Banks just ain't funny.

Ok, so the plan was to have this really funny post about the banking and finance industries and how they tie into government and fiscal policy and global currency exchanges ... do you have ANY idea how hard it is to make that funny? It’s like making the book of Jeremiah funny (for all you bible readers). It’s like making a barbarian pillaging raid funny to the villagers who have been raped and left for dead (for all you non-bible readers). So I’ll keep working on that and get back to it.

Today’s post is brought to you by people who have no idea what they’re talking about but are so loud and relentless that actual smart people stop arguing with them and agree just to end the discussion. You know that guy too? Weird.

In a story that will get all the Area 51 conspiracy nuts hot and bothered ... on Wednesday night the people of Norway were treated to a spectacular display of spiraling light with a blue/green beam bursting out of the center. If you haven’t seen the pictures, check it out. People immediately assumed that the aliens had come for them, and began calling the police and news outlets to report the alien invasion. Moments later the Russians admitted that it was really a failed missile test ... the 7th time this new missile has failed in testing ... out of 12 tries. Sure Russia, sure it was a missile ... obviously a cover up for the crashed UFO that as you read this is being taken to a secret Russian Air force base and hidden underground for screwballs worldwide to speculate about for the next 50 years. But seriously, wasn’t the president in Norway today? Lemme get this right, the Russians are testing unreliable military delivery systems over the President of the United States’ hotel room? First the party crashers and now this! Has anyone told the secret service what their job is yet? They are supposed to keep the guy alive. And Russia, what in the world happened to you? You used to be scarey, a worthy opponent in the global game of dominos/prop up governments up that kill lots of their own people. Now you have multiple billion dollar missiles that make pretty clouds 58% of the time? Lemme clue you in, they’re supposed to go boom. Oh, and hide the alien.

In Crazy North Carolina red neck news, the police in Charlotte have arrested a 57 year old day care owner for selling moonshine while she was supposed to be watching other people’s children. Yes, that’s right, when the undercover agent went into the day care to buy the 2 gallons of moonshine the lady was watching your children. So of course the lady explained the “misunderstanding” to the police. You see her neighbor gave her the package and she had no idea what was in it, he just told her to sell it for $80 ... I know that when people give me packages to take to work and sell to strangers I never ask any questions ... oh and the neighbor? He’s 82 and they arrested him too. Yup he was arrested and the 400 gallons of moonshine he had in his house (read “single wide”) were confiscated. All in all just your typical Wednesday in Charlotte. The only thing missing is a mention of someone driving a ‘77 el Camino.

And now for two stories that involve complete insanity. In Iraq yesterday there was a “wave of coordinated attacks” that blew up two government buildings and killed 127 people. It’s good to see that whole withdrawal thing working out for the Iraqi people, sure seems like the National Security Force has the situation under control.

And in Brazil the organization Human Rights Watch came out with a report that stated in the past 6 years the police have killed 11,000 people. Yes that’s over 2,000 people per year. So of course the government denied the report and had some logical explanation ... right? No. Their response said that the killings were “a problem that they are aware of”. Don’t worry Brazilians who are going to be killed by the police this year ... I’m sure that they’re working on it.

Ok, so I was going to close with some commentary on the president’s speech in Norway today ... he accepted th Nobel Peace Prize (you know, the award that Ghandi and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. And Mandella and the disarmed IRA won for promoting peace) and as part of the deal he gets to give a speech. So I was going to break it down for you, but I’m just going to give you some excerpts and as you’re reading them just remember he was accepting the Nobel PEACE Prize ...

"A nonviolent movement could not have halted Hitler's armies. Negotiations cannot convince al-Qaida's leaders to lay down their arms," Obama said. "To say that force is sometimes necessary is not a call to cynicism, it is a recognition of history."

"some will kill, some will be killed."

"No matter how justified, war promises human tragedy,"

"There will be times when nations -- acting individually or in concert -- will find the use of force not only necessary but morally justified."

"Martin Luther King Jr. said in this same ceremony years ago: 'Violence never brings permanent peace. It solves no social problem: it merely creates new and more complicated ones.'"  (at least someone is making sense, thanks MLK)

"So yes, the instruments of war do have a role to play in preserving the peace"

"Oh, it's not the War prize? Are you sure ... peace prize you say ... are you sure? So you're sure... ? Oh, well i can throw out THIS whole speech." (quote made up ... but the rest of them are real.)

"Mr President it's time to recieve your peace prize ...  "-random Secret Service agent.
"Hold on Bill, i'm bombing the afghan countryside, i'll be right there"- Obama