Today’s post is brought to you by the Salvation Army who have decided that it would be “super christmassy” to release a statement denouncing gays and to demand that gift recipients in Texas show their social security cards before getting any Christmas presents for their children, because nothing shows the love of Christ like refusing to help foreigners whose kids have no toys.
OK, so in some technology news the lost e-mails from the Bush administration have been found. You remember right? Congress subpoenaed the e-mails a few years ago and the White House responded by deleting, I mean losing, I mean what e-mails? So in the end the ex-President said that no e-mails were missing and then, the other day, the not missing e-mails were found ... all 22 million of them! I can see how they could be over looked, after all 25 million e-mails would be obvious, but I over look the first 22 million messages in my “in box” all the time. So now we can see what they were hiding right? Right? Wrong. Federal regulations do not allow for the e-mails in question to become public until 2014 because the clock does not begin ticking for release until they are received by the National Archives. So right about the time that no one alive cares anymore, you’ll be able to peruse the correspondence Bush doesn’t want you to see. That’s comforting.
In crazy Italian news, the Prime Minister of Italy was hit in the face with a model of a gothic cathedral while he was signing autographs. If looking at the photographs of the aftermath on Silvio Berlusconi’s face tell us anything it’s that Milan needs to stop selling souvenirs made of granite. It’s not that bad? No, it’s that bad ... he’s got broken teeth, a broken nose and his lip is busted apart. Massimo Tartaglia, the loon who did it has some history of mental “issues”, that history now includes attacking heads of state with little churches ... Massimo has since thought better of the attack and written the P.M. a letter, from jail, apologizing for his “... cowardly actions...” he was not instantly pardoned upon recipt of the letter. I’m shocked. So before you get on the secret service for letting a blond and her idiot husband into a White House function ... just be glad that President Obama isn’t having his face smashed in by crazy model enthusiasts.
Berlusconi has blamed a “culture of hate” for the attack ... cuz people don’t like him and have been posting praise for the attacker on the internet. I know nothing about the guy, but when the people you represent are happy that you get your face smashed in ... it’s time to rethink what you’re doing. Maybe it’s time to find a whole new career, maybe you could charge people to dunk you in a dunk tank ... just a thought.
In history rising from the dead and talking to us news, Soviet General Victor Yermakov, who commanded the Soviet forces in Afghanistan from 1982-1983, made a statement earlier this week and in it he stated that, “We did not succeed and you will not either, they (the Afghan people) did not trust us and they will not trust you either.” and Russian ambassador to Afghanistan Zamir Kabulov decided to chime in by adding, “There is no mistake made by the Soviet Union that the international forces have not repeated.” HOW DARE YOU SIR! What do those commies know about Afghanistan any way? I refuse to believe that a couple of old Russians could possibly know more than President ...oh ... really ... they did what? ...they already tried to stabilize Afghanistan by invading and forcing diverse ethnic and tribal groups to submit to a central authority that they had propped up in Kabul?
It didn’t work?
Who knew.
Alright so maybe the commies know about this whole “Afghan invasion” thing ... but they didn’t have truth, justice and the American Way in their side. So here’s how it’s totally different, When Mikhail Gorbachev came to power in 1985 he expressed impatience with the Soviet war in Afghanistan and demanded that a solution be found with-in a one year deadline. As a result the Soviet forces were increased to 108,800, fighting increased, and 1985 became the bloodiest year of the war. Despite heavy casualties, the resistance to Soviet occupation never lessened and 4 years later the great Red Army went home in complete defeat. See, that’s nothing like Obama wanting a deadline, increasing troop deployment to over 100,000 and fighting against an insurgency that cannot be defeated.
What do you mean it’s exactly the same thing?
When we bring our troops home in 4 years we will have victoriously changed nothing at all in Afghanistan ... well, we did get the Taliban to invade Pakistan. Those guys had it coming.
And finally, in personal news ... don’t listen to my wife who had decided to accuse me of knocking over the Christmas tree twice on her blog lovelaughterandonecrazylife.blogspot.com, it was clearly her fault that the tree fell over and since there was noone there to witness it, you’re just going to have to take my word for it ... pretty much everything else she accused me of is true ... except the whole nail thing, it was only one nail, and well ... alright, I’m a bit ashamed of that one.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Banks just ain't funny.
Ok, so the plan was to have this really funny post about the banking and finance industries and how they tie into government and fiscal policy and global currency exchanges ... do you have ANY idea how hard it is to make that funny? It’s like making the book of Jeremiah funny (for all you bible readers). It’s like making a barbarian pillaging raid funny to the villagers who have been raped and left for dead (for all you non-bible readers). So I’ll keep working on that and get back to it.
Today’s post is brought to you by people who have no idea what they’re talking about but are so loud and relentless that actual smart people stop arguing with them and agree just to end the discussion. You know that guy too? Weird.
In a story that will get all the Area 51 conspiracy nuts hot and bothered ... on Wednesday night the people of Norway were treated to a spectacular display of spiraling light with a blue/green beam bursting out of the center. If you haven’t seen the pictures, check it out. People immediately assumed that the aliens had come for them, and began calling the police and news outlets to report the alien invasion. Moments later the Russians admitted that it was really a failed missile test ... the 7th time this new missile has failed in testing ... out of 12 tries. Sure Russia, sure it was a missile ... obviously a cover up for the crashed UFO that as you read this is being taken to a secret Russian Air force base and hidden underground for screwballs worldwide to speculate about for the next 50 years. But seriously, wasn’t the president in Norway today? Lemme get this right, the Russians are testing unreliable military delivery systems over the President of the United States’ hotel room? First the party crashers and now this! Has anyone told the secret service what their job is yet? They are supposed to keep the guy alive. And Russia, what in the world happened to you? You used to be scarey, a worthy opponent in the global game of dominos/prop up governments up that kill lots of their own people. Now you have multiple billion dollar missiles that make pretty clouds 58% of the time? Lemme clue you in, they’re supposed to go boom. Oh, and hide the alien.
In Crazy North Carolina red neck news, the police in Charlotte have arrested a 57 year old day care owner for selling moonshine while she was supposed to be watching other people’s children. Yes, that’s right, when the undercover agent went into the day care to buy the 2 gallons of moonshine the lady was watching your children. So of course the lady explained the “misunderstanding” to the police. You see her neighbor gave her the package and she had no idea what was in it, he just told her to sell it for $80 ... I know that when people give me packages to take to work and sell to strangers I never ask any questions ... oh and the neighbor? He’s 82 and they arrested him too. Yup he was arrested and the 400 gallons of moonshine he had in his house (read “single wide”) were confiscated. All in all just your typical Wednesday in Charlotte. The only thing missing is a mention of someone driving a ‘77 el Camino.
And now for two stories that involve complete insanity. In Iraq yesterday there was a “wave of coordinated attacks” that blew up two government buildings and killed 127 people. It’s good to see that whole withdrawal thing working out for the Iraqi people, sure seems like the National Security Force has the situation under control.
And in Brazil the organization Human Rights Watch came out with a report that stated in the past 6 years the police have killed 11,000 people. Yes that’s over 2,000 people per year. So of course the government denied the report and had some logical explanation ... right? No. Their response said that the killings were “a problem that they are aware of”. Don’t worry Brazilians who are going to be killed by the police this year ... I’m sure that they’re working on it.
Ok, so I was going to close with some commentary on the president’s speech in Norway today ... he accepted th Nobel Peace Prize (you know, the award that Ghandi and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. And Mandella and the disarmed IRA won for promoting peace) and as part of the deal he gets to give a speech. So I was going to break it down for you, but I’m just going to give you some excerpts and as you’re reading them just remember he was accepting the Nobel PEACE Prize ...
"A nonviolent movement could not have halted Hitler's armies. Negotiations cannot convince al-Qaida's leaders to lay down their arms," Obama said. "To say that force is sometimes necessary is not a call to cynicism, it is a recognition of history."
"some will kill, some will be killed."
"No matter how justified, war promises human tragedy,"
"There will be times when nations -- acting individually or in concert -- will find the use of force not only necessary but morally justified."
"Martin Luther King Jr. said in this same ceremony years ago: 'Violence never brings permanent peace. It solves no social problem: it merely creates new and more complicated ones.'" (at least someone is making sense, thanks MLK)
"So yes, the instruments of war do have a role to play in preserving the peace"
"Oh, it's not the War prize? Are you sure ... peace prize you say ... are you sure? So you're sure... ? Oh, well i can throw out THIS whole speech." (quote made up ... but the rest of them are real.)
"Mr President it's time to recieve your peace prize ... "-random Secret Service agent.
"Hold on Bill, i'm bombing the afghan countryside, i'll be right there"- Obama
Today’s post is brought to you by people who have no idea what they’re talking about but are so loud and relentless that actual smart people stop arguing with them and agree just to end the discussion. You know that guy too? Weird.
In a story that will get all the Area 51 conspiracy nuts hot and bothered ... on Wednesday night the people of Norway were treated to a spectacular display of spiraling light with a blue/green beam bursting out of the center. If you haven’t seen the pictures, check it out. People immediately assumed that the aliens had come for them, and began calling the police and news outlets to report the alien invasion. Moments later the Russians admitted that it was really a failed missile test ... the 7th time this new missile has failed in testing ... out of 12 tries. Sure Russia, sure it was a missile ... obviously a cover up for the crashed UFO that as you read this is being taken to a secret Russian Air force base and hidden underground for screwballs worldwide to speculate about for the next 50 years. But seriously, wasn’t the president in Norway today? Lemme get this right, the Russians are testing unreliable military delivery systems over the President of the United States’ hotel room? First the party crashers and now this! Has anyone told the secret service what their job is yet? They are supposed to keep the guy alive. And Russia, what in the world happened to you? You used to be scarey, a worthy opponent in the global game of dominos/prop up governments up that kill lots of their own people. Now you have multiple billion dollar missiles that make pretty clouds 58% of the time? Lemme clue you in, they’re supposed to go boom. Oh, and hide the alien.
In Crazy North Carolina red neck news, the police in Charlotte have arrested a 57 year old day care owner for selling moonshine while she was supposed to be watching other people’s children. Yes, that’s right, when the undercover agent went into the day care to buy the 2 gallons of moonshine the lady was watching your children. So of course the lady explained the “misunderstanding” to the police. You see her neighbor gave her the package and she had no idea what was in it, he just told her to sell it for $80 ... I know that when people give me packages to take to work and sell to strangers I never ask any questions ... oh and the neighbor? He’s 82 and they arrested him too. Yup he was arrested and the 400 gallons of moonshine he had in his house (read “single wide”) were confiscated. All in all just your typical Wednesday in Charlotte. The only thing missing is a mention of someone driving a ‘77 el Camino.
And now for two stories that involve complete insanity. In Iraq yesterday there was a “wave of coordinated attacks” that blew up two government buildings and killed 127 people. It’s good to see that whole withdrawal thing working out for the Iraqi people, sure seems like the National Security Force has the situation under control.
And in Brazil the organization Human Rights Watch came out with a report that stated in the past 6 years the police have killed 11,000 people. Yes that’s over 2,000 people per year. So of course the government denied the report and had some logical explanation ... right? No. Their response said that the killings were “a problem that they are aware of”. Don’t worry Brazilians who are going to be killed by the police this year ... I’m sure that they’re working on it.
Ok, so I was going to close with some commentary on the president’s speech in Norway today ... he accepted th Nobel Peace Prize (you know, the award that Ghandi and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. And Mandella and the disarmed IRA won for promoting peace) and as part of the deal he gets to give a speech. So I was going to break it down for you, but I’m just going to give you some excerpts and as you’re reading them just remember he was accepting the Nobel PEACE Prize ...
"A nonviolent movement could not have halted Hitler's armies. Negotiations cannot convince al-Qaida's leaders to lay down their arms," Obama said. "To say that force is sometimes necessary is not a call to cynicism, it is a recognition of history."
"some will kill, some will be killed."
"No matter how justified, war promises human tragedy,"
"There will be times when nations -- acting individually or in concert -- will find the use of force not only necessary but morally justified."
"Martin Luther King Jr. said in this same ceremony years ago: 'Violence never brings permanent peace. It solves no social problem: it merely creates new and more complicated ones.'" (at least someone is making sense, thanks MLK)
"So yes, the instruments of war do have a role to play in preserving the peace"
"Oh, it's not the War prize? Are you sure ... peace prize you say ... are you sure? So you're sure... ? Oh, well i can throw out THIS whole speech." (quote made up ... but the rest of them are real.)
"Mr President it's time to recieve your peace prize ... "-random Secret Service agent.
"Hold on Bill, i'm bombing the afghan countryside, i'll be right there"- Obama
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Sleep Deprovation
On a serious note today’s post is brought to you in the reverential memory of Fred Hampton. 40 years ago on December 4th Fred Hampton was shot multiple times and killed by the Chicago police department while he lay in his bed at home. Love or hate his politics, he was a promising and charismatic young man who wanted to see real changes in this country and wanted more than anything to improve the lives of those left disenfranchised in our nation. He was only 21 years old.
The reactionary instigators in the mainstream media are reporting that the government of Uganda has proposed using capital punishment in instances where people are convicted of being gay. How do they sleep at night?!? That not what it says! The law now being considered by their parliament only proposes putting to death those convicted of same-sex rape ... consensual homosexuals would only get life in prison. Wait, what?!? Oh. Carry on mainstream media, let the lambasting of Uganda continue. The law actually says that if you fail to report friends or family members for being “the gay” you can be sentenced to 7 years in prison. Landlords who rent to homosexuals will also get seven years. Africans don’t have enough reasons to hate and kill each other, so this is good, it gives them something to do. John Muwanguzi Ugandan “everyman”, is much more reasonable, and thinks the current bill is ludicrous, “I feel that the bill is good and necessary, but I don't think gays should be killed. They should be imprisoned for about a year and warned never to do it again. The family is in danger in Uganda because the rate at which vice is spreading is appalling." .I mean, a year in prison sounds harsh, but compared to the death penalty it’s not so bad. So I’m going to vote for Muwanguzi. And it makes me realize that while we don't agree about which rights homosexuals should have in this country i'm glad that we live in a country that recognizes that they have rights and we aren't trying to imprison them or kill them.
In morons from Nebraska news, Mr. Terrance Wanatabi is broke. He made his fortune running his father’s party favor import business into the ground.. Then, in 2007, he went to Las Vegas and lost $127 MILLION in a single year. Now he’s been arrested and charged with fraud due to unpaid gambling debts and in response he’s decided to sue the casino for plying him with genrous amounts of alcohol and prescription drugs. You mean to say that when you go in a casino and they offer you free drinks while you’re gambling it’s not because they want to be your friend? That’s what casinos do you idiot! They get you drunk so that you lose money making bad decisions ... here’s how it works, you bet and win a little, casino offers free drinks and you lose the money you won, they offer more free drinks and you lose the rest of the money you brought to gamble, then you wake up in the morning broke and hung over and think to yourself “why did I do that, it was so stupid” then you go HOME! You don’t sell your father’s company and stay for a year losing money the whole time! Why blame just the casino, sue your dead father for raising such a buffoon and giving him a fortune while you’re at it.
Ah Greece, home of one of the greatest civilizations in history, inventors of democracy, philosophy, perfecters of theater ... how the mighty have fallen. A year ago in Greece they rioted in the streets in response to a young unarmed man being shot by police. So how did they celebrate the one year anniversary of the tragedy? Candle light vigil? Prayer meeting? Memorial service? Meeting with police to discuss improvements made? No, they had a commemorative riot. Buildings were destroyed and they threw home made gasoline bombs at the police sent out to disperse the crowd. Not exactly 300 Spartans standing up to an empire facing certain destruction is it? No it’s more like 30 jerks trying to kill some Greek police men by burning them alive.
Next post is tomorrow and is about finance ... it would have been today but it's going to take an extra day to figure how to make it interesting.
The reactionary instigators in the mainstream media are reporting that the government of Uganda has proposed using capital punishment in instances where people are convicted of being gay. How do they sleep at night?!? That not what it says! The law now being considered by their parliament only proposes putting to death those convicted of same-sex rape ... consensual homosexuals would only get life in prison. Wait, what?!? Oh. Carry on mainstream media, let the lambasting of Uganda continue. The law actually says that if you fail to report friends or family members for being “the gay” you can be sentenced to 7 years in prison. Landlords who rent to homosexuals will also get seven years. Africans don’t have enough reasons to hate and kill each other, so this is good, it gives them something to do. John Muwanguzi Ugandan “everyman”, is much more reasonable, and thinks the current bill is ludicrous, “I feel that the bill is good and necessary, but I don't think gays should be killed. They should be imprisoned for about a year and warned never to do it again. The family is in danger in Uganda because the rate at which vice is spreading is appalling." .I mean, a year in prison sounds harsh, but compared to the death penalty it’s not so bad. So I’m going to vote for Muwanguzi. And it makes me realize that while we don't agree about which rights homosexuals should have in this country i'm glad that we live in a country that recognizes that they have rights and we aren't trying to imprison them or kill them.
In morons from Nebraska news, Mr. Terrance Wanatabi is broke. He made his fortune running his father’s party favor import business into the ground.. Then, in 2007, he went to Las Vegas and lost $127 MILLION in a single year. Now he’s been arrested and charged with fraud due to unpaid gambling debts and in response he’s decided to sue the casino for plying him with genrous amounts of alcohol and prescription drugs. You mean to say that when you go in a casino and they offer you free drinks while you’re gambling it’s not because they want to be your friend? That’s what casinos do you idiot! They get you drunk so that you lose money making bad decisions ... here’s how it works, you bet and win a little, casino offers free drinks and you lose the money you won, they offer more free drinks and you lose the rest of the money you brought to gamble, then you wake up in the morning broke and hung over and think to yourself “why did I do that, it was so stupid” then you go HOME! You don’t sell your father’s company and stay for a year losing money the whole time! Why blame just the casino, sue your dead father for raising such a buffoon and giving him a fortune while you’re at it.
Ah Greece, home of one of the greatest civilizations in history, inventors of democracy, philosophy, perfecters of theater ... how the mighty have fallen. A year ago in Greece they rioted in the streets in response to a young unarmed man being shot by police. So how did they celebrate the one year anniversary of the tragedy? Candle light vigil? Prayer meeting? Memorial service? Meeting with police to discuss improvements made? No, they had a commemorative riot. Buildings were destroyed and they threw home made gasoline bombs at the police sent out to disperse the crowd. Not exactly 300 Spartans standing up to an empire facing certain destruction is it? No it’s more like 30 jerks trying to kill some Greek police men by burning them alive.
Next post is tomorrow and is about finance ... it would have been today but it's going to take an extra day to figure how to make it interesting.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
The metamorphosis continues.
Todays post is brought to you by the unemployment rate! Hooray for new data that shows the unemployment rate shrinking from 10.2% all the way down to 10.1%. Thank goodness for that! Oh, and i know what you're thinking, but it has nothing to do with the fact that there were more layoffs but the number of people who gave up looking for work they are qualified for and took part time work making minimum wage so that they could feed themselves slightly exceeded the number of people laid off. Also, i do not at all buy into the idea that large corporations have figured out that the unemployment report scares their customers into not spending money and in turn they have found ways to cut peoples hours/wages/benefits instead of laying them off. That's just silly. So here's to the 0.1% of people that are now un-unemployed and all the projections that show a major recovery so imminent that i can almost taste it.
Okay, so today i was listening to the radio on my way to buy a 89 cent burrito at Taco Bell (i was going to get a 99 cent burger, but i could only find 93 pennies under the seat in my car) and a guy who works for the "Mutual Fund Store" was telling his audience that mutual funds were a great place to invest their money right now and that the economy was going to rebound very soon and so would the market (ie. mutual funds). Really? That's like me telling you that it is a great time to invest all your money in tires for your car, and maybe some coolant flushes. I mean you can never have too many coolant flushes. Could the guy have made any more self-serving predictions? How about, "I think that my personal checking account is a great place to invest your money"? I'm sure that the Fed's fiscal policy is just getting ready to fix the whole massive unpayable debt/ no jobs/ falsified earnings reports/ inevitable hyper inflation. So yeah ... go buy mutual funds.
In Florida news, Pasco County (for you non-Floridians that's like the New Jersey of Tampa Bay, well it's like New Jersey with more trailer parks and cows and less disgraced govenors and Trans-Ams) has announced that they have their third official death directly due to H1N1 this year. So directly means that the person died from H1N1 and that if it wasn't for the piggy-flu they would still be driving their pick up around Pasco county ... right? So the man was really healthy except for the H1N1 and the " ... multiple chronic underlying medical conditions." My heart goes out to the man and his family. That said, isn't this a bit like blaming the death of a 106 year old on blood thinners who has had 16 by-pass surgeries and two stokes on the flu. If the state of your health is best described using words like "chronic" and "underlying" with "multiple" thrown in for good measure can we really say the flu killed you? Or is it more accurate to say he died and ... by the way, he also had the flu?
In sports news, Florida lost to Alabama proving once and for all that Florida coach Urban Meyer's insistance that Tim Tebow include the other 10 players on the offense is a huge miscalculation. If only Tebow had been out there by himself the Gators would have rushed for 16,000 yards and Tebow would finally been able to prove that he can complete a "go rout" pass to himself like he claims. In other sports news England will be avenging that whole "uppity colonist" debacle from the late 18th century in March when they embarress their former posession on the "Football pitch" during the world cup's first round of play.
In celebrity news Chris Brown stated in an interview that he "never, ever had problems with anger." Which would be great if he hadn't beaten and choked his girlfriend because she made him angry. Well, i guess tecnically she was the one who had the problem with his anger, in this case the problem she had was breathing and seeing through her swolen eye. When is Chris Brown going to go away and just hide in the cave that Ike Turner spent 20 years in?
In closing i need some help coming up with a great Christmas present idea for my wife ... Angela don't read this part ... so if you have any ideas please share in the comments section. If you're thinking Rolex ... you probably need to think more Timex. Thanks.
Okay, so today i was listening to the radio on my way to buy a 89 cent burrito at Taco Bell (i was going to get a 99 cent burger, but i could only find 93 pennies under the seat in my car) and a guy who works for the "Mutual Fund Store" was telling his audience that mutual funds were a great place to invest their money right now and that the economy was going to rebound very soon and so would the market (ie. mutual funds). Really? That's like me telling you that it is a great time to invest all your money in tires for your car, and maybe some coolant flushes. I mean you can never have too many coolant flushes. Could the guy have made any more self-serving predictions? How about, "I think that my personal checking account is a great place to invest your money"? I'm sure that the Fed's fiscal policy is just getting ready to fix the whole massive unpayable debt/ no jobs/ falsified earnings reports/ inevitable hyper inflation. So yeah ... go buy mutual funds.
In Florida news, Pasco County (for you non-Floridians that's like the New Jersey of Tampa Bay, well it's like New Jersey with more trailer parks and cows and less disgraced govenors and Trans-Ams) has announced that they have their third official death directly due to H1N1 this year. So directly means that the person died from H1N1 and that if it wasn't for the piggy-flu they would still be driving their pick up around Pasco county ... right? So the man was really healthy except for the H1N1 and the " ... multiple chronic underlying medical conditions." My heart goes out to the man and his family. That said, isn't this a bit like blaming the death of a 106 year old on blood thinners who has had 16 by-pass surgeries and two stokes on the flu. If the state of your health is best described using words like "chronic" and "underlying" with "multiple" thrown in for good measure can we really say the flu killed you? Or is it more accurate to say he died and ... by the way, he also had the flu?
In sports news, Florida lost to Alabama proving once and for all that Florida coach Urban Meyer's insistance that Tim Tebow include the other 10 players on the offense is a huge miscalculation. If only Tebow had been out there by himself the Gators would have rushed for 16,000 yards and Tebow would finally been able to prove that he can complete a "go rout" pass to himself like he claims. In other sports news England will be avenging that whole "uppity colonist" debacle from the late 18th century in March when they embarress their former posession on the "Football pitch" during the world cup's first round of play.
In celebrity news Chris Brown stated in an interview that he "never, ever had problems with anger." Which would be great if he hadn't beaten and choked his girlfriend because she made him angry. Well, i guess tecnically she was the one who had the problem with his anger, in this case the problem she had was breathing and seeing through her swolen eye. When is Chris Brown going to go away and just hide in the cave that Ike Turner spent 20 years in?
In closing i need some help coming up with a great Christmas present idea for my wife ... Angela don't read this part ... so if you have any ideas please share in the comments section. If you're thinking Rolex ... you probably need to think more Timex. Thanks.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Friday, Welcome Home!
Today's post is brought to you by people who trample their friends and neighbors to death in search of flat screen TVs. That's the kind of determination and focus that this country was founded upon ... refusal to yeild to measly obsticles like human decency, the half dead bodies of weaker shoppers and empathy again won the day last friday!
So the apellate court of Florida ruled this week that the state legislature does not have the right to ignore a request of the Sons of the Confederacy to have a conferate flag vanity plate here in the great state of Florida. The law apparently says that if you have $20,000 and 30,000 signatures you can have any lisence plate that you want. So that's why there are 500 choices at the tag office down here. I don't know where to start with this one. There are 30,000 racist morons in Florida? I for one am shocked! The Florida lesislature has a law on the books that is poorly thought out and allows for people to drown minorities in our history of brutality, murder, rape and enslavement? C'mon ... i can't believe it! I mean honestly, it's really not enough that i drive by a confederate flag the size of a football field everyday at the intersection of the two busiest interstates in Tampa, i would like to also see it with a state sanctioned registration sticker on it.
And in the land of the sympathy strike (France), a place where every working person goes on strike if plumbers want a raise and even emergency room doctors are in a labor union, the workers at the Louvre have decided to strike in protest of potential layoffs. I mean why should you lay off museum workers just because no one is going to the museum and in coming revenue has become as scarce as cheese without mold on it . I know, they could sell the Mona Lisa to China and use the money to pay for the extra ticket takers and guys who wear red jackets while standing around in a very official manner. That or they could have special exhibits that French people would love like paintings of people running away, or a whole room full of white flags. Or there's always the participatory exhibit where regular French people could blow filterless cigarette smoke in the faces of American tourist families. That one i bet they could charge at least 100 euros just for, lines around the block.. Problem solved.
This one hits pretty close to home on a bunch of fronts, and i know what you're thinking, but i was never abused by a nun. In Ireland the "Sisters of Mercy" order of catholic nuns have agreed to pay $193 million dollars in damages as part of a settlement for 14,000 victims of "systematic and chronic" child abuse by 18 different catholic orders who had children in their care. $90 million will be paid in cash and the rest in property holdings. That's right the Sisters of Mercy have $193 MILLION in assets that they can spare ... nuns ... nuns in a country that until very recently plagued by poverty and unemployment. Aparenty the abuse of the children included beating them up and taking their lunch money ... everyday for the past 800 years.
And i suppose i have to weigh in on the Tiger Woods thing ... i mean, everyone else is. So i don't really care about his relationship with his wife, he's right, it is private. It's completly up to her if she wants to forgive him or not (double the pre-nup) but have you seen the tramps he was running around with? Two words for you Tiger, Penicillin Bath ... rince and repeat buddy, rince and repeat.
So the apellate court of Florida ruled this week that the state legislature does not have the right to ignore a request of the Sons of the Confederacy to have a conferate flag vanity plate here in the great state of Florida. The law apparently says that if you have $20,000 and 30,000 signatures you can have any lisence plate that you want. So that's why there are 500 choices at the tag office down here. I don't know where to start with this one. There are 30,000 racist morons in Florida? I for one am shocked! The Florida lesislature has a law on the books that is poorly thought out and allows for people to drown minorities in our history of brutality, murder, rape and enslavement? C'mon ... i can't believe it! I mean honestly, it's really not enough that i drive by a confederate flag the size of a football field everyday at the intersection of the two busiest interstates in Tampa, i would like to also see it with a state sanctioned registration sticker on it.
And in the land of the sympathy strike (France), a place where every working person goes on strike if plumbers want a raise and even emergency room doctors are in a labor union, the workers at the Louvre have decided to strike in protest of potential layoffs. I mean why should you lay off museum workers just because no one is going to the museum and in coming revenue has become as scarce as cheese without mold on it . I know, they could sell the Mona Lisa to China and use the money to pay for the extra ticket takers and guys who wear red jackets while standing around in a very official manner. That or they could have special exhibits that French people would love like paintings of people running away, or a whole room full of white flags. Or there's always the participatory exhibit where regular French people could blow filterless cigarette smoke in the faces of American tourist families. That one i bet they could charge at least 100 euros just for, lines around the block.. Problem solved.
This one hits pretty close to home on a bunch of fronts, and i know what you're thinking, but i was never abused by a nun. In Ireland the "Sisters of Mercy" order of catholic nuns have agreed to pay $193 million dollars in damages as part of a settlement for 14,000 victims of "systematic and chronic" child abuse by 18 different catholic orders who had children in their care. $90 million will be paid in cash and the rest in property holdings. That's right the Sisters of Mercy have $193 MILLION in assets that they can spare ... nuns ... nuns in a country that until very recently plagued by poverty and unemployment. Aparenty the abuse of the children included beating them up and taking their lunch money ... everyday for the past 800 years.
And i suppose i have to weigh in on the Tiger Woods thing ... i mean, everyone else is. So i don't really care about his relationship with his wife, he's right, it is private. It's completly up to her if she wants to forgive him or not (double the pre-nup) but have you seen the tramps he was running around with? Two words for you Tiger, Penicillin Bath ... rince and repeat buddy, rince and repeat.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Bold Predictions
I'm going to take the bold step of predicting the path of health care reform in the United States. I know what you're thinking, "Denis, you're too young and no one can predict what the great moral crusaders in Washington are going to do to save us, and even if someone could it would be a true Merlin of public policy equipped with a plethora of Phd's and the long white beard of socially accepted wisdom." I'll grant you that, if i had a long white beard i would feel more comfortable making predictions.
But here we go just the same. Today the House of Representatives passed a bill entitled HR 3692 with an overwhelming majority (220-215) no make that a 5 man landslide! HR 3692 is a 1000 page epic that depending on who you listen to either raises your taxes or removes benefits from seniors or limits the autonomy of the insurance conglomerates or turns the United States into the People's Republic of the Red White and Blue or makes everything you ever wanted free while making all of the problems currently associated with medical care disappear in a dramatic "poof" ... it might be all or none of these, and at least a few pages of the bill may or may not include the much debated "public option".
What they voted on today doesn't really matter. Here's what will happen next. The Senate will pass a bill that also may or may not have something in it related to medical care but it will be nothing like the bill passed in the house. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that it will be shorter and not include the "public option" and there will be a clause that says all the senators get jobs consulting for insurance companies if they ever lose an election. Then the President will scold all of them and tell them that they really need to have a consensus for the "good of the American people". The legislature will spend a bunch of time on local TV talking about how they really want change (people like that word) and it's the other guy's fault that the bill has not already passed and you have not yet received your personal MRI machine. Then they will go back to Washington and pass a bill that keeps the Senator's get jobs clause, adds in a amendment that says everyone must mail $1 to the CEO of Humana, raises your taxes and says something vague about a tax break for people who have to pay for their own insurance, but to get the tax break you will have to spend $10,000 per year on medical expenses and earn less than $50,000 in household income (those numbers might be pie in the sky, but i bet they're close).President Obama will go on TV and say that the legislators are the greatest Americans in history for fighting a courageous battle to maintain the status quo and there will be some vague promises about the improvements being phased in over the next 5 years. You will either feel enraged or apathetic as a result and a bunch of republicans will be elected in 2010 as a result of the ensuing passion/lack of passion.
If all that is too much for you i'll break it down: elected officials will pretend to have ideological argument about entitlements and responsibilities, the president will step in, a bill will be signed into law that will not positively effect you in anyway, rich insurance execs and lobbyists will dine on endangered species flame broiled over burning $100 bills, elected officials will claim victory/demonize the other party in order to collect votes for next time. Oh, and you will watch and listen to all of it for months.
Meanwhile ......................................over here, there will be 40,000 more young Americans sent to fight in Afghanistan, there will be a war in Yemen, a debt crisis in Africa, tensions in South America, tensions in the occupied west bank and a crisis with Iran's desire to be a self determining nation state that can decide as it wishes to power itself with out buying their fuel from a NATO country, a domestic financial system that is about to collapse, record unemployment stagnating wages and decreased domestic production. SO remember, while your government is off sticking its nose where it does not belong we need you to go ahead and just watch as the democratically elected legislature ignores to will of the people who elected them, please focus on Health Care. Thank you.
But here we go just the same. Today the House of Representatives passed a bill entitled HR 3692 with an overwhelming majority (220-215) no make that a 5 man landslide! HR 3692 is a 1000 page epic that depending on who you listen to either raises your taxes or removes benefits from seniors or limits the autonomy of the insurance conglomerates or turns the United States into the People's Republic of the Red White and Blue or makes everything you ever wanted free while making all of the problems currently associated with medical care disappear in a dramatic "poof" ... it might be all or none of these, and at least a few pages of the bill may or may not include the much debated "public option".
What they voted on today doesn't really matter. Here's what will happen next. The Senate will pass a bill that also may or may not have something in it related to medical care but it will be nothing like the bill passed in the house. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that it will be shorter and not include the "public option" and there will be a clause that says all the senators get jobs consulting for insurance companies if they ever lose an election. Then the President will scold all of them and tell them that they really need to have a consensus for the "good of the American people". The legislature will spend a bunch of time on local TV talking about how they really want change (people like that word) and it's the other guy's fault that the bill has not already passed and you have not yet received your personal MRI machine. Then they will go back to Washington and pass a bill that keeps the Senator's get jobs clause, adds in a amendment that says everyone must mail $1 to the CEO of Humana, raises your taxes and says something vague about a tax break for people who have to pay for their own insurance, but to get the tax break you will have to spend $10,000 per year on medical expenses and earn less than $50,000 in household income (those numbers might be pie in the sky, but i bet they're close).President Obama will go on TV and say that the legislators are the greatest Americans in history for fighting a courageous battle to maintain the status quo and there will be some vague promises about the improvements being phased in over the next 5 years. You will either feel enraged or apathetic as a result and a bunch of republicans will be elected in 2010 as a result of the ensuing passion/lack of passion.
If all that is too much for you i'll break it down: elected officials will pretend to have ideological argument about entitlements and responsibilities, the president will step in, a bill will be signed into law that will not positively effect you in anyway, rich insurance execs and lobbyists will dine on endangered species flame broiled over burning $100 bills, elected officials will claim victory/demonize the other party in order to collect votes for next time. Oh, and you will watch and listen to all of it for months.
Meanwhile ......................................over here, there will be 40,000 more young Americans sent to fight in Afghanistan, there will be a war in Yemen, a debt crisis in Africa, tensions in South America, tensions in the occupied west bank and a crisis with Iran's desire to be a self determining nation state that can decide as it wishes to power itself with out buying their fuel from a NATO country, a domestic financial system that is about to collapse, record unemployment stagnating wages and decreased domestic production. SO remember, while your government is off sticking its nose where it does not belong we need you to go ahead and just watch as the democratically elected legislature ignores to will of the people who elected them, please focus on Health Care. Thank you.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Really?
So I have this "ad-aware" thing on here and it's there so that if you click on them then i get paid ... i am not encouraging you to do it, because i don't care and also because i'm not allowed to. Anyway, that's not the point ... the fun part is that if i type something like "ESPN is the worst channel ever created, they have ruined watching sports by over dissecting every sneeze to satisfy the plethora of networks they launched with no real demand. ESPN tries to create sports news not report it and they are typical of what has happened to journalism ... reporting has been replaced by the attempted sale of news which leads to mindless sensationalism and the promotion of trivial nonsense while ignoring real stories that might not sell. ESPN is symptomatic of everything that is wrong with TV, sports and news." There will be an ad for ESPN right below that post. SO, don't click on it, but it's there isn't it. Computers are dumb ... they don't get sarcasm at all!
So that's fun. In other news i'm looking into the concept of micro-lending, which works really well in devoloping countries like the bank in Bangladesh that loaned out $6.4 billion in 7.2 billion loans, that's right, it's less than $1 each. So, i'm thinking that we have the same issues here and in every capitalist country in the world ($1 might not work here) but loaning money to "soliodarity groups" (nonfamily co-signers that vouch for eachother and repay together) in small amounts at really low interest rates is a sustainable business model here and in Africa and everywhere else. Just the idea of a bank loaning money to people who can actually use it to better their lives and their families lives and their communities with out collateral ... i mean isn't it better, "more american" than banks loaning money to eachother and then hiring people to work at low wages in bad conditions? So i'm going to keep thinking about that and i'll let you know what i come up with. Ideas are welcome on this one.
So that's fun. In other news i'm looking into the concept of micro-lending, which works really well in devoloping countries like the bank in Bangladesh that loaned out $6.4 billion in 7.2 billion loans, that's right, it's less than $1 each. So, i'm thinking that we have the same issues here and in every capitalist country in the world ($1 might not work here) but loaning money to "soliodarity groups" (nonfamily co-signers that vouch for eachother and repay together) in small amounts at really low interest rates is a sustainable business model here and in Africa and everywhere else. Just the idea of a bank loaning money to people who can actually use it to better their lives and their families lives and their communities with out collateral ... i mean isn't it better, "more american" than banks loaning money to eachother and then hiring people to work at low wages in bad conditions? So i'm going to keep thinking about that and i'll let you know what i come up with. Ideas are welcome on this one.
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