask, “Did you read my new post?” and they say no, and then I tell them that they should and then they check it out just to shut me up. So I know I don’t necessarily look like a mass murderer or a kidnapper ... I mean I don’t wear the uniform or drive an old Dodge 2500 Ramvan ... right? I guess I’m just saying I look fairly normal, but that being said let me clarify something for you parents out there (also those of you that might be parents some day pay attention) no matter how normal someone looks, no matter how cool they seem, no matter who introduced you to them ... YOU DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CHILD WITH A STRANGER IN A CROWDED AMUSEMENT PARK SO THAT YOU CAN GO GET A CUP OF COFFEE!!! and if you were to be so naive (which is to be interpreted STUPID) YOU DO NOT SPEND 25 MINUTES GETTING A CUP OF COFFEE WHILE A STRANGER IS WATCHING YOUR CHILD!!!!! Here’s parenting in a nutshell as I understand it. God blesses you with a child which is born fragile and needy and noisy and cute. Your job is to raise the child which includes feeding it, sheltering it, teaching it things and possibly most important of all, keeping it alive and a subsection of keeping it alive is NOT LEAVING YOUR CHILD WITH A STRANGER AT AN AMUSEMENT PARK! If you were to take an elementary parenting class they would not mention this because no one in their right mind would think that anyone would be so stupid, here’s an idea ... go find a 2nd grader and ask him/her if leaving a 4 year old with a stranger is a good idea and they will tell you “No”. I have been accused of being overprotective of my children a time or two (an accusation that is completely true) but c’mon! I mean, you don’t have to leash your kids, but making a good decision once in a while is going to be necessary in order to guarantee the kid’s survival isn’t it?
So on that note, today’s post is brought to you by children that probably will not survive to adulthood because their parents are retarded and obviously don’t love them.
In senate news the US Senate managed to move to a vote on a bill they haven’t read and will make our health care delivery system in some way more inept and simultaneously more expensive. But the good news is that they decided to make mandatory use of private health insurance ... so the system is going to be a complete fiasco, but the insurance companies will get 30 million more paying customers ... so I guess that’s good ... if you own an insurance company.
I would like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Chanukah from the bottom of my heart. Tomorrow we celebrate the birth of Christ, and although we may all do it in different ways we will be one body, worshiping God almighty and this amazing gift of a savior born to us as the son of man. As far as Chanukah goes ... I’m not sure about the details, but it has to do with candles and oil lasting a long time and God’s miraculous provision for his people ... so thanks be to God for his provision and love this time of year. I would have mentioned Kwanza ... but I don’t think your allowed to make up your own holidays just because you want to, sorry Kwanza people ... go out and either buy a nice Christmas tree or a menorah and call it a day.
Question of the day ... what do kidnappers look like? (submit your answer in the comments section).
So on that note, today’s post is brought to you by children that probably will not survive to adulthood because their parents are retarded and obviously don’t love them.
In senate news the US Senate managed to move to a vote on a bill they haven’t read and will make our health care delivery system in some way more inept and simultaneously more expensive. But the good news is that they decided to make mandatory use of private health insurance ... so the system is going to be a complete fiasco, but the insurance companies will get 30 million more paying customers ... so I guess that’s good ... if you own an insurance company.
I would like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Chanukah from the bottom of my heart. Tomorrow we celebrate the birth of Christ, and although we may all do it in different ways we will be one body, worshiping God almighty and this amazing gift of a savior born to us as the son of man. As far as Chanukah goes ... I’m not sure about the details, but it has to do with candles and oil lasting a long time and God’s miraculous provision for his people ... so thanks be to God for his provision and love this time of year. I would have mentioned Kwanza ... but I don’t think your allowed to make up your own holidays just because you want to, sorry Kwanza people ... go out and either buy a nice Christmas tree or a menorah and call it a day.
Question of the day ... what do kidnappers look like? (submit your answer in the comments section).
Saturday, December 19, 2009
There is no truth to the rumor that Tiger and Lindsey Lohan are dating ... Amy Winehouse, different story.
Today's post is brought to you by my friend Megan ... who recently wrote this and i love it and i wanted to share it with you. "The economy is just terrible," says the man in the long Starbucks line as he checks his iphone. "I know," the woman, also in line, disapprovingly shakes her head side to side. She shifts her armful of shopping bags as the line pushes forward places her order. Though I couldn't make out what she said, she seemed the Gingerbread Latte with whip type. Or maybe hold the whip this year, the economy all. It reminds me of two things ... no, three things.
#1 This thing that Rollins wrote about men being like coffee and women being like martinis, it is awesome and you should check it out ... i'm not sure which of his books it's in but if you just read tham all (like you should anyway) you'll see it.
#2 That the whole Starbucks phenomenon is terribly annoying and i wish it would go away ... can i please tell you the size of my desired drink in english? And could you not correct me in italian? That would be great.
#3 Too often we forget that while we have problems in our lives, other people are not eating this WEEK so that their children can have a little rice or bread or fruit ... while we wish health care were streamlined and more affordable other people wish that there was a doctor within 500 miles of their village when their child was sick ... while we wish the troops could come home other people are being shot at and bombed and burned ... and by other people i mean MOST people.
Ok, some of you aren't paying attention to what's going on in Yemen... and by some of you i mean everyone in the world. About a month ago a war broke out there where the government army attacked the northern part of the country where a bunch of rebels were hanging out. I was fascinated because Yemen borders Saudi Arabia and is across from our pals Somalia and chaos there could block Suez canal passage and all sorts of bad stuff. So here's how the media handled it... Day 1 - War started, Yemen attacks rebels with helicopters and artillery. Day 2- Refugees try to flee to Saudi Arabia and are stopped by the Saudis at the border ... 100,000 with no food and water and no villages to go home to Day 3 through Day 30- NOTHING! Total news black out, like it never happened ... and i searched for it, i mean i spent hours looking at every news site i could find, even foreign ones. Day 31- US bombs Yemen al-qaida training bases.
So apparently the war has escalated some, now there are seperatists fighting the government in the south and the rebels fighting the govenment in the north and al-qaida, it seems, was hiding under the 60 women and children that we hit with missles from Navy warships. No really, they were, because we said we hit our target and the people standing next to the dead people seemed to think that mostly we blew up some women and children. So that's the next war we're going to be involved in, and the best part is the Saudis never let the refugees in and they couldn't go home due to the fighting so i'm sure the 100,000 or so found all kinds of food/water/shelter in the middle of a desert. No really, i'm sure that they are fine. When the UN peace keepers arrive in Yemen it will be to "promote stability" and to inforce the "rule of law" ... another prophetic moment! Never mind that the people who live there seem to dislike the government enough to go to war against it, never mind that we have never cared about Yemen before ... we NEED to help them. The news blackout was so that people didn't think we were joining a revolution on the side of the establishment, so that we could pretend we were getting involved to continue the "War on Terror" not just because we're proping up an unpopular, corrupt regime cold war style because it serves our economic intrests.
And i decided to write a health care bill, don't worry, it's not 2000 pages long.
All insurance policies are hereby portable, if you leave one company for another or to be self employeed or to be "downsized" your insurer will be required to offer you the policy that you already had at the same price, if your employer was paying part of the expense the insured will be required to pay the full amount in order to continue coverage.
An acceptable retail price will be established for hospitals, there are no $500 asprin or $275 bandaids anymore.
Lawyers hereby can no longer incite people to sue their doctor and malpractice limits can be capped by the doctor so long as his limit is published where the patients can see it and make informed decisions.
Doctors will here by make medical decisions and insurance companies will pay for those decisions, doctors will be subject to audits and reviews of their practices to root out corruption and statistical anomolies ... no corporate insurance monger will deny commonsence treatment or diagnostic test due to the possible cost . Insurance is supposed to be a risk for the insurer not the insured.
And last but not least the morbidly obese will not be treated for heart disease, unless telling them to walk home and eat vegetables counts as treatment ... no longer will you eat twinkies and chicken fried steak in front of the TV after each of your 6 bypasses before finally dying of a massive heart attack. And while we're on the subject of treatment for the undeserving, intentionally injecting yourself with a lethal dose of heroin is not cause for treatment, it is a sucessful suicide that should not be interrupted. We don't catch people in midair when they jump off buildings ... some people should get what they want ... and before you boo me answer me this, why did noone care about them before they tried to die? Drug addicts are shunned and sent to prison and treated like human refuse ... right up until they almost die, and then they've valuable. Don't worry, tomorrow they'll be back on the street and soaking up all the scorn you have to dish out. It's just like the abortion debate; when are we going to realize that the legality of abortion is not the problem? Drugs are not the problem, crime is not the problem ... the problem is that your daughter doesn't know that you love her, or she doesn't even know you; the problem is that you raised your son to be a coward that disrespects women and is afraid to face up to real consequences, the problem is that the once invincible sense of community that was a dominant force in most of this country is dead. So i say let them die and you say put them in prison so that you don't have to deal with them, the broken people that you created. If you don't want 16 year olds and 20 year olds to get pregnant out of wedlock don't wait for them outside of the Planned Parenthood ... it's a little late at that point. If you want girls to wait until they are married and decide to have children to get pregnent then you might want to get involved when they're about ten ... if you want people to stop taking drugs you might want to go ahead and get involved before they start shooting up and let them know that you care, that life is worth living. So that's the health care bill. It would save money and be more effective. Any suggestions or comments?
Aparently i forgot that this was the "new" blog and slipped into the old blog there for a minute ... sorry about that. So in other news the big get together in Denmark was a total bust, what a surprise. I am shocked that China doesn't want to limit their pollution, and the united states and england don't want to pay billions to Africa ... never saw that coming. And the repubilcans are trying to block the vote on the health care bill ... thhe bill as it turns out has not even been finalized yet, so the people you elected and pay for are arguing about what "might" be in a bill that they might see at some point in the future ... ain't government grand?
Oh and the title was totally a teaser, but it would be really funny if Amy Winehouse came out and said she was with Tiger ... at least i think it would be funny.
#1 This thing that Rollins wrote about men being like coffee and women being like martinis, it is awesome and you should check it out ... i'm not sure which of his books it's in but if you just read tham all (like you should anyway) you'll see it.
#2 That the whole Starbucks phenomenon is terribly annoying and i wish it would go away ... can i please tell you the size of my desired drink in english? And could you not correct me in italian? That would be great.
#3 Too often we forget that while we have problems in our lives, other people are not eating this WEEK so that their children can have a little rice or bread or fruit ... while we wish health care were streamlined and more affordable other people wish that there was a doctor within 500 miles of their village when their child was sick ... while we wish the troops could come home other people are being shot at and bombed and burned ... and by other people i mean MOST people.
Ok, some of you aren't paying attention to what's going on in Yemen... and by some of you i mean everyone in the world. About a month ago a war broke out there where the government army attacked the northern part of the country where a bunch of rebels were hanging out. I was fascinated because Yemen borders Saudi Arabia and is across from our pals Somalia and chaos there could block Suez canal passage and all sorts of bad stuff. So here's how the media handled it... Day 1 - War started, Yemen attacks rebels with helicopters and artillery. Day 2- Refugees try to flee to Saudi Arabia and are stopped by the Saudis at the border ... 100,000 with no food and water and no villages to go home to Day 3 through Day 30- NOTHING! Total news black out, like it never happened ... and i searched for it, i mean i spent hours looking at every news site i could find, even foreign ones. Day 31- US bombs Yemen al-qaida training bases.
So apparently the war has escalated some, now there are seperatists fighting the government in the south and the rebels fighting the govenment in the north and al-qaida, it seems, was hiding under the 60 women and children that we hit with missles from Navy warships. No really, they were, because we said we hit our target and the people standing next to the dead people seemed to think that mostly we blew up some women and children. So that's the next war we're going to be involved in, and the best part is the Saudis never let the refugees in and they couldn't go home due to the fighting so i'm sure the 100,000 or so found all kinds of food/water/shelter in the middle of a desert. No really, i'm sure that they are fine. When the UN peace keepers arrive in Yemen it will be to "promote stability" and to inforce the "rule of law" ... another prophetic moment! Never mind that the people who live there seem to dislike the government enough to go to war against it, never mind that we have never cared about Yemen before ... we NEED to help them. The news blackout was so that people didn't think we were joining a revolution on the side of the establishment, so that we could pretend we were getting involved to continue the "War on Terror" not just because we're proping up an unpopular, corrupt regime cold war style because it serves our economic intrests.
And i decided to write a health care bill, don't worry, it's not 2000 pages long.
All insurance policies are hereby portable, if you leave one company for another or to be self employeed or to be "downsized" your insurer will be required to offer you the policy that you already had at the same price, if your employer was paying part of the expense the insured will be required to pay the full amount in order to continue coverage.
An acceptable retail price will be established for hospitals, there are no $500 asprin or $275 bandaids anymore.
Lawyers hereby can no longer incite people to sue their doctor and malpractice limits can be capped by the doctor so long as his limit is published where the patients can see it and make informed decisions.
Doctors will here by make medical decisions and insurance companies will pay for those decisions, doctors will be subject to audits and reviews of their practices to root out corruption and statistical anomolies ... no corporate insurance monger will deny commonsence treatment or diagnostic test due to the possible cost . Insurance is supposed to be a risk for the insurer not the insured.
And last but not least the morbidly obese will not be treated for heart disease, unless telling them to walk home and eat vegetables counts as treatment ... no longer will you eat twinkies and chicken fried steak in front of the TV after each of your 6 bypasses before finally dying of a massive heart attack. And while we're on the subject of treatment for the undeserving, intentionally injecting yourself with a lethal dose of heroin is not cause for treatment, it is a sucessful suicide that should not be interrupted. We don't catch people in midair when they jump off buildings ... some people should get what they want ... and before you boo me answer me this, why did noone care about them before they tried to die? Drug addicts are shunned and sent to prison and treated like human refuse ... right up until they almost die, and then they've valuable. Don't worry, tomorrow they'll be back on the street and soaking up all the scorn you have to dish out. It's just like the abortion debate; when are we going to realize that the legality of abortion is not the problem? Drugs are not the problem, crime is not the problem ... the problem is that your daughter doesn't know that you love her, or she doesn't even know you; the problem is that you raised your son to be a coward that disrespects women and is afraid to face up to real consequences, the problem is that the once invincible sense of community that was a dominant force in most of this country is dead. So i say let them die and you say put them in prison so that you don't have to deal with them, the broken people that you created. If you don't want 16 year olds and 20 year olds to get pregnant out of wedlock don't wait for them outside of the Planned Parenthood ... it's a little late at that point. If you want girls to wait until they are married and decide to have children to get pregnent then you might want to get involved when they're about ten ... if you want people to stop taking drugs you might want to go ahead and get involved before they start shooting up and let them know that you care, that life is worth living. So that's the health care bill. It would save money and be more effective. Any suggestions or comments?
Aparently i forgot that this was the "new" blog and slipped into the old blog there for a minute ... sorry about that. So in other news the big get together in Denmark was a total bust, what a surprise. I am shocked that China doesn't want to limit their pollution, and the united states and england don't want to pay billions to Africa ... never saw that coming. And the repubilcans are trying to block the vote on the health care bill ... thhe bill as it turns out has not even been finalized yet, so the people you elected and pay for are arguing about what "might" be in a bill that they might see at some point in the future ... ain't government grand?
Oh and the title was totally a teaser, but it would be really funny if Amy Winehouse came out and said she was with Tiger ... at least i think it would be funny.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Taxpayers pay for Sexual Predator's erection?
Today’s post is brought to you by Denmark, not since that movie with the girl from 10 Things I Hate About You have you been so popular Denmark! Good for you! What better place for third world countries to send representatives with visions of sugar plums and of huge “climate change” subsidies only to have their hopes and dreams crushed by the western nations devalued currencies and unwillingness to agree on just about anything. For most of you it will be your first white Christmas, so forget the conference ... go to the Viking museum and have some hot cocoa.
So I’ve been trying to do a Monday-Wednesday-Friday thing, but this story came to my attention and I almost exploded trying to wait until tomorrow. In Australia there is an inmate named John Powch ... he is 62 years old and since he is in prison for being convicted of three violent sexual assaults in 2004 New South Wales Corrective Services has categorized him as a “serious sex offender” ... I gather that’s something like our “sexual predator” tag. Apparently Justice Health (the organization responsible for inmate health issues) does not consider the reason an inmate is imprisoned when determining health care treatment which is why, at tax payer expense, a convicted rapist would be transported to a public hospital and undergo tests and treatment for erectile dysfunction. No, you read that right ... TAXPAYERS are paying to fix the penile erection problems of a jailed rapist! Here is Powch’s criminal history ...
“...a hardened criminal who has been behind bars most of his adult life, is in jail until October 19, 2013. He was named one of New South Wales' 10 most wanted criminals after escaping from Cessnock jail in 1980, during which time he robbed banks.In the 1970s, Powch was involved in armed hold-ups with Ivan Milat, who was cleared of the charges but went on to become a serial killer.By the mid-1980s, Powch was the right-hand man for major drug importer David Kelleher and jailed in 1985 for 18 years for conspiring to import heroin.” (www.perthnow.com)
So, not only is he a rapist, he has committed multiple armed robberies, escaped from jail previously, kept company with a serial murderer, and imported heroin to poison children and fund terrorism ... so of course if he can’t get it up take him out of prison and drive him to the urologist ... ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!!!!!
There are so many things wrong with this I just don’t know ... c’mon Australia get in the game, don’t be like us and get all soft ... where’s Crocodile Dundee? Let Mick Dundee be this guy’s urologist Australia, one little swing of his mammoth knife and all future appointments can be canceled, Dr. Dundee can fix this for you in an instant ... “That’s not erectile dysfunction (knife comes out) “kerhunk” ... now, that’s erectile dysfunction.” Problem solved.
I’m so tired of poor people’s tax money being spent like it doesn’t matter ... people work hard for that money, maybe act like it means something to you (not just Australia, everyone).
And I hate to have a one story day, so here’s something that didn’t make our news that you’d probably like to know about ... I mean it seems like it would be important, but after all maybe there was no room left since we need to hear more about Tiger Wood’s melt down. I would hate to miss any of that and waste my time learning about actual people actually suffering ... so here it is. Tens of thousands of villagers in the Philippines have fled their homes after one of the nation's most active volcanoes spewed lava and sent ash plumes high into the sky. Soldiers and police marshaled the evacuation from the danger zone around the foothills of the Mayon volcano, amid concerns a big eruption could occur at any moment.
"After the series of ash puffs and ash explosions of 1000 meters (high), we cannot rule out a major explosion,'' said Cedric Daep, the head of disaster relief operations in the region. He said authorities aimed to evacuate nearly 50,000 people from villages within 8km of the volcano by tomorrow. Albay provincial governor Joey Salceda said that nearly 21,000 people had been evacuated by nightfall yesterday.
"Zero casualties is still the goal of our province,'' he told the ABS-CBN network. Some residents were carried out on military trucks, while others walked out carrying boxes of belongings on their heads.
Happy Tuesday, and don't forget to comment.
So I’ve been trying to do a Monday-Wednesday-Friday thing, but this story came to my attention and I almost exploded trying to wait until tomorrow. In Australia there is an inmate named John Powch ... he is 62 years old and since he is in prison for being convicted of three violent sexual assaults in 2004 New South Wales Corrective Services has categorized him as a “serious sex offender” ... I gather that’s something like our “sexual predator” tag. Apparently Justice Health (the organization responsible for inmate health issues) does not consider the reason an inmate is imprisoned when determining health care treatment which is why, at tax payer expense, a convicted rapist would be transported to a public hospital and undergo tests and treatment for erectile dysfunction. No, you read that right ... TAXPAYERS are paying to fix the penile erection problems of a jailed rapist! Here is Powch’s criminal history ...
“...a hardened criminal who has been behind bars most of his adult life, is in jail until October 19, 2013. He was named one of New South Wales' 10 most wanted criminals after escaping from Cessnock jail in 1980, during which time he robbed banks.In the 1970s, Powch was involved in armed hold-ups with Ivan Milat, who was cleared of the charges but went on to become a serial killer.By the mid-1980s, Powch was the right-hand man for major drug importer David Kelleher and jailed in 1985 for 18 years for conspiring to import heroin.” (www.perthnow.com)
So, not only is he a rapist, he has committed multiple armed robberies, escaped from jail previously, kept company with a serial murderer, and imported heroin to poison children and fund terrorism ... so of course if he can’t get it up take him out of prison and drive him to the urologist ... ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!!!!!
There are so many things wrong with this I just don’t know ... c’mon Australia get in the game, don’t be like us and get all soft ... where’s Crocodile Dundee? Let Mick Dundee be this guy’s urologist Australia, one little swing of his mammoth knife and all future appointments can be canceled, Dr. Dundee can fix this for you in an instant ... “That’s not erectile dysfunction (knife comes out) “kerhunk” ... now, that’s erectile dysfunction.” Problem solved.
I’m so tired of poor people’s tax money being spent like it doesn’t matter ... people work hard for that money, maybe act like it means something to you (not just Australia, everyone).
And I hate to have a one story day, so here’s something that didn’t make our news that you’d probably like to know about ... I mean it seems like it would be important, but after all maybe there was no room left since we need to hear more about Tiger Wood’s melt down. I would hate to miss any of that and waste my time learning about actual people actually suffering ... so here it is. Tens of thousands of villagers in the Philippines have fled their homes after one of the nation's most active volcanoes spewed lava and sent ash plumes high into the sky. Soldiers and police marshaled the evacuation from the danger zone around the foothills of the Mayon volcano, amid concerns a big eruption could occur at any moment.
"After the series of ash puffs and ash explosions of 1000 meters (high), we cannot rule out a major explosion,'' said Cedric Daep, the head of disaster relief operations in the region. He said authorities aimed to evacuate nearly 50,000 people from villages within 8km of the volcano by tomorrow. Albay provincial governor Joey Salceda said that nearly 21,000 people had been evacuated by nightfall yesterday.
"Zero casualties is still the goal of our province,'' he told the ABS-CBN network. Some residents were carried out on military trucks, while others walked out carrying boxes of belongings on their heads.
Happy Tuesday, and don't forget to comment.
Monday, December 14, 2009
No Christmas for Immigrants!
Today’s post is brought to you by the Salvation Army who have decided that it would be “super christmassy” to release a statement denouncing gays and to demand that gift recipients in Texas show their social security cards before getting any Christmas presents for their children, because nothing shows the love of Christ like refusing to help foreigners whose kids have no toys.
OK, so in some technology news the lost e-mails from the Bush administration have been found. You remember right? Congress subpoenaed the e-mails a few years ago and the White House responded by deleting, I mean losing, I mean what e-mails? So in the end the ex-President said that no e-mails were missing and then, the other day, the not missing e-mails were found ... all 22 million of them! I can see how they could be over looked, after all 25 million e-mails would be obvious, but I over look the first 22 million messages in my “in box” all the time. So now we can see what they were hiding right? Right? Wrong. Federal regulations do not allow for the e-mails in question to become public until 2014 because the clock does not begin ticking for release until they are received by the National Archives. So right about the time that no one alive cares anymore, you’ll be able to peruse the correspondence Bush doesn’t want you to see. That’s comforting.
In crazy Italian news, the Prime Minister of Italy was hit in the face with a model of a gothic cathedral while he was signing autographs. If looking at the photographs of the aftermath on Silvio Berlusconi’s face tell us anything it’s that Milan needs to stop selling souvenirs made of granite. It’s not that bad? No, it’s that bad ... he’s got broken teeth, a broken nose and his lip is busted apart. Massimo Tartaglia, the loon who did it has some history of mental “issues”, that history now includes attacking heads of state with little churches ... Massimo has since thought better of the attack and written the P.M. a letter, from jail, apologizing for his “... cowardly actions...” he was not instantly pardoned upon recipt of the letter. I’m shocked. So before you get on the secret service for letting a blond and her idiot husband into a White House function ... just be glad that President Obama isn’t having his face smashed in by crazy model enthusiasts.
Berlusconi has blamed a “culture of hate” for the attack ... cuz people don’t like him and have been posting praise for the attacker on the internet. I know nothing about the guy, but when the people you represent are happy that you get your face smashed in ... it’s time to rethink what you’re doing. Maybe it’s time to find a whole new career, maybe you could charge people to dunk you in a dunk tank ... just a thought.
In history rising from the dead and talking to us news, Soviet General Victor Yermakov, who commanded the Soviet forces in Afghanistan from 1982-1983, made a statement earlier this week and in it he stated that, “We did not succeed and you will not either, they (the Afghan people) did not trust us and they will not trust you either.” and Russian ambassador to Afghanistan Zamir Kabulov decided to chime in by adding, “There is no mistake made by the Soviet Union that the international forces have not repeated.” HOW DARE YOU SIR! What do those commies know about Afghanistan any way? I refuse to believe that a couple of old Russians could possibly know more than President ...oh ... really ... they did what? ...they already tried to stabilize Afghanistan by invading and forcing diverse ethnic and tribal groups to submit to a central authority that they had propped up in Kabul?
It didn’t work?
Who knew.
Alright so maybe the commies know about this whole “Afghan invasion” thing ... but they didn’t have truth, justice and the American Way in their side. So here’s how it’s totally different, When Mikhail Gorbachev came to power in 1985 he expressed impatience with the Soviet war in Afghanistan and demanded that a solution be found with-in a one year deadline. As a result the Soviet forces were increased to 108,800, fighting increased, and 1985 became the bloodiest year of the war. Despite heavy casualties, the resistance to Soviet occupation never lessened and 4 years later the great Red Army went home in complete defeat. See, that’s nothing like Obama wanting a deadline, increasing troop deployment to over 100,000 and fighting against an insurgency that cannot be defeated.
What do you mean it’s exactly the same thing?
When we bring our troops home in 4 years we will have victoriously changed nothing at all in Afghanistan ... well, we did get the Taliban to invade Pakistan. Those guys had it coming.
And finally, in personal news ... don’t listen to my wife who had decided to accuse me of knocking over the Christmas tree twice on her blog lovelaughterandonecrazylife.blogspot.com, it was clearly her fault that the tree fell over and since there was noone there to witness it, you’re just going to have to take my word for it ... pretty much everything else she accused me of is true ... except the whole nail thing, it was only one nail, and well ... alright, I’m a bit ashamed of that one.
OK, so in some technology news the lost e-mails from the Bush administration have been found. You remember right? Congress subpoenaed the e-mails a few years ago and the White House responded by deleting, I mean losing, I mean what e-mails? So in the end the ex-President said that no e-mails were missing and then, the other day, the not missing e-mails were found ... all 22 million of them! I can see how they could be over looked, after all 25 million e-mails would be obvious, but I over look the first 22 million messages in my “in box” all the time. So now we can see what they were hiding right? Right? Wrong. Federal regulations do not allow for the e-mails in question to become public until 2014 because the clock does not begin ticking for release until they are received by the National Archives. So right about the time that no one alive cares anymore, you’ll be able to peruse the correspondence Bush doesn’t want you to see. That’s comforting.
In crazy Italian news, the Prime Minister of Italy was hit in the face with a model of a gothic cathedral while he was signing autographs. If looking at the photographs of the aftermath on Silvio Berlusconi’s face tell us anything it’s that Milan needs to stop selling souvenirs made of granite. It’s not that bad? No, it’s that bad ... he’s got broken teeth, a broken nose and his lip is busted apart. Massimo Tartaglia, the loon who did it has some history of mental “issues”, that history now includes attacking heads of state with little churches ... Massimo has since thought better of the attack and written the P.M. a letter, from jail, apologizing for his “... cowardly actions...” he was not instantly pardoned upon recipt of the letter. I’m shocked. So before you get on the secret service for letting a blond and her idiot husband into a White House function ... just be glad that President Obama isn’t having his face smashed in by crazy model enthusiasts.
Berlusconi has blamed a “culture of hate” for the attack ... cuz people don’t like him and have been posting praise for the attacker on the internet. I know nothing about the guy, but when the people you represent are happy that you get your face smashed in ... it’s time to rethink what you’re doing. Maybe it’s time to find a whole new career, maybe you could charge people to dunk you in a dunk tank ... just a thought.
In history rising from the dead and talking to us news, Soviet General Victor Yermakov, who commanded the Soviet forces in Afghanistan from 1982-1983, made a statement earlier this week and in it he stated that, “We did not succeed and you will not either, they (the Afghan people) did not trust us and they will not trust you either.” and Russian ambassador to Afghanistan Zamir Kabulov decided to chime in by adding, “There is no mistake made by the Soviet Union that the international forces have not repeated.” HOW DARE YOU SIR! What do those commies know about Afghanistan any way? I refuse to believe that a couple of old Russians could possibly know more than President ...oh ... really ... they did what? ...they already tried to stabilize Afghanistan by invading and forcing diverse ethnic and tribal groups to submit to a central authority that they had propped up in Kabul?
It didn’t work?
Who knew.
Alright so maybe the commies know about this whole “Afghan invasion” thing ... but they didn’t have truth, justice and the American Way in their side. So here’s how it’s totally different, When Mikhail Gorbachev came to power in 1985 he expressed impatience with the Soviet war in Afghanistan and demanded that a solution be found with-in a one year deadline. As a result the Soviet forces were increased to 108,800, fighting increased, and 1985 became the bloodiest year of the war. Despite heavy casualties, the resistance to Soviet occupation never lessened and 4 years later the great Red Army went home in complete defeat. See, that’s nothing like Obama wanting a deadline, increasing troop deployment to over 100,000 and fighting against an insurgency that cannot be defeated.
What do you mean it’s exactly the same thing?
When we bring our troops home in 4 years we will have victoriously changed nothing at all in Afghanistan ... well, we did get the Taliban to invade Pakistan. Those guys had it coming.
And finally, in personal news ... don’t listen to my wife who had decided to accuse me of knocking over the Christmas tree twice on her blog lovelaughterandonecrazylife.blogspot.com, it was clearly her fault that the tree fell over and since there was noone there to witness it, you’re just going to have to take my word for it ... pretty much everything else she accused me of is true ... except the whole nail thing, it was only one nail, and well ... alright, I’m a bit ashamed of that one.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Banks just ain't funny.
Ok, so the plan was to have this really funny post about the banking and finance industries and how they tie into government and fiscal policy and global currency exchanges ... do you have ANY idea how hard it is to make that funny? It’s like making the book of Jeremiah funny (for all you bible readers). It’s like making a barbarian pillaging raid funny to the villagers who have been raped and left for dead (for all you non-bible readers). So I’ll keep working on that and get back to it.
Today’s post is brought to you by people who have no idea what they’re talking about but are so loud and relentless that actual smart people stop arguing with them and agree just to end the discussion. You know that guy too? Weird.
In a story that will get all the Area 51 conspiracy nuts hot and bothered ... on Wednesday night the people of Norway were treated to a spectacular display of spiraling light with a blue/green beam bursting out of the center. If you haven’t seen the pictures, check it out. People immediately assumed that the aliens had come for them, and began calling the police and news outlets to report the alien invasion. Moments later the Russians admitted that it was really a failed missile test ... the 7th time this new missile has failed in testing ... out of 12 tries. Sure Russia, sure it was a missile ... obviously a cover up for the crashed UFO that as you read this is being taken to a secret Russian Air force base and hidden underground for screwballs worldwide to speculate about for the next 50 years. But seriously, wasn’t the president in Norway today? Lemme get this right, the Russians are testing unreliable military delivery systems over the President of the United States’ hotel room? First the party crashers and now this! Has anyone told the secret service what their job is yet? They are supposed to keep the guy alive. And Russia, what in the world happened to you? You used to be scarey, a worthy opponent in the global game of dominos/prop up governments up that kill lots of their own people. Now you have multiple billion dollar missiles that make pretty clouds 58% of the time? Lemme clue you in, they’re supposed to go boom. Oh, and hide the alien.
In Crazy North Carolina red neck news, the police in Charlotte have arrested a 57 year old day care owner for selling moonshine while she was supposed to be watching other people’s children. Yes, that’s right, when the undercover agent went into the day care to buy the 2 gallons of moonshine the lady was watching your children. So of course the lady explained the “misunderstanding” to the police. You see her neighbor gave her the package and she had no idea what was in it, he just told her to sell it for $80 ... I know that when people give me packages to take to work and sell to strangers I never ask any questions ... oh and the neighbor? He’s 82 and they arrested him too. Yup he was arrested and the 400 gallons of moonshine he had in his house (read “single wide”) were confiscated. All in all just your typical Wednesday in Charlotte. The only thing missing is a mention of someone driving a ‘77 el Camino.
And now for two stories that involve complete insanity. In Iraq yesterday there was a “wave of coordinated attacks” that blew up two government buildings and killed 127 people. It’s good to see that whole withdrawal thing working out for the Iraqi people, sure seems like the National Security Force has the situation under control.
And in Brazil the organization Human Rights Watch came out with a report that stated in the past 6 years the police have killed 11,000 people. Yes that’s over 2,000 people per year. So of course the government denied the report and had some logical explanation ... right? No. Their response said that the killings were “a problem that they are aware of”. Don’t worry Brazilians who are going to be killed by the police this year ... I’m sure that they’re working on it.
Ok, so I was going to close with some commentary on the president’s speech in Norway today ... he accepted th Nobel Peace Prize (you know, the award that Ghandi and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. And Mandella and the disarmed IRA won for promoting peace) and as part of the deal he gets to give a speech. So I was going to break it down for you, but I’m just going to give you some excerpts and as you’re reading them just remember he was accepting the Nobel PEACE Prize ...
"A nonviolent movement could not have halted Hitler's armies. Negotiations cannot convince al-Qaida's leaders to lay down their arms," Obama said. "To say that force is sometimes necessary is not a call to cynicism, it is a recognition of history."
"some will kill, some will be killed."
"No matter how justified, war promises human tragedy,"
"There will be times when nations -- acting individually or in concert -- will find the use of force not only necessary but morally justified."
"Martin Luther King Jr. said in this same ceremony years ago: 'Violence never brings permanent peace. It solves no social problem: it merely creates new and more complicated ones.'" (at least someone is making sense, thanks MLK)
"So yes, the instruments of war do have a role to play in preserving the peace"
"Oh, it's not the War prize? Are you sure ... peace prize you say ... are you sure? So you're sure... ? Oh, well i can throw out THIS whole speech." (quote made up ... but the rest of them are real.)
"Mr President it's time to recieve your peace prize ... "-random Secret Service agent.
"Hold on Bill, i'm bombing the afghan countryside, i'll be right there"- Obama
Today’s post is brought to you by people who have no idea what they’re talking about but are so loud and relentless that actual smart people stop arguing with them and agree just to end the discussion. You know that guy too? Weird.
In a story that will get all the Area 51 conspiracy nuts hot and bothered ... on Wednesday night the people of Norway were treated to a spectacular display of spiraling light with a blue/green beam bursting out of the center. If you haven’t seen the pictures, check it out. People immediately assumed that the aliens had come for them, and began calling the police and news outlets to report the alien invasion. Moments later the Russians admitted that it was really a failed missile test ... the 7th time this new missile has failed in testing ... out of 12 tries. Sure Russia, sure it was a missile ... obviously a cover up for the crashed UFO that as you read this is being taken to a secret Russian Air force base and hidden underground for screwballs worldwide to speculate about for the next 50 years. But seriously, wasn’t the president in Norway today? Lemme get this right, the Russians are testing unreliable military delivery systems over the President of the United States’ hotel room? First the party crashers and now this! Has anyone told the secret service what their job is yet? They are supposed to keep the guy alive. And Russia, what in the world happened to you? You used to be scarey, a worthy opponent in the global game of dominos/prop up governments up that kill lots of their own people. Now you have multiple billion dollar missiles that make pretty clouds 58% of the time? Lemme clue you in, they’re supposed to go boom. Oh, and hide the alien.
In Crazy North Carolina red neck news, the police in Charlotte have arrested a 57 year old day care owner for selling moonshine while she was supposed to be watching other people’s children. Yes, that’s right, when the undercover agent went into the day care to buy the 2 gallons of moonshine the lady was watching your children. So of course the lady explained the “misunderstanding” to the police. You see her neighbor gave her the package and she had no idea what was in it, he just told her to sell it for $80 ... I know that when people give me packages to take to work and sell to strangers I never ask any questions ... oh and the neighbor? He’s 82 and they arrested him too. Yup he was arrested and the 400 gallons of moonshine he had in his house (read “single wide”) were confiscated. All in all just your typical Wednesday in Charlotte. The only thing missing is a mention of someone driving a ‘77 el Camino.
And now for two stories that involve complete insanity. In Iraq yesterday there was a “wave of coordinated attacks” that blew up two government buildings and killed 127 people. It’s good to see that whole withdrawal thing working out for the Iraqi people, sure seems like the National Security Force has the situation under control.
And in Brazil the organization Human Rights Watch came out with a report that stated in the past 6 years the police have killed 11,000 people. Yes that’s over 2,000 people per year. So of course the government denied the report and had some logical explanation ... right? No. Their response said that the killings were “a problem that they are aware of”. Don’t worry Brazilians who are going to be killed by the police this year ... I’m sure that they’re working on it.
Ok, so I was going to close with some commentary on the president’s speech in Norway today ... he accepted th Nobel Peace Prize (you know, the award that Ghandi and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. And Mandella and the disarmed IRA won for promoting peace) and as part of the deal he gets to give a speech. So I was going to break it down for you, but I’m just going to give you some excerpts and as you’re reading them just remember he was accepting the Nobel PEACE Prize ...
"A nonviolent movement could not have halted Hitler's armies. Negotiations cannot convince al-Qaida's leaders to lay down their arms," Obama said. "To say that force is sometimes necessary is not a call to cynicism, it is a recognition of history."
"some will kill, some will be killed."
"No matter how justified, war promises human tragedy,"
"There will be times when nations -- acting individually or in concert -- will find the use of force not only necessary but morally justified."
"Martin Luther King Jr. said in this same ceremony years ago: 'Violence never brings permanent peace. It solves no social problem: it merely creates new and more complicated ones.'" (at least someone is making sense, thanks MLK)
"So yes, the instruments of war do have a role to play in preserving the peace"
"Oh, it's not the War prize? Are you sure ... peace prize you say ... are you sure? So you're sure... ? Oh, well i can throw out THIS whole speech." (quote made up ... but the rest of them are real.)
"Mr President it's time to recieve your peace prize ... "-random Secret Service agent.
"Hold on Bill, i'm bombing the afghan countryside, i'll be right there"- Obama
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Sleep Deprovation
On a serious note today’s post is brought to you in the reverential memory of Fred Hampton. 40 years ago on December 4th Fred Hampton was shot multiple times and killed by the Chicago police department while he lay in his bed at home. Love or hate his politics, he was a promising and charismatic young man who wanted to see real changes in this country and wanted more than anything to improve the lives of those left disenfranchised in our nation. He was only 21 years old.
The reactionary instigators in the mainstream media are reporting that the government of Uganda has proposed using capital punishment in instances where people are convicted of being gay. How do they sleep at night?!? That not what it says! The law now being considered by their parliament only proposes putting to death those convicted of same-sex rape ... consensual homosexuals would only get life in prison. Wait, what?!? Oh. Carry on mainstream media, let the lambasting of Uganda continue. The law actually says that if you fail to report friends or family members for being “the gay” you can be sentenced to 7 years in prison. Landlords who rent to homosexuals will also get seven years. Africans don’t have enough reasons to hate and kill each other, so this is good, it gives them something to do. John Muwanguzi Ugandan “everyman”, is much more reasonable, and thinks the current bill is ludicrous, “I feel that the bill is good and necessary, but I don't think gays should be killed. They should be imprisoned for about a year and warned never to do it again. The family is in danger in Uganda because the rate at which vice is spreading is appalling." .I mean, a year in prison sounds harsh, but compared to the death penalty it’s not so bad. So I’m going to vote for Muwanguzi. And it makes me realize that while we don't agree about which rights homosexuals should have in this country i'm glad that we live in a country that recognizes that they have rights and we aren't trying to imprison them or kill them.
In morons from Nebraska news, Mr. Terrance Wanatabi is broke. He made his fortune running his father’s party favor import business into the ground.. Then, in 2007, he went to Las Vegas and lost $127 MILLION in a single year. Now he’s been arrested and charged with fraud due to unpaid gambling debts and in response he’s decided to sue the casino for plying him with genrous amounts of alcohol and prescription drugs. You mean to say that when you go in a casino and they offer you free drinks while you’re gambling it’s not because they want to be your friend? That’s what casinos do you idiot! They get you drunk so that you lose money making bad decisions ... here’s how it works, you bet and win a little, casino offers free drinks and you lose the money you won, they offer more free drinks and you lose the rest of the money you brought to gamble, then you wake up in the morning broke and hung over and think to yourself “why did I do that, it was so stupid” then you go HOME! You don’t sell your father’s company and stay for a year losing money the whole time! Why blame just the casino, sue your dead father for raising such a buffoon and giving him a fortune while you’re at it.
Ah Greece, home of one of the greatest civilizations in history, inventors of democracy, philosophy, perfecters of theater ... how the mighty have fallen. A year ago in Greece they rioted in the streets in response to a young unarmed man being shot by police. So how did they celebrate the one year anniversary of the tragedy? Candle light vigil? Prayer meeting? Memorial service? Meeting with police to discuss improvements made? No, they had a commemorative riot. Buildings were destroyed and they threw home made gasoline bombs at the police sent out to disperse the crowd. Not exactly 300 Spartans standing up to an empire facing certain destruction is it? No it’s more like 30 jerks trying to kill some Greek police men by burning them alive.
Next post is tomorrow and is about finance ... it would have been today but it's going to take an extra day to figure how to make it interesting.
The reactionary instigators in the mainstream media are reporting that the government of Uganda has proposed using capital punishment in instances where people are convicted of being gay. How do they sleep at night?!? That not what it says! The law now being considered by their parliament only proposes putting to death those convicted of same-sex rape ... consensual homosexuals would only get life in prison. Wait, what?!? Oh. Carry on mainstream media, let the lambasting of Uganda continue. The law actually says that if you fail to report friends or family members for being “the gay” you can be sentenced to 7 years in prison. Landlords who rent to homosexuals will also get seven years. Africans don’t have enough reasons to hate and kill each other, so this is good, it gives them something to do. John Muwanguzi Ugandan “everyman”, is much more reasonable, and thinks the current bill is ludicrous, “I feel that the bill is good and necessary, but I don't think gays should be killed. They should be imprisoned for about a year and warned never to do it again. The family is in danger in Uganda because the rate at which vice is spreading is appalling." .I mean, a year in prison sounds harsh, but compared to the death penalty it’s not so bad. So I’m going to vote for Muwanguzi. And it makes me realize that while we don't agree about which rights homosexuals should have in this country i'm glad that we live in a country that recognizes that they have rights and we aren't trying to imprison them or kill them.
In morons from Nebraska news, Mr. Terrance Wanatabi is broke. He made his fortune running his father’s party favor import business into the ground.. Then, in 2007, he went to Las Vegas and lost $127 MILLION in a single year. Now he’s been arrested and charged with fraud due to unpaid gambling debts and in response he’s decided to sue the casino for plying him with genrous amounts of alcohol and prescription drugs. You mean to say that when you go in a casino and they offer you free drinks while you’re gambling it’s not because they want to be your friend? That’s what casinos do you idiot! They get you drunk so that you lose money making bad decisions ... here’s how it works, you bet and win a little, casino offers free drinks and you lose the money you won, they offer more free drinks and you lose the rest of the money you brought to gamble, then you wake up in the morning broke and hung over and think to yourself “why did I do that, it was so stupid” then you go HOME! You don’t sell your father’s company and stay for a year losing money the whole time! Why blame just the casino, sue your dead father for raising such a buffoon and giving him a fortune while you’re at it.
Ah Greece, home of one of the greatest civilizations in history, inventors of democracy, philosophy, perfecters of theater ... how the mighty have fallen. A year ago in Greece they rioted in the streets in response to a young unarmed man being shot by police. So how did they celebrate the one year anniversary of the tragedy? Candle light vigil? Prayer meeting? Memorial service? Meeting with police to discuss improvements made? No, they had a commemorative riot. Buildings were destroyed and they threw home made gasoline bombs at the police sent out to disperse the crowd. Not exactly 300 Spartans standing up to an empire facing certain destruction is it? No it’s more like 30 jerks trying to kill some Greek police men by burning them alive.
Next post is tomorrow and is about finance ... it would have been today but it's going to take an extra day to figure how to make it interesting.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
The metamorphosis continues.
Todays post is brought to you by the unemployment rate! Hooray for new data that shows the unemployment rate shrinking from 10.2% all the way down to 10.1%. Thank goodness for that! Oh, and i know what you're thinking, but it has nothing to do with the fact that there were more layoffs but the number of people who gave up looking for work they are qualified for and took part time work making minimum wage so that they could feed themselves slightly exceeded the number of people laid off. Also, i do not at all buy into the idea that large corporations have figured out that the unemployment report scares their customers into not spending money and in turn they have found ways to cut peoples hours/wages/benefits instead of laying them off. That's just silly. So here's to the 0.1% of people that are now un-unemployed and all the projections that show a major recovery so imminent that i can almost taste it.
Okay, so today i was listening to the radio on my way to buy a 89 cent burrito at Taco Bell (i was going to get a 99 cent burger, but i could only find 93 pennies under the seat in my car) and a guy who works for the "Mutual Fund Store" was telling his audience that mutual funds were a great place to invest their money right now and that the economy was going to rebound very soon and so would the market (ie. mutual funds). Really? That's like me telling you that it is a great time to invest all your money in tires for your car, and maybe some coolant flushes. I mean you can never have too many coolant flushes. Could the guy have made any more self-serving predictions? How about, "I think that my personal checking account is a great place to invest your money"? I'm sure that the Fed's fiscal policy is just getting ready to fix the whole massive unpayable debt/ no jobs/ falsified earnings reports/ inevitable hyper inflation. So yeah ... go buy mutual funds.
In Florida news, Pasco County (for you non-Floridians that's like the New Jersey of Tampa Bay, well it's like New Jersey with more trailer parks and cows and less disgraced govenors and Trans-Ams) has announced that they have their third official death directly due to H1N1 this year. So directly means that the person died from H1N1 and that if it wasn't for the piggy-flu they would still be driving their pick up around Pasco county ... right? So the man was really healthy except for the H1N1 and the " ... multiple chronic underlying medical conditions." My heart goes out to the man and his family. That said, isn't this a bit like blaming the death of a 106 year old on blood thinners who has had 16 by-pass surgeries and two stokes on the flu. If the state of your health is best described using words like "chronic" and "underlying" with "multiple" thrown in for good measure can we really say the flu killed you? Or is it more accurate to say he died and ... by the way, he also had the flu?
In sports news, Florida lost to Alabama proving once and for all that Florida coach Urban Meyer's insistance that Tim Tebow include the other 10 players on the offense is a huge miscalculation. If only Tebow had been out there by himself the Gators would have rushed for 16,000 yards and Tebow would finally been able to prove that he can complete a "go rout" pass to himself like he claims. In other sports news England will be avenging that whole "uppity colonist" debacle from the late 18th century in March when they embarress their former posession on the "Football pitch" during the world cup's first round of play.
In celebrity news Chris Brown stated in an interview that he "never, ever had problems with anger." Which would be great if he hadn't beaten and choked his girlfriend because she made him angry. Well, i guess tecnically she was the one who had the problem with his anger, in this case the problem she had was breathing and seeing through her swolen eye. When is Chris Brown going to go away and just hide in the cave that Ike Turner spent 20 years in?
In closing i need some help coming up with a great Christmas present idea for my wife ... Angela don't read this part ... so if you have any ideas please share in the comments section. If you're thinking Rolex ... you probably need to think more Timex. Thanks.
Okay, so today i was listening to the radio on my way to buy a 89 cent burrito at Taco Bell (i was going to get a 99 cent burger, but i could only find 93 pennies under the seat in my car) and a guy who works for the "Mutual Fund Store" was telling his audience that mutual funds were a great place to invest their money right now and that the economy was going to rebound very soon and so would the market (ie. mutual funds). Really? That's like me telling you that it is a great time to invest all your money in tires for your car, and maybe some coolant flushes. I mean you can never have too many coolant flushes. Could the guy have made any more self-serving predictions? How about, "I think that my personal checking account is a great place to invest your money"? I'm sure that the Fed's fiscal policy is just getting ready to fix the whole massive unpayable debt/ no jobs/ falsified earnings reports/ inevitable hyper inflation. So yeah ... go buy mutual funds.
In Florida news, Pasco County (for you non-Floridians that's like the New Jersey of Tampa Bay, well it's like New Jersey with more trailer parks and cows and less disgraced govenors and Trans-Ams) has announced that they have their third official death directly due to H1N1 this year. So directly means that the person died from H1N1 and that if it wasn't for the piggy-flu they would still be driving their pick up around Pasco county ... right? So the man was really healthy except for the H1N1 and the " ... multiple chronic underlying medical conditions." My heart goes out to the man and his family. That said, isn't this a bit like blaming the death of a 106 year old on blood thinners who has had 16 by-pass surgeries and two stokes on the flu. If the state of your health is best described using words like "chronic" and "underlying" with "multiple" thrown in for good measure can we really say the flu killed you? Or is it more accurate to say he died and ... by the way, he also had the flu?
In sports news, Florida lost to Alabama proving once and for all that Florida coach Urban Meyer's insistance that Tim Tebow include the other 10 players on the offense is a huge miscalculation. If only Tebow had been out there by himself the Gators would have rushed for 16,000 yards and Tebow would finally been able to prove that he can complete a "go rout" pass to himself like he claims. In other sports news England will be avenging that whole "uppity colonist" debacle from the late 18th century in March when they embarress their former posession on the "Football pitch" during the world cup's first round of play.
In celebrity news Chris Brown stated in an interview that he "never, ever had problems with anger." Which would be great if he hadn't beaten and choked his girlfriend because she made him angry. Well, i guess tecnically she was the one who had the problem with his anger, in this case the problem she had was breathing and seeing through her swolen eye. When is Chris Brown going to go away and just hide in the cave that Ike Turner spent 20 years in?
In closing i need some help coming up with a great Christmas present idea for my wife ... Angela don't read this part ... so if you have any ideas please share in the comments section. If you're thinking Rolex ... you probably need to think more Timex. Thanks.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Friday, Welcome Home!
Today's post is brought to you by people who trample their friends and neighbors to death in search of flat screen TVs. That's the kind of determination and focus that this country was founded upon ... refusal to yeild to measly obsticles like human decency, the half dead bodies of weaker shoppers and empathy again won the day last friday!
So the apellate court of Florida ruled this week that the state legislature does not have the right to ignore a request of the Sons of the Confederacy to have a conferate flag vanity plate here in the great state of Florida. The law apparently says that if you have $20,000 and 30,000 signatures you can have any lisence plate that you want. So that's why there are 500 choices at the tag office down here. I don't know where to start with this one. There are 30,000 racist morons in Florida? I for one am shocked! The Florida lesislature has a law on the books that is poorly thought out and allows for people to drown minorities in our history of brutality, murder, rape and enslavement? C'mon ... i can't believe it! I mean honestly, it's really not enough that i drive by a confederate flag the size of a football field everyday at the intersection of the two busiest interstates in Tampa, i would like to also see it with a state sanctioned registration sticker on it.
And in the land of the sympathy strike (France), a place where every working person goes on strike if plumbers want a raise and even emergency room doctors are in a labor union, the workers at the Louvre have decided to strike in protest of potential layoffs. I mean why should you lay off museum workers just because no one is going to the museum and in coming revenue has become as scarce as cheese without mold on it . I know, they could sell the Mona Lisa to China and use the money to pay for the extra ticket takers and guys who wear red jackets while standing around in a very official manner. That or they could have special exhibits that French people would love like paintings of people running away, or a whole room full of white flags. Or there's always the participatory exhibit where regular French people could blow filterless cigarette smoke in the faces of American tourist families. That one i bet they could charge at least 100 euros just for, lines around the block.. Problem solved.
This one hits pretty close to home on a bunch of fronts, and i know what you're thinking, but i was never abused by a nun. In Ireland the "Sisters of Mercy" order of catholic nuns have agreed to pay $193 million dollars in damages as part of a settlement for 14,000 victims of "systematic and chronic" child abuse by 18 different catholic orders who had children in their care. $90 million will be paid in cash and the rest in property holdings. That's right the Sisters of Mercy have $193 MILLION in assets that they can spare ... nuns ... nuns in a country that until very recently plagued by poverty and unemployment. Aparenty the abuse of the children included beating them up and taking their lunch money ... everyday for the past 800 years.
And i suppose i have to weigh in on the Tiger Woods thing ... i mean, everyone else is. So i don't really care about his relationship with his wife, he's right, it is private. It's completly up to her if she wants to forgive him or not (double the pre-nup) but have you seen the tramps he was running around with? Two words for you Tiger, Penicillin Bath ... rince and repeat buddy, rince and repeat.
So the apellate court of Florida ruled this week that the state legislature does not have the right to ignore a request of the Sons of the Confederacy to have a conferate flag vanity plate here in the great state of Florida. The law apparently says that if you have $20,000 and 30,000 signatures you can have any lisence plate that you want. So that's why there are 500 choices at the tag office down here. I don't know where to start with this one. There are 30,000 racist morons in Florida? I for one am shocked! The Florida lesislature has a law on the books that is poorly thought out and allows for people to drown minorities in our history of brutality, murder, rape and enslavement? C'mon ... i can't believe it! I mean honestly, it's really not enough that i drive by a confederate flag the size of a football field everyday at the intersection of the two busiest interstates in Tampa, i would like to also see it with a state sanctioned registration sticker on it.
And in the land of the sympathy strike (France), a place where every working person goes on strike if plumbers want a raise and even emergency room doctors are in a labor union, the workers at the Louvre have decided to strike in protest of potential layoffs. I mean why should you lay off museum workers just because no one is going to the museum and in coming revenue has become as scarce as cheese without mold on it . I know, they could sell the Mona Lisa to China and use the money to pay for the extra ticket takers and guys who wear red jackets while standing around in a very official manner. That or they could have special exhibits that French people would love like paintings of people running away, or a whole room full of white flags. Or there's always the participatory exhibit where regular French people could blow filterless cigarette smoke in the faces of American tourist families. That one i bet they could charge at least 100 euros just for, lines around the block.. Problem solved.
This one hits pretty close to home on a bunch of fronts, and i know what you're thinking, but i was never abused by a nun. In Ireland the "Sisters of Mercy" order of catholic nuns have agreed to pay $193 million dollars in damages as part of a settlement for 14,000 victims of "systematic and chronic" child abuse by 18 different catholic orders who had children in their care. $90 million will be paid in cash and the rest in property holdings. That's right the Sisters of Mercy have $193 MILLION in assets that they can spare ... nuns ... nuns in a country that until very recently plagued by poverty and unemployment. Aparenty the abuse of the children included beating them up and taking their lunch money ... everyday for the past 800 years.
And i suppose i have to weigh in on the Tiger Woods thing ... i mean, everyone else is. So i don't really care about his relationship with his wife, he's right, it is private. It's completly up to her if she wants to forgive him or not (double the pre-nup) but have you seen the tramps he was running around with? Two words for you Tiger, Penicillin Bath ... rince and repeat buddy, rince and repeat.
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