Today's post is brought to you by .... I DID IT AGAIN! Ok, no one actually caught me, so i could probably get away with it, but then how could i go on being both of your's source for news and commentary? The inept terrorist that blew up his pants (or Knicker-bomber) is not from Kenya as i reported to you yesterday. He is actuall Nigerian which is siomilar except that Nigeria has a good soccer team and Kenya has the guys that win every marathon on earth. So i apologize and i won't do it again, well maybe i will.
So today's news- National Steak and Poultry is voluntarily recalling about 248,000 pounds of beef it said might be contaminated with a strain of E. coli bacteria. The company said the meat could be linked to illnesses in six states. Ok, sick people, it's sad and all ... but 248,000 pounds?!? A quarter million pounds of cow? How many cows is that? What are they going to do with a quarter million pounds of bacteria habitat? You can't just flush it down the toilet.
In Charlie Sheen news- No he didn't get arrested for soliciting prostitutes, no he didn't get arrested for drug posession, no he didn't get arrested for threatening Denise Richards, he just got arrested for choaking his new wife and attacking her with a knife. Yes you read that right, someone was stupid enough to marry Charlie Sheen. I didn't even know he got remaried ... congratulations to you both! And to the future ex-Mrs Sheen, i'm sure there's another fish in the crazy sea just waiting for you.
In other news- I seriously suggest that you all stop worshiping at the alter of technology. If you want to write to some one buy an envelope and a stamp, if you want to know the weather look outside and if you want to navigate buy a compass and a map. Remember maps? Those things that they sell in the gas station (yes they're still there) that fold out and have pictures of roads and towns and train tracks and show where the rivers are and stuff ... remember? They worked fine for a couple of thousand years, but they're not good enough anymore are they? No, now you need a computer hooked to a satelite that tells you there is a traffic back up and suggests an alternate route, you're far too busy to wait in traffic ... "A Nevada couple letting their SUV's navigation system guide them through the high desert of Eastern Oregon got stuck in snow for three days when the GPS unit sent them down a remote forest road." Can you imagine that scene for a second? Husband and wife, stuck in a snowbank for three days after making a wrong turn ... GPS to blame or no GPS to blame, it is a credit to them both that they are both still alive. I mean seriously, i used to think that wallpapering a bathroom together was the ultimate test for couples (that's what my Dad told me) but 3 days to talk about who's to blame for the two of you slowly starving to death ... we have a winner!
And today we close with some news from the Islamic world that does not involve Yemen ... yes there are countries over there other than Yemen. Protests broke out yesterday in Iran. I guess that some of the people there aren't happy with no jobs or food and elections that don't really count and a couple of religous guys running everything (it's called theocracy - thank you very much 10th grade social studies) and the Iranian establishment met to decide how to handle the protest where-by they came up with a rational, practical solution to the issue of peaceful people dissenting in the streets (no union members, they didn't make concessions to please everyone) they sent the police out to meet the protesters and talk them into stopping. So the police did ... using the universal language of randomly shooting people to death. Well done Iran, nothing says "I'm secure with my ideology and the basis for my political power" like murdering everyone who doesn't agree with you. I mean who has time for discourse and the exchange of ideas anymore, especially when it means that you might have to actually allow the person that the people elected (twice, once on election day and then again in a run off) to govern the nation. What an inconvienence ... really so much easier to shoot them in the street.
Question of the day - Where do you stand on your government putting people in prison for not getting health insurance thru a private insurance company?
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